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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be bothered by this?

71 replies

IWantAPetElephant · 24/08/2019 15:16

I know I am and I know this is going to come across as really judgemental Blush

I'm seeing someone new, only been a few weeks. We went to the cinema last night, had gallery tickets where the drinks, popcorn etc are included so realise he was probably just taking advantage of that.... but he ate 3 boxes of popcorn during the film. Is this a lot?

I was waiting to have a bit of a cuddle watching the film but couldn't because it was non-stop eating all the way through.

I don't even really know what I was bothered about, he's overweight and that doesn't bother me at all. I find him really attractive but it just seems mindless and greedy to eat that much during a 2 hour film.

AIBU to feel a bit put off by it? disclaimer I already know I am

OP posts:
SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum · 24/08/2019 15:18

Oh I dunno.

It does sound very off-putting.

AnneLovesGilbert · 24/08/2019 15:21

You feel how you feel 🤷‍♀️

You don’t have to see him again if you don’t want to.

dollydaydream114 · 24/08/2019 15:43

First of all, despite saying you don’t mind him being overweight, there is clearly a part of you that does, or you wouldn’t have felt the need to mention it. Your distaste at (what you perceive to be) his overeating is clearly linked on some level with his weight, in your head. I don’t think I’ve ever in my life actually noticed how much anyone else has ever eaten at the cinema.

Ultimately if a thing like this bothers you already and you’ve only just started seeing him, it feels like a bad sign to me, but only you know how big a thing it is to you and whether it’s a dealbreaker. What I would say, though, is that there is absolutely point in continuing with the relationship thinking you’ll be able to change his eating habits by pulling him up on overeating, because that will honestly just make both of you miserable.

Original poster
IWantAPetElephant · 24/08/2019 16:01

@dollydaydream114 I wouldn’t dream of trying to change his eating habits and wouldn’t mention anything to him about it. I only noticed because like I said I was waiting to have a bit of a cuddle but he ate non stop so there wasn’t a chance - I would have had to take the box off him so he could put an arm round me and I wasn’t going to do that Wink

I don’t think it’s even the amount that bothers me, it’s just that in 2 hours to eat non stop seems a lot but I don’t really know. Maybe I was just more bothered that he was more interested in the food than me Blush

OP posts:
BlankTimes · 24/08/2019 16:02

How did you hear any of the film with the constant rattle, crunch and slurp going on?

It's the mindless greed that would put me off too. Sad

GrandmaSteglitszch · 24/08/2019 16:05

Maybe he is very literal minded and thought he was there to see a film and take advantage of the available snacks, and thought you'd be doing that too.
Does he usually show affection to you?

Ohyesiam · 24/08/2019 16:07

You set your head agenda when you are choosing anything, including a bf.

BogglesGoggles · 24/08/2019 16:09

That would put me off too. Just seems really greedy, regardless of whether the person in question is morbidly obese or stick thin.

RandomMess · 24/08/2019 16:09

It makes him sound Scrooge like, got to make the most of the all inclusive, I couldn't bear that attitude tbh.

happinessischocolate · 24/08/2019 16:21

Yes he was taking advantage of that fact that it was free and was being greedy but come on.....free popcorn at the cinema 😁 I think he did well to only eat 3

I get popcorn and it's gone before the film starts, I try not to but it too moreish

YABU to expect a cuddle, how the fuck can you have a cuddle in cinema seats, which are designed to separate you from the person next to you

HTH Grin

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 24/08/2019 16:24

The chomping alone would have given me the rage.

Original poster
IWantAPetElephant · 24/08/2019 16:27

@happinessischocolate the gallery seats have a arm rest that can be put up so it’s more like a sofa than two separate chairs, so not that unreasonable on that point Wink

He did say he would usually eat a box before the film starts and was trying to be restrained because it was our first cinema date... then went on to eat 3 boxes so I was a bit Shock

OP posts:
Lifeisabeach09 · 24/08/2019 16:28

Maybe he missed dinner.Grin
Were they big containers?

HalfDeadHousePlant · 24/08/2019 16:30

Grown ups cuddle in the cinema? That would annoy me way more than popcorn munching.

Floralnomad · 24/08/2019 16:33

Well at least you know now why he is overweight , it would put me off if somebody ate for the entire film as it's just greedy ,

AE18 · 24/08/2019 16:33

I can honestly say if my partner (long term) did this I wouldn't bat an eye and would probably laugh at him for it, but yeah I guess when you're dating you're expected to be making a special effort to give something back and be attentive, it's all part of getting to know each other. That's hard enough at the cinema as it is, as you're technically supposed to just sit silently next to each other, and I do think different people are raised with different expectations on what you're allowed to do there. Some people bring loud snacks and others would never dream of doing that, some people check their phones during the film and others don't, some people cuddle and others just expect to be quiet and watch the film. I like a cuddle but I do genuinely feel quite awkward if I go with someone that wants to talk/be a bit of a nuisance throughout. He might have grown up with strictly no talking/canoodling rules.

But ultimately, if it put you off, maybe you're not that into him/get the vibe he's not that into you.

KUGA · 24/08/2019 16:40

Maybe nervous ?.
But too greedy tbf.
Whatever you do dont take him for an all you can eat Chinese/Indian buffet meal. The poor folk will be bankrupt and thats before he sits down.

Aprillygirl · 24/08/2019 16:54

I mean his weight was probably a bit of a giveaway that he likes his grub, and the popcorn was free so I don't really blame him for getting a bit carried away. You sound like you were jealous of the popcorn OP?Wink

MrsGrindah · 24/08/2019 16:59

I think you are disappointed that he wasn’t more attentive to you . You were looking for romance ( the phrase “bit of a cuddle “ made me wince though!) whilst he was just thinking it was a film with free popcorn. Don’t overthink it.

MaisieDaisy1 · 24/08/2019 17:05

What film did you go and see. I went to see Once apon a time in Hollywood. It was so appalling that eating non stop was the only way I could get through it. I’ve no idea why you’d want to cuddle in the cinema. Totally impractical. You sound a bit high maintenance 😉

PooWillyBumBum · 24/08/2019 17:10

Eurgh that would put me off. I find it so unattractive when my (slim, for what it’s worth) DH inhales food. It’s just grim.

Lipz · 24/08/2019 17:18

How big were the boxes? I think now if it were dh I'd eat it with him lol but if only dating I'd be a bit put off, not sure why I'd accept it when we're married. Our cinemas do a small medium large extra large and family bucket, what amount did he eat ? His weight isn't from popcorn, would it be you don't like his eating habits full stop ? I suppose If it's included he was making the most of it, I do the same when a free bar :)

MoaningMinnie1 · 24/08/2019 17:30

He sounds revolting! Quite a glutton.

Original poster
IWantAPetElephant · 24/08/2019 17:35

They were probably around medium size boxes.

His eating habits otherwise don’t bother me at all, when he has a large portion of anything else I don’t really pay attention or think anything of it. I’m not sure why that particular time has bothered me a bit. Obviously I’ve known he’s overweight so would be likely to eat more, I think it was just because it was non stop for so long. I found myself getting a bit distracted from the film wondering when he was going to stop eating.

Apologies for saying bit of a cuddle Wink it’s early days for us dating so I was wanting it to feel a bit more date like then just sitting next to each other watching a film.

OP posts:
AlexaAmbidextra · 24/08/2019 18:23

Missing the point completely but it wouldn’t occur to me to expect a cuddle at the cinema.

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