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Original poster

Do be disappointed that this is it?

115 replies

Lily2811 · 21/08/2019 17:45

I feel like I'm beginning to realise that life is basically just 60 - 80 years of working really hard all week and then occasionally seei g friends or family. It literally just feels like one big full cycle of eating, working and sleeping. And housework. I don't know what else I was expecting, just feel disappointed and a bit sad that this is it.

OP posts:
DancingDolly · 21/08/2019 18:59

Stop looking at the bigger picture and start to concentrate on the now. I truly believe that we can find pleasure in the little things every day and from concentrating on being in the moment. If my life ended tomorrow, on paper it would look pretty mundane and uneventful, but I would say it's been happy and full!

chomalungma · 21/08/2019 19:02

Could be worse.

AnAC12UCOinanOCG · 21/08/2019 19:03

I don't think about this because it's too depressing. I'm very unlikely to live to retirement age so my life will literally be working and, because I'm disabled, therefore too tired to enjoy my time off.

applesandacorns · 21/08/2019 19:03

You might be depressed, OP. Maybe you should see a doctor?

PrettyShiningPeople · 21/08/2019 19:21

whenever I feel like this, I just need to go back to when I had a health scare. That doesn’t take much to remind you just to be thankful to be alive, in good health, and able to enjoy anything that you should so choose to.
Not meant to make you feel bad, but just a bit of perspective as things could be so much worse!

WoollyMollyMonkey · 21/08/2019 19:30

Life is shit. And then you die.

BooseysMom · 21/08/2019 19:32

Look into passive streams of income. And then no about investments. I was thinking of buying a cheap house by a noisy road in a good city. Because in 15 years time all the electric cars will make it a quiet road, and my investment may have gone up

That's genius! Grin (as long as they don't make them have pretend noisy engines for safety reasons!.Hmm)

dollydaydream114 · 21/08/2019 19:34

OP, I know exactly what you mean and exactly how you feel - and I also know that people admonishing you for being negative and telling you how much worse off others are will have absolutely no effect whatsoever. I quite often feel this way - it's having to go to work that I hugely resent. I actually don't dislike my job, and I work with mostly nice people. But when I think about how short life really is, it seems so cruel that we have to spend so much of it doing something we'd actually rather not do. I am one of those people who would give up work if I won the lottery even if I won enough to support a really modest lifestyle.

I think my question to you would be that when you do get to do nice stuff (ie not work or household chores), do you enjoy it and feel happy? Or do you find it hard to enjoy the nice stuff because you're always thinking about the bad stuff? If it's the latter, you might want to look up the signs of depression. If it's the former, I would just try to focus as much as possible on the stuff you really do enjoy as much as possible.

angell84 · 21/08/2019 20:42

It is an interesting one. I am mid thirties and I have been lucky enough this last year to be able to travel for one whole year and not work at all.
It was fun at the start, but now - I miss work! And I am very excited to get a new job. Life can be very boring and meaningless if you do not work aswell.

I would suggest : balance your life out: work but make sure that you have fun hobbies. If you really really hate your job. Those late nights are not in every - look at moving jobs

Mishappening · 21/08/2019 20:45

Ditch the housework - once every couple of months is more than enough.

What is the point of life? - well, who knows? I certainly don't. All we can do is live it as best we may.

cptartapp · 21/08/2019 20:50

I felt a little like you. Then my DM was killed in a car accident aged 69, and I realised life is there to be lived. I have worked in the NHS for almost 30 years, but have changed jobs to ensure no unsocial hours and rather than curtail my dreams, had my two DC ( now teens) who are the light of my life and have changed the dynamic of everything so much for the better.
Life can be hard, but I'm so glad I'm here, healthy, living it.

Xenadog · 21/08/2019 20:52

OP, what do you want your life to be like? I would start by making a list of 5 things you want to do/achieve within 6 months and then make plans for making them happen. I’d reach out to people who can advise and help you as well. Think about who the most positive person in your life is and speak to them about your new goals.

You sound fed up, stuck in a rut and maybe depressed. If you are depressed, it is worth going to speak to the doctor and also looking to natural ways of lifting your mood.

QualCheckBot · 21/08/2019 20:56

Move abroad OP. Bad public transport, low salaries and poor performance by local authorities mean Britain currently doesn't give as good quality of life as many other countries.

NerrSnerr · 21/08/2019 20:58

I think it's what you do with your time. I was almost exactly the same as you in my 20s. A full time NHS shift worker. My local friends were similar so we'd go through our diaries and do stuff on our evenings/ days off. Nothing hugely expensive but local gigs, quiz nights or drinking wine in each other's houses all night.

I'm now in my late 30s with small children and a part time NHS 9-5 job. I am slowly getting more 'life' back but it's different.

You have to make life happen, it doesn't just happen to you. If you want to take up a hobby you'll find the time. If you want to socialise more or socialise differently then ask your friends if they'll do it with you.

namby · 21/08/2019 20:59

That's why having a fulfilling career that I enjoy is such a big deal to me. I have to work to live, so I've made sure I enjoy what I have to do 36 hours a week! I bore my children with that EVERY day, it's SO important to enjoy what you do, otherwise, what's the point?

namby · 21/08/2019 21:00

(And so we have enough money for adventures in between).

Greeborising · 21/08/2019 21:04

You can look at life in any number of ways.
Yes, it’s a long drag of eating, sleeping, going to work etc
BUT
it’s what you do with the time given to you
Only you can make your life what you want it to be.
Personal goals are varied
I’ve had a very exciting time on this earth
I’ve met and loved some amazing people and had some astonishing experiences
I’m only 55 and have ‘calmed down ‘ a bit but still loving life and all it has to offer.
My kids have given me so much vicarious joy

DishingOutDone · 21/08/2019 21:15

Mid. 20s. Sheesh. Hmm

cacklingmags · 21/08/2019 21:32

You are sounding exhausted and a bit depressed. See your GP, they might check for iron deficiency or something like that.

Greatnorthwoods · 21/08/2019 21:37

I used to think like that OP, that life was a endless repetitive sea of grey, monotonous boredom of eat, work sleep.

I felt like I had to work until I died, or if I was able to retire, the best I could hope for was being able to shuffle to the toilet and make it in time.

Alternatively I could look forward to society collapsing and my chance of a good life would be surviving and thriving in the resulting apocalyptic nightmare.

That changed when I moved out of the UK. OP if you can’t win at your current game of life, change the game.

Original poster
Lily2811 · 22/08/2019 11:34

@DishingOutDone whats your point?

OP posts:
DishingOutDone · 22/08/2019 11:40

As you said earlier, there isn't one Biscuit

SophieSong · 22/08/2019 11:50

Yea..this is why people have kids - so they get so busy on the treadmill and with the guilt of having to provide for their family that those existential questions just fall by the wayside for 20 odd years.

(that was being flippant / a little tongue in cheek..but sometimes I do wonder!)

SophieSong · 22/08/2019 11:51

'guilt' was supposed to be 'responsibility' Hmm

Glasscrab · 22/08/2019 11:51

If you’re already feeling this way I’d suggest strongly reconsidering having children. They’re like nail in the coffin of your dreams!

@Skittlenommer, as you say you don't have children, you really are coming from a position of entire ignorance here. You may well feel that children would be the 'nail in the coffin of your dreams' if you had any, but as someone who thought long and carefully about it before having a child at 39, I can assure you that it is not a universal predicament. I had a lovely life before I had DS, and it's continued to be (differently) lovely since.

OP, why do you think this is striking you now, in your mid-20s? Was there some kind of narrative or sense of progression in your life until recently that has now gone?

Some people can really struggle with the period immediately after university, because at some level they're so used to progressing through education, passing exams, jumping through hoops and moving onto a higher level of study the next year, and it can feel strange to have been spat out the end of this process and have no more periodic hoops to jump...?

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