To have hated ‘This is going to hurt’ by Adam Kay?

[SweetMelodies]

Just that really. So many recommendations to read it from others, it seems to have so much praise and is a number 1 seller.

I like to think I have a good sense of humour and sometimes a pretty dark one at that but I just found the book absolutely dripping in misogyny. Sure it IS well-written and he is obviously a very talented writer and some bits were indeed funny... but a lot of it really turned my stomach, the language, the way he speaks about women, his really narrow-minded attitude towards birth that isn’t evidence-based at all, just based the very limited picture of birth he has. He clearly puts the women in a category of ‘other’ and ‘less than’.

I did feel terrible for him having experienced the dreadful situation at the end and it did highlight how overworked drs can be... but at the same time I think the language and attitudes displayed in it really summarised the paternal and disrespectful attitudes in the maternity system that lead to so many women traumatised by childbirth.

Despite this I appear to be completely alone in this way of thinking, did anyone else not get a great feel from this (or parts of this) book?

I absolutely loved it. Didn’t get any misogynistic vibes at all and would certainly describe myself as a feminist. I found it both hilarious and desperately sad. I loved his writing style - gallows humour at its best.

YANBU to have hated it- we all have different tastes & opinions when it comes to books etc

Many people thoroughly enjoyed it, including myself- I read it last year while heavily pregnant!

Personally, I don't recognise the things you have written about- it feels as if you're talking about a completely different book!

The c section story is when a very racist women is having a c section and she has a dolphin tattoo that he could avoid or he can slightly stuff up the incision and stitching and ruin the tattoo. So he ruins it in revenge on her for her awful behaviour.

That's no excuse. He still broke the Hippocratic oath. Doctors shouldn't be "taking revenge", even on racist patients.

I've just read it on holiday and absolutely loved it. And didn't feel any sense of misogyny at all.
Really thought it was brilliant, and howled with laughter at much of it.

Am off to dig this book out now, wondering whether I completely missed the point somewhere along the way!

I didn't want to read it as it was so hyped up but I actually loved it

I did not feel any misogyny in the book, but I felt that his "class" observations sounded quite fake and were probably inserted on demand from the publisher, for the book to appeal to wider audience.
He went to Dulwich College (and his siblings went to similarly expensive schools), but he seems to be theatrically surprised on hearing that someone has a holiday home in France, speaks with a "posh" accent or drives a Bentley.

Think I might read it again

I thought it was excellent (and struggling to get into any books at the moment - it was an easy read as in easy to follow not the subject matter)

"his really narrow-minded attitude towards birth that isn’t evidence-based at all, just based the very limited picture of birth he has."

You are entitled to your opinion, but the man was a practicing obstetrician and gynaecologist for a number of years. I believe that gives him a qualified perspective as an expert. Just because you didn't like it doesn't mean it was narrow or just his own experience as a lay person.

I did find it a bit curious that he was with ‘H’ in the book, who is apparently a woman, but is now married to a bloke. Perhaps he’s just bi though and there’s nothing more to it.

You need to explain what you are trying to infer here. What “more to it” do you mean?

I never got the impression that H was female. Has he stated that in a press interview or something? I got the impression that he purposefully avoided using gendering pronouns in order to not lie about his sexuality, but also to ensure that it was not a focus of his narrative in the book.

H’s sex is not stated anywhere in the book.

I was fairly certain H was male

It’s surprising that in such a litigious society women are so wedded to their birth plans, to the extent they want them to over ride clinical expertise. “Suing the arse” off a hospital has already been mentioned. If a birth plan was followed against medical advice, I bet its owner would be the first to sue if her baby died or was damaged. Why would an obstetrician religiously follow a birth plan when they knew it would result in damage and possible death to either of their patients?

I didn’t assume H was either sex in particular. From the ‘misogyny cos gay’ bollocks springing up on this thread I’m not surprised he didn’t specify. Are some people really so homophobic they think that, still?

“ Are some people really so homophobic they think that, still?“ Yes. Which is why I said earlier that I was sorry his sexuality had been mentioned.

“his really narrow-minded attitude towards birth that isn’t evidence-based at all, just based the very limited picture of birth he has."

Once again. This is a diary, not a manifesto of best practice.

I saw that Bertrand. Didn’t have long to wait until the first homophobic slur. I see that has been deleted, hope the rest are too.

The quote above (which the poster intended as a positive example) actually illustrates one of the issues: he describes the mother in the anecdote as “a dream” (patronising IMO!) because she was calm and compliant.

And the tattoo example was an abuse of power.

Am going to dig it out to remind myself why I disliked his tone and attitude so much.

Am well used to and enjoy “gallows humour” but like the OP reacted very negatively to this book.

I'm as feminist as they come and didn't pick up on any misogyny....and I've generally got a good radar for things like that.

I really enjoyed it and liked his matter of fact approach. I got the feeling that his approach to his work wasn't a specific to women and had he chosen to specialise in a different area his attitude and approach would be the same towards men and women.

OP, you're entitled to feel however you want, but some of your posts come over as excessively sensitive.

Mainly the one where you objected to HCPs stating that they "consented the patient". It's simply a phrase that describes the HCP having explained the risks and benefits and established valid consent.

There's nothing patriarchal in it and I think you're really misinterpreting the use of totally harmless language.

As before, I haven't read the book but I wouldn't interpret 'mum was a dream' as male power.

If you are in a procedural specialty in a high stress situation some patients really help you out by being amazing while you are getting on with your stuff and trying not to brick it, and you can't believe where they get it from - that's all I would have taken it to mean.

I can remember telling a patient 'yes this happens all the time' while getting someone to press the emergency buzzer because it had never ever happened to me before and I hadn't a fucking clue what I was going to do next - they were a dream and we saw it through.

While others make out like it is the sinking of Titanic over the least thing. When you see a lot of unimagineable shit, and you start to get burnt out, you do get bitter.

It's interesting that the partner H is mentioned on this thread- I don't think I really gave it any thought whether H was male or female, it didn't impact on the book and the story being told- irrelevant really.

I think I took it more as a reflection about how the author's job was impacting on every corner of his life, including personal relationships etc especially when he stayed very late at work, did night shifts or weekends etc

I'm really very surprised at some of the posts on this thread, and the claims of misogyny by the author

I think doctors do tend to have black humour and it's not something out of the ordinary in the medical profession

Perhaps this has not come across well for readers who are not familiar with this sort of humour etc

I do accept that the subject of obstetrics/gynaecology can evoke very strong emotions and feelings, especially when the person concerned has perhaps had a negative experience whilst giving birth/being treated for gynae related issues