To have hated ‘This is going to hurt’ by Adam Kay?

[SweetMelodies]

Just that really. So many recommendations to read it from others, it seems to have so much praise and is a number 1 seller.

I like to think I have a good sense of humour and sometimes a pretty dark one at that but I just found the book absolutely dripping in misogyny. Sure it IS well-written and he is obviously a very talented writer and some bits were indeed funny... but a lot of it really turned my stomach, the language, the way he speaks about women, his really narrow-minded attitude towards birth that isn’t evidence-based at all, just based the very limited picture of birth he has. He clearly puts the women in a category of ‘other’ and ‘less than’.

I did feel terrible for him having experienced the dreadful situation at the end and it did highlight how overworked drs can be... but at the same time I think the language and attitudes displayed in it really summarised the paternal and disrespectful attitudes in the maternity system that lead to so many women traumatised by childbirth.

Despite this I appear to be completely alone in this way of thinking, did anyone else not get a great feel from this (or parts of this) book?

He does use that example to dismiss all birth plans though and say that the women who bother with them are ‘floaty dressed’ or something along those lines

I read the book today. He doesn’t say that.

Read it recently and I loved it.

As for H, sex is never mentioned. The closest you'll come is he mentioned dinner with a 'Hannah'. As H is referred to as 'H' all the way through I assumed Hannah was a separate person.

He talks about “a certain denomination of floaty dressed mother”, in reference to a specific woman whose 9 page missive included whale song. He doesn’t imply that all women who have birth plans are the same.

Hannah is his friend’s wife.

Because of this thread I reread it this afternoon. Now I’m actually wondering if I read the same book. The one I read was about the insanity of the system of medical training, the miraculousness that things go wrong so seldom and the utter dedication of overworked, underpaid, exhausted junior doctors

Same here, Alsohuman

I agree with Fennella

I loved it. Hadn’t heard of it until I read the thread here yesterday so I downloaded it to my kindle and read it. I think to enjoy it you need a sense of humour and to accept that childbirth can generate funny stories as well as desperately sad ones.

What I don’t understand is the poster who pointed out that the author has a husband. So what? It’s hardly something he hides - look him up on the internet and he’s open about it.

In the times we live in I found the remark homophobic - in what context was it relevant. But hey thanks for the information - but I was more interested in his writing.

He does use that example to dismiss all birth plans though and say that the women who bother with them are ‘floaty dressed’ or something along those lines

No he does not.

I don’t understand your support of BP’s, if for no other reason that it creates the framework for a pregnant woman to research and state their preferences.

But in a “shit-fan extraction” then patient in question was devoted to her plan to the point she put her baby at risk.

There is a point where the patient, in the face of medical opinion, sometimes never having actually had a baby, is better served by taking medical advice.

I had a forceps delivery for a distressed baby. I hadn’t had a bang up relationship up to that point with the Registrar; I had a close relationship with his Consultant and he’d been over ruled on induction. But at that moment I didn’t care. He knew how to get my baby out and i didn’t. I’d have emptied my bank account if it would’ve helped and if he caned me at a dinner party that weekend I also wouldn’t have cared.

Sorry, that should say I DO understand....

But at that moment I didn’t care. He knew how to get my baby out and i didn’t. I’d have emptied my bank account if it would’ve helped and if he caned me at a dinner party that weekend I also wouldn’t have cared

Same here, TSS. 'Shit-fan extraction' just about covers my first delivery. In fact, all concerned did their utmost to stick to my birth plan. But when it took a very bad turn, all anyone in that room wanted was to get my baby out with both parties still alive.

There but by the grace Rorty

Well presumably he has changed details of the story so that the woman he disfigured cannot recognise herself and take action. So who knows if the details of the tattoo and racist language are real.

But the essential spine of the story would be that a woman, who was probably experiencing the worst pain and terror of her life, behaved in a way he didn't approve of. Therefore, he decided to punish her by deliberately creating a large, messy scar across her abdomen.

He even says in the footnotes that his lawyer has advised him to say the story is not true because it would be assault. So hilarious, a doctor committing assault on a naked, immobilised, terrified woman.

You forgot to mention her open racism. Funny, that.

Subsequent deliveries were ELCS, TSS.

No I didn't - read my post again. But even if someone is racist, it's not ok to assault them.

Your post couldn’t have been more one sided. You throw doubt on the racist language - directed at no fewer than three hcps - then describe the patient as terrified, immobile, in the worst pain of her life. Easy to see which side you’ve come down. I’d be ashamed of defending a racist.

Therefore, he decided to punish her by deliberately creating a large, messy scar across her abdomen

No he didn't. Not defending what he did, but he marginally enlarged the skin incision to the size that would accommodate a larger baby's head.

And the whole point of the book is to illustrate how working 80-100 hour weeks for years on end, making life & death decisions every day, and with no psychological support, fucks you up. The incident is an illustration of that. Some posters seem to want an anodyne account of a perfectly empathetic but never emotional doctor robot, who is scrupulously patient-centred at all times. That would be a work of fiction, not an autobiography of anyone who has actually been a junior doctor.

I'd be ashamed to defend a doctor who by his own admission committed a criminal assault on any of his patients, no matter who they are.

Her being racist doesn’t make what he did okay. I can’t believe you’d argue that it does.

The lack of respect for people’s bodies is a worrying strand in the health professions. See also that guy that carved his initial on someone’s liver.

I found it more amazing and despicable that a person in that much pain with a real dependency in the skills and kindness of the people helping her would chose that moment to racially abuse them.

I thought the book was wonderful. It of course does describe some extremely emotional situations from the point of view of an overworked, exhausted consultant and therefore doesn't centre the narrative around the woman and her experience, but I didn't feel he was 'othering' patients at all. As Fenella says, he refers to a specific type of person who would have a (good grief!) laminated nine page birth plan with very specific requests that they expect to be adhered to during an unpredictable process. I didn't read it as him dismissing birth plans being used the way most people use them - to allow women to make informed choices about their care while they're giving birth.

I remember the c section bit and honestly I just thought 'meh'. The patient was nasty and he did something spiteful in anger. He didn't behave well but surely there is no ethical obligation to try to preserve tattoos anyway.

I'd be willing to bet money that all up and down the country you will get better, more gentle, treatment from doctors and nurses if you aren't abusive to them. Because they are only human and sometimes they reach breaking point.

I don't expect perfection or emotionlessness. I do expect doctors not to assault their patients.

But perhaps this is too much to expect...given the not-too-distant history of medical students being lined up to perform vaginal exams on unconscious women without their consent.

As for birth plans, no one ever asked me for my opinion on how my children should be delivered. It was just a case of 'this is what we're going to do'. Might have been nice to have been included.