Dh thinks he's a nap hero

[Neoflex]

Every time I accidentally take a nap I feel so unwell for the rest of the day it literally ruins my day. I just put my daughter down for a nap and accidentally fell asleep with her on the bed. 3 hours later and I feel like death. Groggy, sick, frustrated, annoyed and unable to think. Legs are wobbly and im glued to the sofa.

Dh on the other hand loves naps and is always trying to trick me into a family nap. It's like a hobby.

If he didn't work he would join our 20 month old for all of our naps. On weekends he always naps with our toddler.

We just spent two weeks on holiday and he napped with her every single day, for 3 hours. Sometimes I read my book on the balcony, sometimes I cooked or cleaned, but some days I would have liked some company.

If I am ever tired he blames me for "refusing" to nap even though I have explained time and time again how unwell it makes me feel. He just can't understand because "naps feel so good". If I am accidentally nodding off he sees this as an opportunity to force me into a nap by shutting the curtains and covering me in a blanket. It's supposed to be romantic but I have begged him to always stop me from napping anywhere.

Ive just woken grumpy from another nap so probably i am. But abiu to hate naps and also slightly hate him for all the magical naps he gets to enjoy while i just feel like dogger?

If I nap for that long then that's me ruined for the day. I can never shake the sluggish feeling. But if I snooze for 15/20 minutes and then get up and start moving I do feel more refreshed.

My friend is a sleep therapist. She says have a cup of coffee, have a nap for about 25 minutes (set your alarm), and you will wake up just in time for the caffeine boost to hit, and make you feel energised. If you 'nap' for longer, you will enter deep sleep, and will feel groggy when you wake up.
I love a nanna nap

Your dh is basically not listening to you. He thinks because he loves to nap, everyone does!

Does he usually ignore your feelings like this?

I too love a nap but dont want to sleep for 3 hours!. why dont you put your phone on for say 1.5 hours from when you lie down .(This is what I do .I keep waking up at 6 am (No babies waking me up!).This is the best time for a nap otherwise I fall asleep early evening and miss all the good shows on TV!

@Neoflex

As a pp said, three hours is not a NAP. That's half the sleep I get at night sometimes.

No wonder you feel crappy and groggy. You are getting too much sleep.

If I 'nap' on the chair for 20-30 minutes, I feel better afterwards (though do sometimes need a shower as I feel sticky) but 3 hours? I could never sleep that long in the middle of the day!

The only way I could do that is if I slept only 4-5 hours during the night (for some reason,) and I needed to 'catch up.' It is rare I do that though.

I was like you OP and then I discovered that 20-40 minutes works best for me.

I set my alarm, close my eyes, and started counting backwards from 100 and I'm usually gone within a few minutes. Cup of tea and a biscuit when I wake up and it really helps.

I also hate naps and have just left an XP who would 'nap' (ie fall asleep over his laptop) at least twice a day, and ruined a holiday for me by not only napping every afternoon but also sleeping in until after ten.

I actually think there might be something wrong (sleep apnoea?) with him. His smug pleasure in nodding off over his computer when he'd only been out of bed for a couple of hours just made me cringe - he seemed to think acting like a 90 year old was somehow good!

So I'm with you, OP!

I assumed a nap was less than an hour.
3hrs is a nights sleep to me.
How on earth does you and your h manage to sleep at bed time.
I`m gobsmacked.

I'm the same as you. If I accidently nap I feel ill for the rest of the day. Then I can't get to sleep at night either because I've had a nap. Although it would be annoying having your partner sleep for 3 hours a day on holiday it would also be a good opportunity to do something for yourself out of the house whilst being child free.

OP, your daytime naps need to be shorter. Twenty minutes will make you feel fine, an hour and a half won't.

Sorry OP. I also meant to say your DP is being VU and I'm not surprised his behaviour is making you unhappy. I hope that you are able to make him understand your point of view.

You are definitely doing it wrong!
Three hours is far too long and I know exactly how you feel if you inadvertantly sleep for that long during the day, because I feel the same: ghastly.
However, I am regularly have a 20-30 minute nap after lunch and it really makes me feel refreshed and ready to face the challenges of the afternoon - I ALWAYS set my mobile phone to ring after 25 minutes - problem solved.

Oh, I hate napping. And nappers. I also feel like death if I have any kind of nap, so I avoid it. But my husband will happily sleep for 3+ hours in the middle of the day if allowed. If he even sits on the sofa between 2ish and 5, he is likely to nod off. It drives me insane, because I am invariably left entertaining the kids who either no longer nap or just take short ones.

I seem to be surrounded by extended nappers. My pre-DC holiday companions were usually either him or my best friend, both of whom would nap for hours every day. These naps would always start at 5 when we returned from the pool or day trips. I would read/watch TV/fidget/shower/apply make up really slowly and all the while they would mumble that they were “getting up now” and when they finally woke they’d have to get ready then it would be 10.30pm before we sat down for dinner. Grr.

I wouldn't call 3 hours a nap! That's sleeping surely?! I would consider an hour to an hour and half a nap. I rarely nap.

I absolutely hate napping too. I actually thought it was one of the worst bits of baby sleep deprivation - I was so zonked with a newborn that I'd end up giving in and napping, but it always made me feel awful afterwards.

I love a nap. But if I napped for 3 hours, I’d feel terrible for the rest of the day, like you. Have you tried napping for about 20 minutes? I find that perks me up without making me groggy.

Regardless, it’s annoying that he tries to get you to nap when you’ve said you dislike it!

I also feel awful after a nap. My partner also tries to lure me into naps. Are you me OP?

It’s hit or miss napping for me. Sometimes I wake up feeling great other times as sick as a dog! It’s horrible like waking up with a hangover. DP napped on the window seat earlier and was aghast I didn’t nap lol!

I love an occasional nap but weirdly when I do I always need a poo afterwards (sorry, way TMI!)

Did you not wake up at all in the whole 3hrs?

I used to wake up & go back to sleep.

Now I get up when I first wake-usually after about 20mins.

Urgh my ex was a bit like this. He could fall asleep in a matter of seconds,at any time of the day,sleep for an hour or so then wake up feeling refreshed and happy,and frequently urging me to 'sleep for an hour'. I,on the other hand,take so long to fall asleep,it totally defeats the point of a nap. And when I HAVE napped,I feel like crap when I wake up. I feel nauseous,groggy,hung-over and bad tempered.

Neoflex just out of interest does it affect her night sleep? Sorry to derail. Also agree with you btw I would be annoyed about long naps on holiday, I would want to get out and see/ do stuff.

Oh god, that's gross, I'm so sorry. I can't nap either. I used to, for a variety of reasons I used to wake up utterly exhausted, so I felt that I "had" to nap at some point during the day. I then realised the naps were making me feel worse, so I stopped them. It was brutal for about a week, as I really was tired, but I pushed through and once I'd got through that first week, I felt so much better. I think I've napped twice since then, both times when I was ill. I now wake up feeling fine and I'm not so tired during the day.

In your shoes I'd wake both DH and the toddler up after an hour and a half. She'll sleep longer in the morning and he can actually live his life rather than sleeping through it

3 hours isn't a nap.

How old is DD? How much other sleep does she get in hours? I'm just confused by the idea of a 3 hour nap

I'd be annoyed if DH spent 3 hours in the middle of every day asleep. Did you never go out and leave DD to nap in the pushchair?

I could see him letting you fall asleep on your own cos it means you're tired, but closing the curtains and putting a blanket over you when you've asked him not to just make him a controlling dick imo.

I used to be like this. After a nap I would wake up feeling absolutely awful. Very hard to describe but really did not feel good. Certainly didn't feel refreshed in any way. Now it's not so bad if I have a nap and just feel slightly crap occasionally.