To think labour can’t be THAT bad?

[Bumpingbumping]

Potentially being extremely naive, and of course this is excluding exceptional circumstances/emergency situations.

But aibu to think labour can’t be as horrific as people make out? I’ll be giving birth in 10 days time following an induction and everybody keeps asking me if I’m terrified and telling me how awful it will be.

Surely if it was THAT bad people just wouldn’t do it? Or would opt for a c section?

Again, feel free to hit me with the facts because I’m possibly being naive. But does anyone have any nice birth stories? Particularly following an induction?

What panicked me was how much the contractions hurt the first time round, I had got the impression it was like full-on period pain. Nope, it was all in my back, like a boulder grinding against my spine on the inside. The pushing out bit didn't hurt much at all, it was the contractions that floored me. But as I say, the epidural was great. I was also worried that labour was going to be 24 hours or something. Once I knew second time around that it was only likely to be a few hours, and I knew what to expect with contractions, it didn't seem too bad.

The breathing technique is to imagine a dial, a speedometer or similar, with a lightweight pointer. When the pain comes and the pointer moves up the scale, you take deep breaths slowly and strongly out and blow the pointer back down the scale again. Also if you are breathing properly you can get the most out of the gas and air.

@WhatNoNotYouAgain It's not just you. I love DD to pieces but I'll be so happy (I think/hope) when she's in nursery and weaned from the boob and I can go back to work and get some balance/space from the tedium and repetitiveness. And hopefully the space will heal the anxiety? Certainly some sleep would help. But the terror is ever-present and the joy is fleeting.

(Despite all this and the horrific labour I also think I want to do it again?! But had I known in advance, yeah, I think I wouldn't have done it. Then again, I was MISERABLE until I got pregnant, so who knows?)

burritofan

He's 3.5, in nursery and sleeps like a dream so I don't think I can blame sleeplessness sadly!!

I hand two easy labours, both spontaneous, one last from show to birth 3 hours,, the second from show to birth 1 hour 40. I used gas and air.

For me toothache and earache is far worse than labour.

HOWEVER, I was lucky! I do not, nor would I ever, play down labour, and say ‘it’s easy’. Because even though it was for me, for millions others it is not. It’s individual. It is what it is. For some, it’s such an horrendous experience that they will not repeat it. For most it is extremely painful, but they happily do it again. But what I will say is that during it, not matter how painful, you know you are bringing your baby into the world, and that’s what keeps women going.

Labour is horrific. I have had 4 kids. All natural no pain relief. 2 were induced and were the worst pain but quickest. The after pains get worse with every child if you are breastfeeding. It's like labour all over again when you feed for about 3 days. That had me In tears. The pushing doesn't hurt it's actually relief to push when you have a contraction.

My advice...stay as calm as you possibly can. It actually makes the worl of difference. It will make the labour easier and the baby less distressed. And if there are complications if you can stay as calm as you can you can communicate your wants and needs easier.

The pushing doesn't hurt it's actually relief to push when you have a contraction.

My mum has had four too and says the pushing was agony and the contractions were fine. Goes to show doesn't it!

@HJWT 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
I told my partner when he asked how bad it was that I would rather saw my own arm off 😂
Oh the joys lol x

Look at the positive birth.movement, hypnobirthing . There are plenty of positive stories out there. I had a full labour until 9cm then emergency c section with a back to back, slightly out of place baby. It was the recovery I felt was difficult.

I read the title of the thread and thought you meant a Labour Government !!!

If being fisted by an elephant isn't that bad, then sure. It's not that bad.

As pp's show, everyone's experience is different.

Just because you haven't personally experienced something in a particular way doesn't mean you are entitled to make massively sweeping generalisations about every child bearing woman. I hope you have a wonderful birth, just like I hope the same for every woman, but what I hope more is that, if you do have a great birth, you don't rudely dismiss the experience of anyone who says theirs was horrific as if they are exaggerating.

And yes my first labour was horrific. Couldn't walk for a week, in pain for 8 months after and still numb in places now when the weather is cold! ELCS second time round as a result.

I'll definitely be going for a ELCS if and when we have a second but honestly? I'm terrified of dying.

Lololol @PuffsMummie

I practised hypnobirthing every day for months, listened to my tracks, did my up breathing, did everything for optimal positioning, had battery operated fairy lights and essential oils in my hospital bag, all that stuff.

My contractions came almost immediately 4 in 10 minutes, lasting a minute. I felt like my spine was being pulled out through my arse. At the end my baby's heart rate went haywire so he had to be pulled out with emergency forceps, then I lost 2 litres of blood (not sure any amount of meditation can solve a retained placenta).

I don't want to scare you- I'm sure that won't happen to you, and I hope it doesn't, but to suggest I just didn't try hard enough is completely and utterly ridiculous.

Might want to get off your high horse cos I promise you that attitude will be taken down a peg or two once you're an actual parent

I’ve done both natural and c-section and if I have a third I’d be going natural all the way.

Whilst natural birth is intense and painful it’s over once baby arrives.

C-section took me almost 6 weeks to even feel normal and is definitely not the easy option.

Have you considered hypnobirthing?

Also don’t forgot that labour is such a small part of your life. It is only the beginning.

I’d go with the flow and start researching breastfeeding and looking after a newborn instead. Breastfeeding can be relentless in those first few weeks.

It’s not ‘horrific’ at all. I’ve had a natural birth and a c-section. I would not suggest a c-section is a better alternative. Yes, it’s an easier birth since the dr just gets on with it, but the recovery is longer, as you are essentially recovering from surgery while looking after a newborn baby. I would always opt for a ‘regular’ birth over a c-section, but neither is unbearable, by any stretch of the imagination. You’ll be fine, and congratulations!

I think we do it again just because we realise that it's worth it. Currently pregnant with No2 and s**ting myself about the labour. Agree with others it's the contractions. I remember not being able to physically speak, the midwife telling me to take it easy on the gas and air. I wanted to ask for help (pain relief) but physically couldn't. I was just thinking what on earth have I put myself through this for.
The pushing I found surreal it is like having a massive poo.
Then DD arrived and I fell in love. The pain wasn't forgotten but oh my she was worth it.

IamWaggingBrenda

Maybe for you it wasn't horrific. For me it was.

One induced, one when the baby decided. One terrible, one not so terrible.

Recovery wise I had endless support from family and friends. Going solo it would have been a fucking nightmare.

Contractions from the induction hurt like a motherfucker. Contractions when I lay in the bath hurt far less. The actual birth of the induced one ended with every intervention under the sun. The birth of the non-induced one was calm and, if it's possible, lovely.

One woman's pain is another woman's pleasure and what my Midwife advised me with my first is that nobody gets a medal at the end for heroics, so the whole competitive "it didn't hurt me, contractions and labour are a breeze" doesn't help because labours can vary so much.

@WhatNoNotYouAgain agree!

Omg @BiancaDelRiooo that sounds horrific, you poor thing

Expecting to get absolutely flamed for this comment, but everyone I know thats had a horrible/traumatic labour, did little to nothing to prepare for it.

This kind of ignorant, judgemental bollocks is so profoundly unhelpful and a real slap in the face to many women who've taken the time to share their difficult birth stories on this thread only to be told "it's your own fault, you should have done your homework" by someone who has never even given birth!
I know a woman whose birth injuries were so horrific she's doubly incontinent some years later despite attempts to repair the damage surgically- it was her second baby, she did a hypnobirthing course, pregnancy yoga and was studying to be an NCT instructor at the time so I'm not sure I'd describe her as "unprepared". I also have a friend who is an experienced hospital midwife and ended up with a horrendously painful induction, failed epidural, forceps and then an EMCS with her own baby. Does delivering hundreds of babies and generally being an expert on all things pregnancy and birth related count as sufficient preparation? I'm sure she'd love to know what she should have done differently to "prepare" for her baby's shoulder dystocia.
We might like to think we're in control but birth is so unpredictable, it's one of those things that makes you realise you can't prepare for everything. Some things we simply don't have control over. I'm sure if your prediction is correct and you have a nice easy labour you'll tell yourself you made it happen by preparing and staying "in control" but in truth you will simply have been lucky.

As you’ve probably gathered, it all depends.

3 out of my 4 friends who’ve had babies had serious complications- eclampsia, haemorrhages...all 3 of them nearly died.

My mother, sister and grandmother all had very straightforward births- no tearing, no ‘unbearable pain’.

Could go either way

Got an epidural at 5cms. Was fine.
In all honesty the next day I recall thinking “is that what all the fuss is about?”

That’s how it was for me, I realise it’s not the same for everyone. Hopefully you’ll have a straightforward time.

I found labour to be not as bad as I had expected. I wasn’t scared. I used the birthing pool and gas and air and both helped massively. I didn’t swear or scream and never felt like I couldn’t/wouldn’t do it again. Stitches weren’t pleasant (worse than the birth for me) but I had gas and air for that part too and got through it. I found the pain to be like really bad period pain while being really tight across your stomach. You get a break between contractions

I think falling downstairs and breaking some ribs was worse!

Hope you have a good experience OP.