To think labour can’t be THAT bad?

[Bumpingbumping]

Potentially being extremely naive, and of course this is excluding exceptional circumstances/emergency situations.

But aibu to think labour can’t be as horrific as people make out? I’ll be giving birth in 10 days time following an induction and everybody keeps asking me if I’m terrified and telling me how awful it will be.

Surely if it was THAT bad people just wouldn’t do it? Or would opt for a c section?

Again, feel free to hit me with the facts because I’m possibly being naive. But does anyone have any nice birth stories? Particularly following an induction?

Elc might not be pain free, each experience different I had burning pain on scar sight etc as previously said seemed to be in worse way than others with emergency section. On my research though I preferred pain in scar above privates. After vag delivery in spite of no stitches I was massively grazed down below, couldn't go to toilet, made myself dehydrated due to not wanting to drink, couldn't even shower myself down there due to the pain. That lasted about two weeks. So pain in scar at least didn't interfere with loo access.

The ancient Hebrews lived in a society afflicted by war, famine and natural disasters, with no effective medicine or dentistry. They took one look at childbirth and said “wow! Women must have done something really terrible to have been punished with that”.

I thought the same and the absolute shock of the pain contributed to the complications I had in my first labour, I'm sure. Second time round I was prepared.

I was induced.
Obviously it's very painful but not as bad as what people say.
My baby was back to back, pushed for 3 hours with an hours break in between. Had a few stitches but I'd do it all again tomorrow if I could haha

My 1st labour was 2 and a half days.

I don't know anyone who has had a really long labour say it was fine. Maybe if I'd had an 8 hour labour I would have been able to manage.

It is out of your hands despite what some people might say. It is also unpredictable.

I had two EMCS so haven't pushed out a baby but I found the contractions pretty excruciating and I 'only' got to 4cm.

Fairydust I think the fact that yours was only 3 hours may have made a difference.

OP imaging someone breaking your legs with a sledge hammer. Bad but you know you would recover eventually. Now imagine someone breaking your legs over and over every 2 mins for 28hrs. Bit less bearable?

Two very different births here. I was induced with son1 and in labour for 27 hours constantly monitored. It was horrific. Was given a morphine type drug which made me throw up big style.
The interventions were on a massive scale and I ended up with a ventouse delivery. My first thoughts were....never ever again.
I lost 1 litre of blood after the birth. Recovery was quick and I was up and about eating, drinking, had a shower and even put my make up on.
Son2’s birth was text book. I was obviously very very frightened because of my experience of my first birth.....but there was only 7 hours from waters going to delivery. Just gas and air. Moving about and had music. Bloody great. Tea and toast afterwards and showered. My other half was utterly amazed by the different birth. I was in control. I told the medical staff what I was doing. I wrote a birth plan. Lead midwife read, re read, and continuously read through my notes throughout labour. Bloody great woman! I did not approve of induction or further intervention. The medical staff were a bit taken aback, but I stood up for me and my baby. What I wanted, not them. My body knew what to do, and I trusted myself and the process. Nature at its finest. Greatest achievement. Women are warriors. It’s the unknown more than anything. You survive. You thrive. Sure, you won’t be the same person after an experience like birth, how could you be? Yes, a bit battered and bruised, but a warrior who heals nevertheless.
Believe me when I say this. If you can give birth, you CAN DO ANYTHING. It’s one hell of an achievement.

Its definitely bad. And if you have a long labour its even worse as youll be exhausted plus in bad pain

Of course its it's not so bad... but bad enough for me to pay for a private c section and never do it again!

Obviously it's very painful but not as bad as what people say.

What? What you mean is you didn’t find it that bad. You don’t have a clue how other women found it so don’t be obtuse.

Obviously it's very painful but not as bad as what people say.

You can’t say that. You can’t tell anyone else how to feel about their births.

My body knew what to do, and I trusted myself and the process. Nature at its finest. Greatest achievement. Women are warriors. It’s the unknown more than anything. You survive. You thrive. Sure, you won’t be the same person after an experience like birth, how could you be? Yes, a bit battered and bruised, but a warrior who heals nevertheless.

Well, good for you, obviously, but that 'women are warriors' and 'birth is war' stuff has strictly limited usefulness and applicability. You were lucky, is all. I prepared, relaxed and trusted my body, and DS still got the umbilical cord wound around his neck, and neither of us would have survived to be 'warriors who heal' without the wonderful resources of modern surgery, for which I was and remain enormously grateful.

My first was a breeze, though it took ages to get properly started. First twinges at 9am, didn't have him till 4am. Tens machine till about 1am, then Tens and gas and air. Home and put the washing machine on 11hours after giving birth.

Second time round I was using the Tens machine again, but was all happening more quickly. I was getting tired and asked for gas and air. Baby was born 20 mins later; if I'd realised I was so close I'd not have bothered with the gas and air.

Third time, thought I'd be fine with just the Tens, but needed gas and air for the last bit.

I bloody deserved those easy births! Horrible pregnancies, still having morning sickness till the 7th or 8th month. The sort of vomitting in which you throw up so hard you wet yourself. Couldn't cope with sweet or flowery smells; if someone got on the bus wearing perfume I had to get off and wait for the next bus. Nine months of wretched misery followed by walk in the park labours!

Every labour is different. It could be manageable, it could feel like you are being consumed by a giant poo that wants to come out but can’t despite all the pushing.

Some people describe it as period pains. Some people think they must surely be dying because how can the body deal with such pain. Some recover quickly and host a family party the same day, some take months to recover and choose not to have another child because they found the experience terrifying.

Induction tends to make contractions more painful more quickly.

Good luck. I hope you get your not so painful birth and that you feel able to come back and tell us about it.

"you survive".. well, maternal and/or baby deaths are happening every day of the week in the UK, worse levels in some other countries, in others better.

So "you survive" isn't a fat lot of use as a phrase to the families left behind.

Personally, both me and my baby would be dead if we had bought into that warrior women BS. Some bodies are meant to due out in evolution. I get a bit precious about sayings like "you survive" when it's my own body or the body of my little one!

• meant to die out

@GloriousMystery.....er......birth is war? Where was that?
My first birth was utterly horrible. Forgot to add all the stitches too.....I ain’t some hippy earth mother FFS 🤬

My first was bad enough that I had an elective section for my second

It is grueling, but that first cuddle with a new baby can make it immediately better. With all three I recall that first cuddle clear as day and thought "it is you." Because you know your baby, but you haven't met yet. Birth is brutal, but totally worth it.

It really boils my piss when people say "oooh, its not that bad; the stitches are worse", or "it's like period pain" or even better, "it's surges, not pain." Just fuck the fuck off. Every birth is different.

I had one easy peasy, no pain relief, four-hour labour where yes, the stitches were worse than the contractions.
But I also had one hideous, long, back to back labour which was so excruciatingly hideous that I would've gladly shot myself in the head to end it. I'm no wimp. I run mountain marathons for fun. But that labour was absolutely unbearable and beyond any pain I could've previously imagined. It was sort of like someone was trying to break my spine, from the inside, with a massive blunt boulder. For two days. With no gaps to take a breath.

Not saying this to scare you, OP. But labour can be awful. Or it can be fine. And IME prep has little to do with it - I did hypnobirthing and yoga before my awful labour, and nothing before the easy one!

Ooh no it is painful. I was fully committed to hypnobirthing with my first. I did everything I was taught and he was born in the water. Textbook...
BUT the contractions surges were so painful and tedious and required so much endurance.
Thankfully you don't care after when you get your scrummy baby. It's all completely worth it.

With my second I had an epidural and it was bliss. I really enjoyed not being in pain. And I still got my lovely baby in the end...

I gave birth twice - second time no epidural and an induction. It felt like my insides / cervix / vagina were been pushed open by a vice. But it was all over very quickly and obviously daughter was worth it. If I was having another I would be insisting on a epidural.

Best thing to do is to keep telling yourself that it’s what your body is designed to do, and that if things go beyond that, it’s what the medical team is designed to deal with

Yes don't forget it is your body and your own muscles causing that pain. That's how strong you are. Short breaths in and long breaths out. Accept that you will feel like you are losing control at some points but that's when you need your partner to speak for you and keep you calm. Having said all that it's all the luck of the draw. Some babies come out the right way and some are little bastards. Don't be a martyr. Women used to die doing this all the time. Yet somehow with all modern medicine has to offer we insist on 'being natural'. Like we need another stick to beat ourselves with.

My Labour was so long and awful that I was in absolutely no state to appreciate the first cuddle with my new baby. Still in shock, exhaustion and drugged up.

I was totally unprepared for how awful it was and didn't find the midwives any use whatsoever, they just made it all worse. It's like we are giving birth in the dark ages still.