Is my dh a skinflint or aibu ? ( lighthearted)

[username678889]

Off out to a bbq later , told just to bring whatever alcohol consuming, food will be provided.
Dh drives me mad as only ever wants to bring a couple of beers , and will probably end up drink 3 times what he brings as it will go on to the evening. I said you should bring enough to drink I said it's unreasonable to bring a couple of beers and drink the hosts . My dh thinks differently and said host should provide who's right ?
Dh has got all arsey with me now for calling him stingy.
For what it's worth dh would be annoyed if someone arrived to our bbq with no or hardly any drink and proceed to spend the evening drinking our alcohol. I'd hate to think that others would call us skinflints.

SO tight. I agree that being tight is one of the worst traits a person can have. I couldn't ve with someone who was tight.

You take what you're going to drink and then add extra for the other guests/hosts.

Actually it is considered rude to bring alcohol to drink at a hosts dinner party.

No it's not when it has been specifically requested. told just to bring whatever alcohol consuming, food will be provided.

Does he not see the cost of providing all the guests with food?

I don’t know if you’re being deliberately obtuse or not.

His selfishness and entitled selfishness will not be limited to bloody barbecues.

It will pervade every aspect of his attitude and behaviours towards other people.

There’s double meaning if the word ‘mean’, I’m betting both could be applied to your husband.

You can’t camouflage it all of the time.

I hate it when people do this!!! I had a bbq not long ago and made it clear that all alcohol was provided but I've just been to a hen weekend where no one brought anything to drink apart from me and then they'll all sat there drinking mine! Drives me insane

He's definitely a cf and one with double standards. I'd definitely take double what he wanted too it's very poor manners to drink what others have brought when it's a byo.
Last year I held a big bbq and told everyone byo as I don't drink alcohol or keep it in the house. One family turned up with nothing and the husband (of my friend) started to complain that I'd run out of beer (they were the first to arrive) I pointed him in the direction of the off-licence and he came back and asked me for the money I just laughed at him. My lovely friend ( his wife) was mortified, especially when others started arriving with lots of stuff and he kept telling them all that I'd made him go and buy his own beer. Everyone else just looks at him strangely...don't let your husband be that man

he came back and asked me for the money...he kept telling them all that I'd made him go and buy his own beer. Everyone else just looks at him strangely

OMFG! Who RAISED these people!!!

Good for you for laughing at him though, perfect response...

@BlockedAndDeleted your getting on my nerves now .
Everyone else thank you , I'm off out to said bbq now .
Don't worry dh has plenty of beers .

Nah, I think I’ve HIT a nerve.

If they had said they were provided I would've taken a bottle of wine for them. As they have specifically said it is BYOB then you take enough to drink all evening PLUS a bottle for the host. If you're being polite.

They've spend enough putting food on for everyone I wouldn't expect them to spend a couple of hundred providing both food and drink for a casual BBQ.

People notice this kind of thing (how many posts are there about CF guests?!) and as a pp said you will both start to be left off invite lists if he continues to do this. Either that or friends will be quietly resentful of him. Neither being good for your friendships!

Tell him to stop being a tightarse and/or make sure you bring enough to make up for his lack of bringing stuff. If it comes out of a joint account anyway it doesn't make a difference - any you shouldn't have to but better than being embarrassed by him.

@username678889 it's not a dinner party, it's a BYOB BBQ.

Show him up.

Let him take his 2 beers and when he has drunk them, say loudly 'You have drunk your two beers, it is time to go home now'.

I can't abide scroungers.

I agree with BlockedAndDeleted's post.

This chap will not just be stingy with the drink, there'll be other stuff too.

I’ve never been invited to anything where I’ve specifically been told to bring what I’ll drink so I reckon your hosts have just said this to you two as he has form for drinking people dry and arriving almost empty handed.
I’d generally bring 2-3 things. Last weekend at friends we took 12 craft beers, a non alcoholic drink (one of the hosts is pregnant) and a box of chocs. I couldn’t stand to be thought of as stingy.

In my circles, you tend to end up with more booze at the end of the party than you started with as hosts - everyone brings what they'll drink, plus a bit more!

Hosts are providing food, it's just polite to bring drinks as asked (we'd often also ignore the no-food thing - especially if there'll be kids - and bring some fruit or cakes or something)

I've agreed with all posts but not the one who has tried to make it into something else .

My dh tried to only bring a couple of beers, I tell him to bring more he disagrees but we always bring more .
I bring my drink usually wine or gin and food even though it's not asked for .
I honestly wouldn't agree if he said I'm bringing 4 beers I wouldn't have people thinking that of him and me and most people know me I'm not like that .
He is a tight sod yes I agree but it was lighthearted so please no need to be personal .
I do appreciate the response even negative as I'd be surprised if you thought I was bu .
I really need to go out now but just wanted to add that before I went .

He's not normally so skinflint I think he does thing that the hosts should provide.

Unless he is the one doing the hosting He is mean, greedy and rude, all qualities I personally can't abide in a person. I'm sure you will get fed of it too eventually OP, but in the meantime you'll just have to do the decent thing for him I suppose.

BlockedandDeleted, you're haranguing the OP, just in case you didn't realise?

Username, I do understand what you're saying. Your husband would, left to his own devices, take two cans of beer and drink them both. You don't let that happen, you take extras so that your friends aren't aware of how miserly and ungracious he is as a guest.

You're fed up with it. I would be too. I also understand you trying to laugh it off. I couldn't. It's grating to be with somebody who is so diametrically opposed in viewpoint to you on things that matter to you. Hence the thread I guess?

I wouldn't be laughing it off with DH, I'd be telling him straight how my estimation of him has gone down on this particular point and that no, you won't be bringing only 2 cans so he can shut up about that - or stay at home.

I’m expressing my take on her situation which she posted on AIBU- she may not like it cos the truth hurts innit?

At least one other poster agrees with me.

I’ve broken no talk guidelines and it’s definitely not your place to censor or police me.

Truth be told, I’ve held back but we ll willing elaborate if goaded further.

Post what you like, Blocked but do it on a public chatboard and just as you have the right to post like a mean girl, I can tell you that you're dong it.

Nobody's 'goading you' to post either.

No, you’ve told me what your opinion is, not what I’m doing.

You’re not the the arbitrator of Mumsnet love.

'm a beer drinker. My rule is i bring what i would drink plus 50% so would take 8 to 12 cans to a bbq.
You would drink 6-8 beers at a bbq? Do you realise you have issue with alcohol ?

I went to a party once where a bloke brought 4 beers and took 2 home!

He is tight. Simple as that

You would drink 6-8 beers at a bbq? Do you realise you have issue with alcohol ?

Ffs. 🙄

Took 2 bottles of wine to a party once , one for me one as a gift for the host. I had a couple of small glasses and the the well known CF managed to drink the rest of the two bottles and anyone else's wine she could find. Needless to say she had brought none of her own alcohol and it was the last straw for everyone.

The party ended rather abruptly as it was only about 9.30 and no-one had any drink left whilst the CF was falling about blind drunk. The host had been generous with the food so hadn't provided extra alcohol which was fair enough. A few of us escaped to the pub, CF OH had to pick her up and she was never invited again. (Except once where she was told she had to bring wine so didn't bother turning up.)