To wander round in bra and pants with wet hair?

[Scissor]

Of course I'll drop all the towels I've been using on the floor and leave a half eaten bowl of coagulating cereal next to the sink. Having great fun staying at my daughter's first proper flat and she has a fab sense of humour. What else could I do?

Have such an extensive ‘floordrobe’ it looks as though someone high on hallucinogenic drugs ram-raided Top Shop blindfolded. Take every single utensil in the kitchen to your room (added points for smelly food) and leave it there (bonus prize for fetid fungal growth in coffee cup under bed).

Have her cook you a nice meal then tell her it’s ‘yucky’. Refuse to eat it then ask for snacks 10 mins later!

Come home pissed, have a widdle in a vase and leave it for her to empty.

Don’t turn off ANY lights. Forget your keys when you go out for the evening so you have to knock loudly to be let back in. Sleep with your bedroom light on, preferably whilst also wearing an eye mask. Borrow all her makeup, paint the walls with the most expensive stuff using your fingers and only leave a single square of toilet paper on the roll.

Put a new loo roll on the holder but just leave the old roll end on floor next to the toilet

Hang multiple coats on the bannister/hoover/chair back

Eat all the treats and put the empty wrappers back in the drawer

Dirty dishes exclusively to be kept in your room, or even more infuriatingly put in the sink that is actually slightly further away from the door than the dishwasher. Do not rinse them either way. That's someone else's job.

Ah, to be a teenager again. I think I did just about all the things on this thread 😂

Oh and you'll need a lift everywhere at random times. It doesn't matter if she's busy / in her PJs / in for the night. If you don't immediately jump up and chauffeur her to where she wants to go YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HER.

Share her Netflix password with at least 30 of your friends and deny all knowledge when she says all devices are being used.

Pull her charger out of your phone so hard it leaves wires hanging. Steal her partner’s charger and insist it was always yours anyway.

Dye hair black in a white bathroom that’s only 1 week old.

Leave the gas ring on and go out for the rest of the day. When it’s discovered by her exclaiming ‘it’s hot in this kitchen!’ claim no knowledge of having eaten anything EVER that needed to use a gas ring.

Leave straighteners on every time they’re used. When she dares complain that perhaps her house may burn down, roll your eyes, look huffily out of the window and snarl ‘they’ll go off in 30 minutes’.

Look incredulous when asked to wipe foundation on an old towel instead of the new carpet or Egyptian cotton towels.

Say ‘there’s nothing wrong’ while having a face like thunder, slamming doors and banging cupboards. When asked again, cry miserably and sniff loudly for at least theee hours.

Feed all of your mates her food. Top up the vodka bottle with water. Wait until she goes out of the house to work and sneak back in and do FA all day in the sun, laughing with mates. On her return, make sure your face is miserable for the rest of the evening.

After meals, claim you have some important work to do so you don’t have to clear up. This work can consist of lying in bed fully clothed pissing about on social media. Make sure any crisp packet is stuffed down the side of the bed and not in the bin which is within reach.

Eat all her Ritz crackers, nick off with the last bottle of coke zero, and drink the last Baileys latte that she's tried hiding in the salad crisper 🤬

Use al the toilet roll and never change it. Leave towels over floor of bathroom. Leave hair from bodily parts that you have trimmed so she finds it in the plug.
Oh here's a good one, leave a plate of food in the top of the double oven that's never used so it goes really green and mouldy so when she has friends round she's totally embarrassed.... particularly if cooking for a new boyfriend!!!!

Oh yes - wait until she’s in Barcelona and she’s left you alone at home, then text her to say you’ve lost your key. Include a picture of you sitting outside the back door, with the cat looking sadly at you.
You’re not sure what to do but hope she can help you from Barcelona.

I really really needed a giggle tonight! Thank you 😊

I cant believe no one has mentioned Toast Crumbs. You must make toast just after she has cleaned the kitchen. Butter the toast on the worktop. Get crumbs on worktop, in butter, extra points if you manage the kettle. Leave everything on buttery, crumbly worktop. All kids off, knife on sink.
Walk away eating toast without a plate. Points for every clean surface you can put the toast on to text or scroll on phone.

Also leave front door unlocked all day and when reminded. To lock it say "yes I know" in a huffy voice. Oh and use ALL the electricity in the world in the height of summer and not even care a jot

During the night scream at regular intervals until she gets up and gets you some milk.

😂👌🏼

WhatsApp asking to borrow money for the 'last time',daily.

Only communicate with her via text message or social media, even if sat in the same room.

Dye your hair black in any room with a cream carpet obvs !

Is there an immersion heater you can switch on and forget about?

Keep making mugs of tea and coffee until all mugs are used and left around your bedroom.
Soak the bath mat after a shower- not sure how this happens as it’s just damp after I use it but it just does .
Apply tan the day she changes the sheets so that your brown imprint is visible like the Turin shroud .

Lights on.
Wet towels everywhere.
Use all the milk.
Mugs in bedroom.
Go out and don’t come back until 4am and ignore all calls/texts.

Eat loads of crisps just before you eat a meal she's made and the say you can't eat what she's cooked

Works better when she's spent hours on it.

Wear all knickers and leave on bedroom floor but then complain that there are no clean ones because “nobody does any washing in this house!”