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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Huge spider in my room and I am terrified AF :(

82 replies

NoIinteam · 20/08/2019 22:50

This is so upsetting. I walked into my room and there was a huge spider on the floor. Tried facing fear and trapping it under a pint glass, but the glass didn't fit and touched one of its legs and it ran under my TV cabinet. DH is working nights and won't be home until dawn.

I'm now barricaded in my spare room with my dog and I'm absolutely terrified. I know I'm pathetic, but I have a serious spider phobia and thi one is so big. I feel icky and have a constant sensation of things crawling all over me. How do I get through the night? Sad

OP posts:
TheClaws · 21/08/2019 09:13

Yeah, that's not how phobias work

Thanks - I’m fully aware of how phobias work. I was trying to help by assuring OP the spiders in question can’t hurt her. How is that a bad thing? I don’t love spiders myself as I know how venomous they can be, but then I live in an area with a high population of the venomous ones and I’ve been bitten before.

Lindormilk · 21/08/2019 09:20

I have a phobia of spiders. I usually get DH to deal with thembut he wont kill them🤬 he was out the other day and i had 2 big ones in the shower. I had to whack them with a news paper. I need them dead.

Im 45 and I know they are good for eating flies, they wont hurtme and they like dry places so great, my house isn’t dami.

But to someone with a phobia, means nothing.

poolblack · 21/08/2019 09:26

Thanks - I’m fully aware of how phobias work. I was trying to help by assuring OP the spiders in question can’t hurt her. How is that a bad thing?

The way it came across maybe? If I read it in a way you didn't t intend, perhaps others may have too?

ArthurtheCatsHumanSlave · 21/08/2019 09:28

My DD has the hoover in her room permanently at the moment. It is unfortunate that they seem to like her room in particular :-/

The biggest one we had recently, she managed to whack under her bin. It was sooooo big, despite being a direct hit, the legs stuck out from underneath. Even I had a problem cleaning that one up.

DH got woken up by one walking across the carpet the other night, he said that was a whooper too. It had boots on.

slipperywhensparticus · 21/08/2019 09:37

I think there was one on my bed I say think because I was woke up by a cat bomb that has clawed open my head and my sons arm has holes in it I'm not sure if he got it but he got me!

I hate spiders I google places with no spiders at this time of year

chocolatemademefat · 21/08/2019 09:43

Get a heavy book and give your TV cabinet a nudge. When the spider runs out drop the book on it and be sure to stand on the book to make sure the spider is dead. Maybe cruel but if it’s not paying rent it shouldn’t be there.

And don’t have bare feet while you’re doing this!

64sNewName · 21/08/2019 09:43

He got woken up by it, Arthur?!! As in, it made a sound? Bloody hell Shock

God I hate this time of year. I’m like the OP, I really try with humane trapping under a glass, but I can’t stay in a room with the big ones that scuttle. I had two big ones run in to my room late at night once last year, and the memory still makes me feel upset.

Hope you’re ok OP.

Bravelurker · 21/08/2019 12:25

It's a bit like telling a non swimmer who has just fallen overboard into the sea, to just relax, not to panic and you will simply eventually float. Or the classic stop drop and roll when you are on fire, all really good suggestions but not massively doable when every inch of your body is in flail mode.

WhoTellsYourStory · 21/08/2019 12:35

Christ some of the comments here. I'm pretty sure the OP knows that UK spiders can't hurt you. Phobias aren't based on a person logically analysing whether or not something is dangerous. They provoke a reaction and the reaction feels like it is, or is going to, hurt you.

OP - I sympathise. I hate spiders and you were incredibly robust to even try to use a glass with it. Don't feel ashamed. Phobias aren't logical. The friendly spider thing other PPs mentioned might help, but in the meantime - I hope your OH has evacuated the sod. I bought my parents some plug-in electric devices to deter spiders, and they reckon they worked - might be worth a try! I've also heard that conkers on windowsills works but I don't know if it's just an myth.

(My phobia, for the record, is tiny clustered holes. So trust me - there are phobias that are even more embarrassing than spiders!!)

Ellabella989 · 21/08/2019 12:42

I have awful arachnophobia and it’s nothing to do with whether they might hurt me or not. The way they look and move just terrifies me and I get uncontrollable anxiety

OnlineAlienator · 21/08/2019 12:52

Omg i have arachnaphpbia emetophobia and the hatred of tiny clustered holes Grin annnnd now i feel sick just thinking about it all Envy

Needsomesupport · 21/08/2019 12:52

I was trying to help by assuring OP the spiders in question can’t hurt her. How is that a bad thing

It shows you are missing the point. Phobias are not about the rational part of the brain analysing whether the object of fear can hurt you. Most phobias are irrational fears.

WhoTellsYourStory · 21/08/2019 12:54

@OnlineAlienator Sorry!! I'm also phobic of sharks but I knew I'd get comments saying that that's logical because they're dangerous, which would undermine my point about phobias being illogical. Blush

MidnightMystery · 21/08/2019 12:56

You arnt alone OP I had to sleep in my sons bed the other night for the same reason!

Aprillygirl · 21/08/2019 12:58

I totally get you OP, though you are a far braver woman than I if you could get close enough to the horrible fucker to put a glass over it! To the people telling her it won't hurt her, she knows that, she's not fucking 2 Hmm OP I hope you managed to get some sleep last night and that your partner has managed to get the little (big) bugger out of your home for you x

Buttons4me · 21/08/2019 13:05

I had some washing on my bed went to move it and got the shock of my life when a spider ran out it was quick and hard to get it ran under my bed. I had to change my bed and was scared it would crawl back up in to my bed.

DaveCoachesgavemetheclap · 21/08/2019 13:22

There's a big spider lurking in my kitchen somewhere. DH attempted to catch it last night, but he said it 'wriggled free and ran off round the corner' Confused I'm not too happy, but it's slightly more bearable than moths. I was on holiday a few years ago with my sister an niece, and a massive moth got into my room. We were all shit scared of it, so I slept on the settee for 3 nights.

AloeVeraLynn · 21/08/2019 13:27

OP I get it.
Between now and November ish I'm a nervous wreck. All the facts about how harmless they are don't make a difference to the fact I have a severe phobia. One motivation for me is that my daughter is frightened of them now so I am putting a lot of effort into tackling this but it is so, so hard.
Firstly I name them all, even the tiny ones. Yes its pathetic but Cedric and Myrtle seem a lot less threatening than "BEAST".
Secondly through this summer I've been trying to desensitize myself to the smaller ones you see in the garden and stuff. I actively seek out the smaller garden spiders and practice moving them (they're probably really pissed off but they are helping me to not kill them anymore)
I'm still really frightened and I know when I see one of these giant autumn house spiders I will cry.. but I'm hoping I'm making some slow progress.
I just wanted to say I hear you, it sucks and its upsetting when people belittle it.

DanaPhoenix · 21/08/2019 13:34

I'm actually in Australia. I feel you OP it took me a long time to overcome my fear of spiders (obviously still not comfortable with our poisonous ones). That was only because as the mum I was sometimes the only one available to deal with them if the kids encountered one. Sounds like you've taken some good precautions, a large spider won't get in.

expatinspain · 21/08/2019 13:38

I couldn't get close enough to put a glass over a spider, never mind carry one outside in said glass. I can't hit them, I can't hoover them, I can't use a spider catcher.

YouBelongHere · 21/08/2019 16:17

Can relate OP - I was looking after my brother a couple of weeks ago at his house and was checking to make sure his bed sheets were clean. I decided to check under the pillow, something I NEVER do because what's the point I literally lifted it up and went 'yep nothing there... wait...', lifted it back up and out crawled the BIGGEST spider, crawled over the pillow and hid behind his bed.

Didn't know what to do as I could hardly send my brother to bed with this massive spider lurking (although I doubt my brother would've cared but still wouldn't have been fair) when luckily my Dad called to say he'd forgotten his glasses and would have to come back to retrieve them. I made him deal with it, he literally tore the room apart trying to find it but did in the end and dealt with it - after yelling at me for being a wimp because I screamed when it ran in my direction!

I'm at home alone this week and spotted one in the living room, it was in an awkward position. When I tried to squash it with the rolling pin (sorry to the spider catchers but I just can't!) it crawled under the lamp and I think it's still there. Luckily it's not too big and it was quite slow, not one of those horrible scuttling ones!

toria6118 · 21/08/2019 23:37

You can buy a spray from amazon that basically freezes spiders to death. I had one in my toilet, it was above the door. I ran out of the room, shut the door and got my partner to dispatch it when he’d had his nap. It was a big bastard, size of his hand. Ick.

OneStepSideways · 22/08/2019 07:45

Kinsters I do understand phobias, and I know they're often irrational. I used to have a dog phobia but with gradual exposure and flooding I've got over that.

Spiders are everywhere, just like dogs. It's impossible to avoid them so the only option is therapy of gradually exposing yourself or flooding and accepting they are not going away.

Comparing a house spider to a lion doesn't make any sense, the lion could kill you, the house spider can't (unless you live somewhere tropical).

Learning about spiders can help eg why you are likely to see big ditzy ones in late summer, and accepting they have no interest in crawling on you but are just sniffing out female spiders.

I am still nervous of dogs and get a flash of panic when an unknown dog jumps on me in the park. But I nolonger avoid the park or go into fight/flight mode.

Someone upthread mentioned a spray that freezes them, do you mean the cockroach spray that turns them into a block of jelly stuff?

FrankieDoyle · 22/08/2019 22:18

I wonder if the OP was eaten by the spider.

OnlineAlienator · 23/08/2019 10:25

It is the only logical conclusion we can draw.

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