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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For having a BBQ at ds's 2nd birthday party

58 replies

onetiredmummy · 05/08/2007 21:08

Get this. Ds's birthday party is next Saturday, and as we have large family there will be lots of adults there. Most of these adults will be travelling down specially (coming south in August on a Sat!)& the journey is min 2 hours from the nearest, they will be driving back on the same day too. Dh has decided to do a BBQ but there will still be party food for any children who turn up.

Went to see MIL today & she has informed me that I am being selfish for doing a BBQ, that birthday parties are meant for the children and no adult in their right mind wants feeding. She says I am taking the attention away from ds by making it an adult event & generally stopping it being a birthday party.

I don't know what to do now, am I spoiling his party?

OP posts:
Tortington · 05/08/2007 21:09

tell your MIL to fuck off.

Haylstones · 05/08/2007 21:10

Agree with custardo. Do waht you want, he won't remember it anyway, he's not exactly going to complain that you haven't provided the food and entertainment he expected. DOn't uderstand why so many people interfere and comment on others' opinions

MaureenMLove · 05/08/2007 21:10

What a crock of sh*t! You'll be celebrating his birthday, with all his family, who are coming from miles around and he will be completely spoilt all day! Whats her problem!

gemmiegoatlegs · 05/08/2007 21:10

we always feed the adults too. especially if they've travelled. in fact normally they eat us out of house and home and we end up having to get takeaway

damn interfering MILs

madrose · 05/08/2007 21:10

think you're doing the right thing - enjoy

themoon66 · 05/08/2007 21:11

NO YANBU. She is. Tell her to mind her own business.

Original poster
onetiredmummy · 05/08/2007 21:11

Ha I wish. And she smokes about 80 a day so praying for good weather so she doesn't smoke out my whole house!

OP posts:
Sexonlegs · 05/08/2007 21:12

Good God. How dare your mil give her opinion. My blood is boiling. You do what you like and I hope you have a great time!!!

MrsMar · 05/08/2007 21:13

Sounds a lovely day, and surely happy adults = happy children? Ignore her, and have a lovely day!

FrannyandZooey · 05/08/2007 21:14

Agree custardo

Sounds absolutely lovely and I hope you have a great day

Original poster
onetiredmummy · 05/08/2007 21:15

Your'e all so great, thanks. She really had me believing her & I've been feeling guilty all day.

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 05/08/2007 21:15

Is she generally bonkers btw? Because this doesn't sound like a normal sort of conversation.

bonkerz · 05/08/2007 21:17

we did this for DS 3rd birthday and DSD 2nd birthday which is 3 days apart. HAd whole family and loads of kids. The kids had a great time and so did the adults. We had the canke thing and loads of games. Was brilliant!

LIZS · 05/08/2007 21:18

He'll enjoy it , you'll enjoy it , the adults will appreciate not having to stop off enroute to eat , wtf is MIl's problem ? ! Stupid woman He can still have a kids' party tea , balloons and cake.

Original poster
onetiredmummy · 05/08/2007 21:19

Well my dh moved out of home at age 15 & hasn't been back, he went to live with his dad.She can be a bit bitchy behind your back, but nice to your face & she lies .Constantly.
Why the fuck did I listen to her?!

OP posts:
Olihan · 05/08/2007 21:19

If it makes you feel any better, we're doing exactly the same thing for dd's 2nd birthday in 2 weeks. We did it for her 1st birthday too. Ds1 and ds2 both have Dec b'days or we'd do it for them too, much better than hoardes of screaming kids at that age. I think that the first couple of birthdays are more about the adults celebrating the child's birthday and the year that's passed anyway. It's not as if many 2 year olds really get that it's their birthday and what that means anyway.

Mad old bag .

(Her, not you!)

WillyWonka · 05/08/2007 21:21

If your MIL smokes in your house when you clearly would rather she didn't and with children around, she's the selfish one. Have to agree with custardo's direct approach on this

lionheart · 05/08/2007 21:22

Not at all. He will get caught up in the excitment and have a lovely time.

I've done this many times.

Lorayn · 05/08/2007 21:24

your two year old, is going to get attention from loads of family members, that in itself is great for kids, I hope the weather is as nice for you as it was today, oh,and as for smoking???NO-ONE smokes in my house, because I don't smoke and thats the first thing I'd set her straight on.

MaureenMLove · 05/08/2007 21:26

Isn't it the done thing these days anyway? Certainly for pre-school kids, who don't have the huge circle of friends they get once at school. I just don't get her train of thought - why would you not have a bbq for your family, to celebrate your ds's birthday? It is summer afterall - don't most people do the same?

littlelapininhercar · 05/08/2007 21:26

What custy said.

He's TWO for god's sake, not 15. He'll have a fantastic time.

skatergirl · 05/08/2007 21:29

I'd get some no smoking signs for your house.

PrincessGoodLife · 05/08/2007 21:30

BBQ for a summer birthday - great idea. Did it for DS' 2nd b'day too. Went down a storm.

MIL - crazy. Ignore.

WillyWonka · 05/08/2007 21:32

What about having t-shirts for all of the children with the no smoking logo on the front...no?

MaureenMLove · 05/08/2007 21:35

OR you could tell her that you're doing a bbq, so that she can be involved, since she smokes and she's not allowed to smoke in doors!