To wander round in bra and pants with wet hair?

[Scissor]

Of course I'll drop all the towels I've been using on the floor and leave a half eaten bowl of coagulating cereal next to the sink. Having great fun staying at my daughter's first proper flat and she has a fab sense of humour. What else could I do?

Obviously if she has a car you’re going to leave it without petrol and just possibly mislay the keys at a crucial time.

Leave fake tan smears on at least 4 towels, 3 pillowcases and a sheet and duvet, then moan that you've gone streaky
Smear foundation from your fingers on the actual wall of the bathroom next to the mirror

Go out for the evening with a mate, let your DD eventually open the front door in the early hours, as you're too pissed to let yourself in. Have a chat with her, go to bed, then just as your DD is dropping off, burst into her room to announce you are home and your friend is staying the night.

Moan that you are bored every 3 minutes. When asked what you would like to do say you don't know and continue watching You tube. Refuse to leave the house and get any fresh air...

I couldn't read every post.

I can only hope that someone has suggested to use all the loo roll and leave only the inner next to the toilet.

For extra points, leave a new one just far enough out of reach to make her not want to get up and grab it, but somewhere it can be seen.

bigsandy let’s remember that the orange juice needs to be ‘with bits’ and then flutes allowed to dry (perhaps even mould) so that they take forever to clean and daughter may even break and/or break in the attempt.

Dye your hair a crazy colour and leave a tideline of red/purple/green all round the bathroom. And ignore the black towels in favour of a nice new cream one

*Put fake tan on ( ask her to do your back ) then sleep in nice clean white sheets
This^

Also, blue nail varnish on nice clean white sheets and newly purchased furniture

Borrow her electric shaver without asking, use all the charge up so when she eventually finds it she cant use it

Take her make up and toiletries and put them in with your own stuff as if they were always yours

Agree with wet towels on the floor and bed, clean washing strewn around the room and eventually put back in the wash without wearing and rolling around in the living room claiming "there's nothing to eat".*

OMG crying

Moan that every towel in the bathroom 'smells musty' …. but this has nothing to do with you leaving them in a heap on the floor.

Log out of any saved apps like netflix.
Send invites to other tenants for a housewarming
Hide the washing powder & liquid so when she finally gathers the dirty dishes/clothe in, she has nothing to wash them with.

Leave dirty cotton wool and cotton buds all over the floor. Obviously burn marks from straighteners are compulsory. Dirty plates/mugs/glasses everywhere. Foundation all over the landline phone and all over the pillows (obviously didn't use quite enough cotton wool balls). Empty the car of petrol. Forget your keys and bang on the door about 3am after falling off the step and crushing the bush. Eat every snack/pizza/bit of cheese. Leave all fruit and vegetables.

Bring round or bump into friends she has known for years, and if she says anything embarrassing such as ‘hello’ be sure to quiz her after on why she was acting like she knew them and how you’ve ruined her life and your very existence is social suicide.

And then beg for you and a small number of friends, say 15, to accompany her at her expense to a concert/ festival she’s already planning to go to because you are apparently the coolest parent ever and everyone wants to hang out with you

Develop a social conscience. Become vegan; insist on your own shelf in the fridge and a cupboard just for your stuff, give her a list of expensive (and almost impossible to source) foodstuffs and demand your meals be cooked separately using separate utensils and chopping boards. When she points out that you have honey on the list and that honey isn’t vegan, snap that you are aware of that thanks but this proves she never listens to you - you never said you were vegan but a veganarian! Finish up with ‘for god’s sake just educate yourself, you’re sounsupportive.’ Throw out all the shampoos, potions and lotions in the bathroom declaring them ALL to have been tested on animals or otherwise come from companies that are racist/transphobic/pro-Israeli/environmentally unsound for vague reasons and demand they be replaced with costly ethically produced alternatives.

I never did this shit when I was a teenager - clearly my parents had it far too easy. However reading this I have realised my husband is still a teenager. THE SHOES LEFT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALL. WHY? WHHHHYYYYY???

Thanks for this thread @Scissor - you are bringing joy to my life, and I hope you are enjoying yourself

I don't need this thread yet but will in a few years' time so can we have it in classics please?

Oh just as I said that dd finished the orange juice carton she was told not to open, said 'finished' and tossed it at me.

So maybe do that!

Obviously you will be leaving the wee plastic circles from the milk carton beside but not in the bin.

No need for it to be in classics or to read it in advance, in the interests of educating parents I’m sure I’m not the only one willing to lend a working model to parents of younger children. Only problem is teens really are like Kevin and Perry and behave in a saintly manner for other parents.

Leave tea bags on the side. Sure, you could put them in the bin but why bother? Just leave them in a pool of cold tea next to the kettle. Bonus points for making more than one cup of tea this way (in a clean cup each time, obvs) and leaving tea bags all around the kitchen.

Don't forget, if ever you need to search for anything pull out the entire contents of the drawer/cupboard/wardrobe, leave it all on the floor, take the item you were looking for and walk away.

Get wasted. Vom in her...car air vents.

@Chip22 I laughed until I cried at that

Wait until she's gone to work then text her saying "I've gone out and think I've left the hob on/straighteners on/oven on/taps on/iron on. Please can you check?"

Be semi-good in that you put your rubbish in the bin - but fail to see that said bin is actually full, but still continue to pile more rubbish on top anyway. Repeat as necessary until said bin resembles the Leaning Tower of Pisa - after all, you can't possibly lower yourself to actually empty the bin when it got full in the first place.

Leave little bronzing pearls all over the house so people randomly tread on them and accidentally crush them into the carpet.

Leave false eyelashes anywhere so people think there's a random spider and freak out and try to squish it.

MagneticSingularity That made me laugh a lot! 😂

Open the (full) fridge and slam around the (full) cupboards and declare loudly that there is NEVER ANYTHING TO EAT IN THIS STUPID HOUSE!

I do it every day, house cleaning too hahaha

omg. mine are 14 (boy) and 12 (girl) but both ASD so both a bit 'behind', so I have most of this to come.But, Can i add:

go into her room at 1am and either stand staring at her, 2 inches from her face, until she wakes, startled, then say: 'goodnight' (dd)

OR:

go into her room at 1am and start an (other) long discussion about 'Gravity and why the current accepted theory is in fact wrong' (ds)

Stand in the middle of a room when she's in another doing something, repeatedly shout her name in increasing volume as if you have just sliced a finger off, then when she comes in the room say "Look at me" and do something silly.

Paint your nails a nice bright colour, on her settee. Balance the open nail varnish pot on your knee whilst doing each hand.