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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do be disappointed that this is it?

115 replies

Lily2811 · 21/08/2019 17:45

I feel like I'm beginning to realise that life is basically just 60 - 80 years of working really hard all week and then occasionally seei g friends or family. It literally just feels like one big full cycle of eating, working and sleeping. And housework. I don't know what else I was expecting, just feel disappointed and a bit sad that this is it.

OP posts:

BlueSkiesLies · 22/08/2019 14:23

Yup well, that bascially it.

So you have to find your own happiness.

Make sure work is a balancing act between £ and happiness. You need £ but also it can't be soul destroying. 20's is the time to make these changes and push forwards at work.

Work in something that makes you happy every day. Try and exercise every day. See friends and family as much as you can. Make meaningful connections to your community. Eat well.

Seriously why are you having to do so much housework? It just isn't a big thing unless you have an entire family to clean up after.

Work out what is making you unhappy. Then you can try and build happiness back up.

But also remember, life IS pointless. And a lot of life is a bit shit. So try to focus on the good moments and gloss over the bad.

Funghi · 22/08/2019 14:23

I used to feel like this. Becoming self-employed (I don’t mean in one of those pyramid scheme things) made all the difference for me. It changed my mindset, I was no longer working for someone else and stuck in the same building with the same people all day every day and counting down the days until my annual leave.

genie10 · 22/08/2019 14:29

You work in the NHS. Look for opportunities to change your job/hours within the NHS as they always prefer internal candidates and it may be that a different work environment or different hours leaves you feeling more positive.

MsTSwift · 22/08/2019 14:42

Same Funghi. Also I often have clients who are dying. At the risk of sounding trite it really makes me appreciate the small stuff, a good meal, a beach on a hot day, a laugh with friends. Our lives now in the west are amazing we need to appreciate that. Our equivalents 200 odd years ago had a pretty shit time .

MuchTooTired · 22/08/2019 14:47

Have you by any chance recently turned 26? 🤔

JamdaniSari · 22/08/2019 14:51

Agreed OP.

...But I am grateful that I live in a society where I am not adding ‘stay alive’ as a daily struggle (having enough water food etc)
^ Thank you for the reminder @QueenofallIsee x

bigKiteFlying · 22/08/2019 15:05

My first proper job left me feeling like this - and next one took a while for me to settle helped they hired newer people leading me to realise the imposter syndrome wasn't just me and longer serving staff were hard to approach - I was often approached instead.

Office relocating also help better work conditions and meant I had to move - got me out of a depressing studio apartment and lost the long commute - meant I then had time to study with OU.

I’d take it as a sign something needs to change.

Maybe first try a job change and if that doesn’t help try and move areas – I know a few people who managed to migrate over with series of job changes or more study or look at possibility of moving see if you can cut the commute down and possibly consider if where you are living isn't helping - the studio flat was awful looking back and certainly added to me feeling meh.

Cakeisbest · 22/08/2019 15:42

You’ve figured this out in your 20’s, so much better than in your 50’s and then think what a disappointment. Life is short and it can be shit at times, but you’ve already sussed that. Find little things each day that give you joy and make you smile. For me, it’s coffee just the way I like it in my fave mug and a few minutes downtime to enjoy it. Or cuddling the cat, even when he squirms away.
Can you plan your next trip away, or make your next day off special rather than using it to get ready for work again. Trust me, we all feel like this sometimes. X

Original poster

Lily2811 · 22/08/2019 15:57

Thank you for all the helpful suggestions 😊 time to make some changes now!

OP posts:

Freaking0ut · 22/08/2019 16:53

OP you sound to me very much like what you are experiencing is the ‘quarter life crisis’. I’m not minimising what you’re feeling, I remember going through something similar myself. It led me to have a massive career change. My sister had a similar wobble in her mid twenties. Check out this article in the Independent, do you relate?

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/quarter-life-crisis-mid-twenties-career-job-relationships-shopping-temping-taylor-swift-dating-a7502206.html?amp

Freaking0ut · 22/08/2019 16:56

That Indy article is a little bit tongue in cheek but if you google ‘quarter life crisis’ you’ll find tonnes of stuff about it. It’s definitely a ‘thing’ and sometimes just identifying the problem can be helpful.

Babdoc · 22/08/2019 17:09

The twenties are not a great decade. You stop being a carefree student with long holidays, and suddenly find yourself on a treadmill.
At that age I was working 100 hour weeks as a junior doc, was too exhausted for much social life, and wondered like you, is this it.
In my 30’s I was widowed with two babies, still working as a hospital doc, and even more exhausted, although my job was very satisfying.
But I’m now retired, the DC are grown up and I have a life! I have hobbies, and holidays, theatre trips, days out, country walks, restaurant meals, visits to the DC where they entertain me. And I still have my Christian faith, enjoy church regularly, and look forward to being reunited with DH and finding the meaning of all this when I eventually die.
Life is temporary, OP. Try to enjoy it and live it decently and with love at each stage, and hope God will explain what on earth it was all about afterwards, when we get to the bit that matters!

Glass5Cage321 · 22/08/2019 17:58

Do some hobbies, visit family & friends

Set yourself some short & long term goals

Only you can make it happen !

skiddley · 23/08/2019 06:35

Thank you @augustsoon

floribunda18 · 23/08/2019 07:25

I wouldn't necessarily take it as a sign that things need to change. Perhaps they do, but often it's the person who needs to change their mindset to enjoy and be content with what you have, instead of always striving for the next, different or bigger and better thing. The grass is not always greener.

Of course it is very difficult to be so enlightened in your 20s, it's only the beginning of the process and you'd expect a certain amount of restlessness.

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