To think we should try harder with DS's food?

[MamaOomMowWow]

Our baby is about to turn 1. We are a vegan family (nb we are planning to do it responsibly and see a nutritionist shortly to make sure we are getting DS all the nutrients he needs) so we cannot just rely on pouches/ready-made baby meals as there are only a few suitable age-appropriate ones at the local supermarket.

DH, who will be a SAHD when I go back to work shortly, doesn't see the harm in feeding DS lots of processed food at every meal - eg ready-made veggie burgers, veggie sausages etc. as long as they are not too high in salt. I think some lightly processed food is OK (eg soy yogurt) but it would generally be better if we gave DS home-cooked meals from scratch at the moment rather than always relying on frozen burgers as we might as well give him healthy food whilst he is not too fussy. I'm not saying never give him a burger but I don't think it should be something that we do every day.

I want DH to take charge of the cooking as he will be the SAHD but I want him to feed DS properly and have offered to assist in any way I can (eg help batch cooking) when I'm not working. I am genuinely not sure if I am being unreasonable in suggesting to DH that we should really be making DS proper food from scratch rather than always relying on food from packets.

More generally to try and avoid drip-feeding, DH's cooking is always very reliant on processed food - normally some kind of fake meat with some veg on the side. I don't really like this way of eating and since we started dating have either been eating DH's way and gaining a lot of weight (and not really enjoying the food that much tbh) or on a diet and making my own food. DH doesn't think his way of eating is unhealthy but he currently spends 2+ hours every day working out so that he doesn't gain weight (I think it's going to be a struggle for him to fit that in when I go back to work but that's another matter...)

I don't know, I'm vegan but I very very rarely eat any fake meats (can't remember the last time I did) I use tofu, beans, nuts, seeds and pulses and make my own things.

I am the only vegan in the house, though DH and DC love vegan food, and I do most of the cooking, and I do cook everything from scratch. Excluding making my own tofu, can't be doing with that.

I also have a policy of not making any meal which takes longer than 30 mins (maybe 45 at a push) to make from start to eat, unless on special occasions.

Its perfectly possible to make healthy, nutritious meals from scratch, and eat a good variety but not spend hours slaving over a hot stove.

So I guess YABU if you expect him to be making tofu from scratch, but as you've suggested, probably best to batch cook and strike a balance

If you're gaining loads of weight as a vegan, something is definitely not working. What is it and I would be concerned that your baby is getting a healthy, balanced diet.

My brothers kids got very sick on a ready made vegan diet as toddlers, it was illness after illness to the point dieticians were requesting meat be put back into their diet.

They now eat white meat and are fantastically healthy but I think with the right preparation a vegan diet would have been more than enough! Deffs try putting some variety in there, dads are just lazier and want the easy way, make sure he knows you want a little more effort for mealtimes is all..

Maybe get him an easy "beginner vegan" cookbook? Something where there aren't a load of fancy ingredients and takes ages - and also, remind him that some ordinary food can be vegan - like vegan pasta and sauce, potatoes and baked beans etc.
It is expensive as well as unhealthy to rely on too much processed food. And I always think it is a bit weird, vegans eating lots of fake meat and fake cheese. Like, you're vegan - vegetables and pulses are what you choose to eat, not meat.

Fake meat is best used as something to help you "fit in" at meat eating events, rather than as a daily part of your diet at home. When I was vegan I would take fake meat to parties and stuff because it was much easier on the host. At home I would make my own food.

I think you are absolutely right about making proper food your DS but it's not so clear cut because your DH is the one at home. I'm just thinking that if he's struggling and finding it difficult to juggle little one and all the house work then it seems harsh to insist that he takes lots of extra time out of his day to do something that he lacks confidence in - cooking. I think your suggestion of helping him to batch cook on your days off is a really good thing. I would also maybe have an honest conversation with him about all of this, and maybe see if you can persuade him that learning to cook decent food for his child is a really nice thing to do as a father. Help him gain some confidence in this area and it will pay dividends for the whole family in the future. Cooking is an essential life skill when you have children.

I think you need to do some cookery demonstrations for him and show him some easy recipes which can be batch-cooked.

Definitely aim for your DS's food to be cooked from scratch as often as possible.

I've often wondered how on earth a vegan diet can be 'healthy' considering the amount of artificial foods it seems to contain. I imagine that, done properly, the three of you would be bursting with health so YANBU to suggest natural foods take priority. Sit down together and have a good chat about food groups, nutrients etc and as pps have suggested talk about recipes and batch cooking. I bet a little planning and forethought would make it a doddle.

Defo good idea about batch cooking together, or perhaps a simple,easy vegan cook book?

Why do vegans (or vegetarians) eat foods which are made to look like meat? I don't get it. Yes, the SAHP needs to cook healthy food with minimal processed crap. I think you will have some battles ahead if he doesn't realise this is important. What else is he going to do? Sit the child in front of the tv for hours while he works out. You've had a year to sort this out!

Pretend food then. Good luck

I think the vegan issue is a red herring. No one year old should be fed solely on pre prepared food doesn't matter if they are omnivores, veggies or vegans.
Try and agree as parents how many home cooked meals a week you are aiming for and do some meal planning. Build up around 3 weeks of simple recipes that you can cycle through.

Make sure for a baby you have doctors advice on a diet and b12 supplements at least

Human babies are not meant to be vegan.

The thing is, you won’t be able to control what he does at home with your child or what he feeds her. That’s part of having a SAHD, letting go of the control. I would find it very hard to do, I think most mothers do, as they tend to have firmer ideas on how things should be done.

Hi, I'm pescatarian, and our son (3) who is not still eats lots of vegan meals. We batch cook them at the weekend and eat during the week. Examples are;

Fajita veg with chickpeas
Veg chilli
Veg bolognaise
Spinach and sweet potato Dahl
Chickpea Estafado
Courgette and sweet corn fritters

From the sound of it mum doesn’t want to be vegan

I think the vegan issue is a red herring. No one year old should be fed solely on pre prepared food doesn't matter if they are omnivores, veggies or vegans.

That's it. I had to mention the vegan thing because otherwise people might say to just stock up on meals from the baby section at the supermarket, but there are only a few that are vegan and I don't want him eating the same 3 meals on repeat.

Make sure for a baby you have doctors advice on a diet and b12 supplements at least

Yes we are planning to see a dietician (more qualified than a nutritionist) and DS already gets some B12 fortified foods along with breast milk which will contain B12 as I take a supplement.

From the sound of it mum doesn’t want to be vegan

No. I've been vegan about 15 years, long before I knew DH. It's just that I'm a whole foods type vegan (lots of beans and vegetables) and DH is a junk food vegan.

I should add that I think with careful planning babies can be healthy on a vegan diet. I'm very aware of the nutritional issues (making sure he gets complete proteins and a variety of different incomplete proteins, B12, iodine etc) whereas DH thinks a diet consisting of veggie burgers is very healthy and you don't need to worry about anything else so he cannot see why I'm fussing. He has said that he's willing to do what it takes to please me though, although I wish he would see that it's about ensuring DS has a healthy diet not me being fussy. I only want to raise DS vegan if we can do it in a responsible healthy way, and hypothetically I would rather feed him meat if that were not possible as DS is my priority now.

I have managed to convince DH that salt is an issue so maybe I can get him to see how crappy all these processed foods are eventually, but it's a battle.

I think PP hadn't read the thread properly.

Does DH really want to be a vegan? Would he find it easier, or be more prepared to cook vegetarian meals, or meals with meat in?

As the SAHP, it is really down to him what he feeds your DS whilst you're at work.

Not a vegan- but I think doing batch cooking together would be a good way forward. Plus, homemade food tastes so much better than processed crap, you might find your DH develops a taste for it and wants to cook more!!

It's not that hard to make simple vegan meals that aren't fake meat + veg...

Pasta and vegan pesto
Jacket potato and beans and salad
Houmous and pitta and veg sticks
Rice with some veg fried up and stirred in plus a tin of green lentils or chickpeas
Couscous with diced cucumber/tomato plus tin of pulses
Scrambled tofu on toast

All those take hardly any time to prepare and are massively better than fake meat!

Why do vegans (or vegetarians) eat foods which are made to look like meat?

Which part of the animal is the sausage from? Is it like, the fingers or dick or sotin?

Or is it mashed up shit bound into a shape and then cooked? And why is it not ok for vegetables to be mashed up, bound into a shape and cooked?

So what's DS eating now?

All those processed foods are really high in salt - a Quorn sausage has 1g of salt in, that's half his salt intake for the day.

Has your ds only been eating pouches and processed food up until now?! How is he reaching his dairy, protein, vitamin & mineral levels and not getting too much salt? Sorry if that’s not the case but your op isn’t very clear.

If your dh is not capable of feeding a nutritionally balanced vegan diet to your child then he needs to feed a balanced diet somehow. The first few years of life are so important in regards to health, that you really can’t fuck about with processed crap just to say vegan.

Why is your DH the parent to SAH if he has less interest in your DS’s health and well-being?

I’ll be honest - providing healthy food is so fundamental on this score to me, that I’d worry about the quality of care my DC was going to receive in other ways too ... will your DH always choose the easiest option for him, rather than the best option for your DC? The comments about 2+hours at the gym too would have me worrying.

If I were choosing paid childcare, diet would be a big thing I’d look at and I’d be unimpressed with processed burgers etc for a 1 year old.