To think labour can’t be THAT bad?

[Bumpingbumping]

Potentially being extremely naive, and of course this is excluding exceptional circumstances/emergency situations.

But aibu to think labour can’t be as horrific as people make out? I’ll be giving birth in 10 days time following an induction and everybody keeps asking me if I’m terrified and telling me how awful it will be.

Surely if it was THAT bad people just wouldn’t do it? Or would opt for a c section?

Again, feel free to hit me with the facts because I’m possibly being naive. But does anyone have any nice birth stories? Particularly following an induction?

Asking for only positive birth stories is naive because it isn't how it happens in all cases.

Mine started off well, contractions every 2 mins, they thought baby would be out in 8 hours...until they realised I wasn't dilating. Put on a drip, national shortage of pain relief, 24 hours of the worst pain I will ever experience to the point of delirium....but I would do it all over again.

It's not that it isn't bad. It's just worth it.

The but between the epidural and going down for a emcs was great! The rest not so much but it varies from person to person and it's totally worth it for the baby. And the tea and toast

Every labour is different, and every person’s pain tolerance is different. Having said that, labour is objectively excruciating. The more you move, the easier it is to cope with the pain I think. I have a very high pain tolerance and thought it would probably be okay for me. It was not okay. 😬 I had my third on just two paracetamol because the doctors thought I didn’t look in enough pain to need gas and air, let alone an epidural. She was back to back. Wouldn’t recommend that.

However much you prepare, the pain is probably the worst most women will experience in their lifetime. I am very curious to read your post-labour update post.

My contractions were very painful but pushing was a breeze in comparison. I just had gas and air. I think the hardest part for me was not knowing how much longer I’d be having contractions for as I’d lost track of time. The birthing pool felt lovely and did help with the pain slightly. Everyone is different though. Good luck!

Expecting to get absolutely flamed for this comment, but everyone I know thats had a horrible/traumatic labour, did little to nothing to prepare for it

What could I have to read to help avoid my haemorrhage?

I did NCT, perineal massage, yoga and pilates and breathing techniques. All a fucking waste of time since I had to be induced due to losing blood while DD was in distress, then she nearly died when she came out. So fuck you.

It's manageable. Up until a point when you think you're going to die. Then you give birth and if you're lucky, you heal pretty quickly.

I do think that is a very naive statement though.

You can be hopeful of a positive birth experience and I think having a positive mindset helps. But also don't feel bad/disheartened if you find you need all the pain relief on offer and hate it!

I've had 3 natural births with no pain relief, the first was the worst as you get more of the burning sensation as you stretch for the first time ever to deliver the head, but I can honestly say it wasn't bad.

Yes it's not a walk in the park, but you have hormones to help counter the pain and the calmer you stay the easier it is. There's a sort of instinct that takes over and you need to just listen to your body (that sounds really hippy/far out, but it is the only way I can try to explain)

Good luck.

xxx

I'm sorry to say this but for me it was far worse pain than I'd expected. There are so many euphemisms about "surges" of "pressure" but the reality is it's just excruciating pain. I was pretty outraged at how much it had been downplayed to me. I know why people don't tell you the truth but actually that made it worse for me. With hindsight I should have asked for an epidural immediately but I stayed at home for ages then by the time I got to hospital it was too late.

It will probably be awful but it's all over quickly and the relief afterwards was incredible. I was on a high for days.

Before I had my first I thought I'd get to the point where I thought I'd want to die than have another contraction - it never got to that point

Then did it three more times (including one back to back without pain relief) - it's not a walk in the park don't get me wrong but it's doable and personally I got a huge sense of achievement afterwards (which I didn't get with the one where I had pethidine - so whether that was masked with the drugs or if you don't always get it I don't know)

I have to say I've had toothache which was far worse (and i would have quite cheerfully chucked myself out of the window if it had ended that agony

Oh, that labour! Thought you meant Labour

Each and every one different. First, sorry, bloody awful. Despite what PPs have said, I did almost instantly forget all of that as I held her, gazing, all night long. Second one, most intense pain I have experienced in my whole life, which lasted about 10 minutes (aged 40). No drugs that time, there just wasn’t time. Same delirious happiness and gazing thereafter.

Congratulations.

I always thought it depended on your pain threshold, but reading this thread it's clear that the level of pain genuinely differs hugely from birth to birth.

I found it genuinely horrific, both times. First time induced, back to back, very long, baby had cord round neck, ventouse and forceps. Second time also induced, slow start, then dilated very quickly. Both times I asked for an epidural and was refused one.

The only other pain I've had which compared was gallstones (famously agonising pain), but that was a lot shorter. Childbirth was truly fucling awful, apart from the fact that you get a baby at the end of it! Sorry OP, but you did ask...

Again thinking this was political thread

I've had three I'm a wuss when it comes to pain so if it was that bad I would have stopped at one

My mum had an easy birth.. she kept telling me not to worry and it’s not that bad..

But a month before I had my aunt chanting her horrid story st me telling me how it was like a hammer on her toe and a truck hitting her back.

When she told me I was sent into anxiety... couldn’t breath for nights and would wake up having nightmares. I started thinking she was exaggerating as my mums sounded soo much more believable with all the kids they were having.

I was forced to look into hypnobirthing due to anxiety. It was like I was traumatised by the thought and had to talk myself through it...

When I went into labour the midwife was surprised at how prepared I was and how I made it through iv induction without epidural. I wasn’t blissfully ignorant about of if drips so I kept telling myself your body is designed to do this..

It was extremely extremely painful. But extremely well managed.

In the end I was just sooo grateful that my aunt told me the bad news. I preferred to be ready and get a pleasant surprise than not be ready and get a shock..

I wish however I had read about midwives being so dismissive of patients so I could’ve prepared mentally how to handle it. I didn’t think those sort of things happen to a woman in her vulnerable state.

Don’t read horror stories about cases where things were purely unlucky in terms of outcome - baby dying or so on..

But things are are statistically part of the labour experience I think you should be well aware...

And ignorance bliss won’t help you feel good..

also read up about breastfeeding because that’s also a very bad experience for those who weren’t mentally ready.. and eventually they get shocked and are forced to give up and feel sensitive afterwards

You get great drugs!!!

Lol! Yeah. I remember thinking, "I wonder what contractions are like!?"

Five days of contractions and a c-section later...

Then some joker asked if I wanted to breastfeed....

I liken it to vomiting - your body is just doing something on its own and you just have to keep up

To me it felt like the worst period pain (I have endometriosis) and getting kicked in the coxix, like when you fall on your arse and it takes your breath away.

After my epidural it was beautifully numb, and a bit tickley

I had two relatively easy and short births. Used tens and gas and air ( fantastic stuff).

I really can't remember much if it. I sort of went into a primal state where I let my body do what it needed and I went to my happy place mental.

Nothing however prepared me for the 5 years of sleep deprivation afterwards though....

No it's not that bad. Bloody hurts but if it was that bad no one would more than one one child. This coming from a woman who's first child was back to back and was horrible birth. But l got over it and had another. I think having a good midwife and birthing partner make things a tiny bit less horrendous.

*Expecting to get absolutely flamed for this comment, but everyone I know thats had a horrible/traumatic labour, did little to nothing to prepare for it.

It seems to be the women that lose control.

I'm of the same opinion as you, OP. I dont think it will be that bad (I'm due soon!). It seems to have a lot to do with your outlook and how scared you are. I've been practicing calming breathing techniques and hypnobirthing, and feel quite calm and will hopefully manage to remain in control of the process.

I'll come back after to report, hopefully I wont be eating my words!*

I was exactly the same...then my labour took so long they were worried about DS as his heart rate was slowing so I had a C Section. Unfortunately the C Section scar got infected (and DS was born with a congenital heart defect which obviously didn't help as I spent time at his bed side after his heart op).

DH luckily took two weeks off as I couldn't walk properly until the 3rd week and even then I had to slide down the sofa to pick DS up out of his moses basket or off the floor if he was on it as I couldn't bend.

There are things you can prepare for and things you can't. The thing is that, if you think everything will be fine you can delude yourself (like I did) and when it goes wrong or a bit pear shaped it can feel like you're totally out of control. If you go with the flow you don't necessarily feel more in control, but you don't worry about it so much. As someone said earlier, getting baby out safely is the most important thing. Hypo this and water birth that is fine but don't count on it - that way you won't be disappointed and can just concentrate on the job in hand. Then enjoy your baby.

Good luck.

Fuck me....I thought I was dying. The pain is something else

OK-the bold on that comment worked well ....not!

HAHAHAHAHA

Back to back slow labour. Forceps. Episiotomy. Stitches. It was still classed as a normal birth ie non emergency which I'm thankful for but fuck me, the pain was something else.

2nd baby behaved much better. No pain relief really, a couple of puffs gas and air and out he popped. Even when he crowned (sorry) I felt the burn but wasn't too fussed.

To anyone who has never been through labour and birth talking about how they don't think it'll be that bad and it's just because women haven't 'prepared' by reading a book on hypnobirthing or practicing breathing, fuck off. Seriously. It's fucking insulting and ignorant and I hope you look back on this in a few months time and are seriously embarrassed, because you should be. Fuck me.