Is my dh a skinflint or aibu ? ( lighthearted)

[username678889]

Off out to a bbq later , told just to bring whatever alcohol consuming, food will be provided.
Dh drives me mad as only ever wants to bring a couple of beers , and will probably end up drink 3 times what he brings as it will go on to the evening. I said you should bring enough to drink I said it's unreasonable to bring a couple of beers and drink the hosts . My dh thinks differently and said host should provide who's right ?
Dh has got all arsey with me now for calling him stingy.
For what it's worth dh would be annoyed if someone arrived to our bbq with no or hardly any drink and proceed to spend the evening drinking our alcohol. I'd hate to think that others would call us skinflints.

Hahahaha laughing so hard at the idea the hosts should be matching the wine to the food. It's a BBQ 😂🤣🤣 what wine would you recommend for charred sausages??

Op you are 100% right. His behaviour is embarrassing and I guarantee your friends have already clocked it and the specific message telling people to bring their own alcohol is aimed at him. Most people don't need telling. We have someone like this in our circle of friends and we have to make it explicit....we've even taken her to the shop!

Just trying to point out that's it not always considered rude/tight - In fact quite the opposite

You said it is considered rude to bring alcohol to drink at a hosts dinner party. Unless they've asked you*”

1. by your own rule, this didn’t apply here

1. Your take on this, is just that, your own, you did not acknowledge this at all - your patronising use of the word ‘actually’ implies you are ‘correcting’ a mistake.

1. It certainly doesn’t adhere to my standards of social etiquette, quite the opposite in fact.

I don't drink but would always bring soft drinks and extra booze for the host. He is taking the piss.

I guarantee your friends have already clocked it and the specific message telling people to bring their own alcohol is aimed at him.

Yes! Of course, it definitely is.

I guarantee your friends have already clocked it and the specific message telling people to bring their own alcohol is aimed at him.

Ha! Yes.

That’s tight

Even more so when you say you don’t invite people back to yours if they do that....

Please tell me he’s not one of those people who take two beers, stash them somewhere, drink all the hosts drinks then finds the 2 beers he brought and takes them home with him at the end of the evening 😬

LOL @ host should provide except when the host is him! I always say something to people like this, but the reason CFers get away with it is because others don't. 'Oi, you drank your two beers! It's BYOB! Get to the offie or it's tap water for you!'

Oh my god-you will be known as the tight fuckers and there is nothing worse. People will speak of it in hushed tones forever. Once the tight fucker label is given, it’s nigh on impossible to shake off. Your hosts have probs cleaned their house top to bottom, have definitely shopped and put effort in to welcoming you - they will also have to clean up the aftermath ... Yes, I know they will have done/will do this all willingly but a bit of appreciation does not go amiss. Urgh- I’d be ashamed to be married to ‘tight two cans’.

Host should not have to provide alcohol and have clearly stated to bring your own. Glad you can understand that concept and will bring enough. However I wouldnt let him see how much you bring and after his first 2 beers hand him a pint of tap water and tell him he's had his lot

I realise I've not been clear , he only ever wants to bring a few ie a gesture he calls it but I say no and bring more . It's just ever time we have this conversation argument.

He'd get nowhere at mine then.

I don't drink beer - I used to provide some but when that all went as well as every drop that others brought (because they always drank more than they planned on - and went and bought more when we ran out) I've stopped buying any.

I provide soft drinks and a couple of bottles of wine and that's it. The food costs me enough.

Hes been very tight you need to take more than enough for you both for the night. If he takes 2 cans people are going to be laughing at him, calling him a tight arse behind his back and slagging him off to all and sundry. Does he want that?

I realise I've not been clear

Yes, you have. And you’re already in the role of the apologist.

And I always bring more than enough for me and some . It's my dh wanting to bring small amount of beer is the issue .
If it wasn't for me they would call my dh those names not me .
Also I did say lightheaded even though I agree with the majority of comments.

I realise I've not been clear , he only ever wants to bring a few ie a gesture he calls it but I say no and bring more

What makes you think you weren’t clear?

Hosts said explicitly to bring the booze you want to drink.

They don’t want a “gesture”! A “gesture” is for when they’ve said “No need to bring anything” and you decide to add something as a gift for them.

He is tight as fuck.

Nothing lighthearted about a tight arse.

Tight as a duck’s arse. Meanness is such a horrible trait.

Tell you what, I think you should conduct this poll at the BBQ. Suggest to DH that you ask around all your friends and the hosts - what is the correct etiquette because you and DH just never agree...

Bet you an extra 6-pack if beer he’s not keen on defending his position in general conversation.

What makes you think you weren’t clear?

Just the fact dh has never brought 2 beers to a bbq he would he just hasn't as I've said no dh stop being a tight git .
I'm not apologising for him at all quite the opposite , I'm always quite generous in what I bring so unlikely that anyone realises how tight he is unless I've mentioned it .

Tight as a duck’s arse.

Actually it is considered rude to bring alcohol to drink at a hosts dinner party.

Not these days. Unless of course you’ve been invited to a state banquet at Buckingham Palace.

unlikely that anyone realises how tight he is unless I've mentioned it

Pretty sure you’re kidding yourself tbh. But we see what we want to see I guess...

Wow... that is just wrong. Your dh is vu here. He should bring enough for himself ANd some for the host. Not bring too little and then drink theirs

He is totally tight and people will have noticed!
I dont drink, but will always take a bottle of wine, my oh will maybe have 2 lagers, if that, but will take a case and of course a couple of bottles of soft drinks, even though I will mainly drink water.
It's really rude to take just about as much or less than you drink.
Feel bad for you.

They may notice if he rocked up with a couple of beers .
Maybe I'll do that one day so he realise.
But no I wouldn't I always take more than enough .