AIBU to think I stand a chance of getting back with an ex after 5 years apart? (I got married, had a child, and got divorced in this time)

[mamahannah101]

AIBU to think I stand a chance of successfully reuniting with an old flame?
I met him when I was in my late teens and him in his early twenties. I was in an on/off complicated relationship with my boyfriend when i met him (now ex-husband).
We became really close and he fell in love with me. He knew I had a boyfriend and that it was complicated. He waited 7 years for me to be with him and we were in and out of contact during this time. He even waited after I got married although we had no contact at this point.

After my divorce we spoke a few times and it was like rewinding the years back. The chemistry was still there. He lives abroad and last year called me to say he was at the airport and had just arrived in London. I told him I was in Cornwall and wouldn't be back for 10 days. When I got back to London he changed his mind about seeing me and decided that he didn't want anything to do with me.

I have tried reaching out to him since but he has said he isn't interested. I just feel like if we meet in person I will be able to see if he still has feelings and or get closure. I love him and it took losing him for me to realise that.

Advanced search is a great tool...

I am confused: were you actually in Cornwall or did you just pretend to be in Cornwall? @mamahannah101?

The reason I told my old flame I was in Cornwall was so I'd have time to go on a juice diet and shed a bit of a weight before we met and increase my chances of it working out well.

I must by a juicer!!!

Something I’m not clear on - did you actually do the juice diet though?

Hi Op, I mean this in the kindest way but I think you need to move on. It sounds like he got back to London reaches out as perhaps was at a loose end, then found his feet pretty quickly and realised he probably doesn’t need a single mum when the dating pool/single life in London is fun and exciting. Move on and accept he doesn’t want you the way you want him. It’s as simple as this if he wanted to be with you he would be. Good luck finding someone who wants the same as you.

Ps were you actually in Cornwall or just lied to loose some weight?

SilverySurfer
I was just talking about people taking the piss about the juice cleanse, that in a round about way i could understand her logic even though its crazy.

And i agree that she should let it go and not dump her child or fly to see him. I did say i think it was too late and to let him go

Of course now its obvious this thread isnt real so i wish i hadnt bothered.

Dh and me have regular juice diets before dtd.

What?

You go on a juice diet before doing the deed, as in sex?

It must be a hell of a long foreplay if you go on a juice diet expecting to lose weight just before sex [gtrin]

@Ilikethisone I was joking

Life is not a rom com. Best case scenario is you fly out, you're right about everything and he wants to be with you, except you can't be together as you can't move your child away from their father. You've made your bed with this one. Own your choices and move on with your life

@ACPC thank fuck.

To be honest I was actu8thinking the you were going to say dtd was going to something different to what i thought

From my own experience of being in a similar situation, if he has feelings he will come back. A word of advice, is to not go in guns blazing telling him how you feel and how much you love him - just offer friendship.

You missed the boat.

You missed the boat.

Maybe that's where the other 2 kids are. Maybe they are on the boat 😂

Surely this isn't real. Do real people actually lie to a guy they supposedly love to keep him waiting around while they secretly go on a juice diet to win said guy like he's a prize?

If it is real, then yeah, he saw you or someone let slip that you weren't in Cornwall. Shame, because real Cornish ice-cream is well nice, much nicer than a juice diet.

You know, whatever you have suffered in terms of a bad relationship - it's not an excuse to dick people about.

You seem to think it's been fine to keep this guy hanging about for you for years and mess with his feelings because you were in a bad relationship. It's not fine.