AIBU not to find this card cute? (Pic included)

[SteveHadTheRightIdea]

Yes, it’s a first world non-issue really.

However, in the context of our not fantastic relationship atm, which is something I’ve had a bit of help with on the relationships board, I actually find this a bit... depressing.

Thoughts? I am probably overreacting.

Erm I can't see anything ooh matron about this card, if anything they look quite innocent characters.

I think you have massively overthought this.

Just speak to him. Tell him what you are thinking. It could lead to a (sounds like) much needed conversation.

Maybe he is aware of how you feel so didn't want to get a gushy card that could feel insincere?
I think the card he picked is fine as a card and also for where your relationship seems to be.
I can't think of anything worse than you asking him to explain it. You'd be better spending time telling him what you would have preferred or, you know, focusing on the bigger issues.

I am focusing on the, you know, bigger issues lillith. This is a symptom of a bigger issue. It’s not really about the card.

I am trying to work on things with dh, but sometimes it helps to talk it through with someone else, which is why I’ve posted here. I have very few people to talk to intimately irl, so mumsnet can actually be a great support, as long as you’re thick skinned enough, which I thankfully am, when it comes to the opinions of strangers on the internet .

The thing is though, if i was to spend all my time pretending everything is great and giving tinkly little laughs or laughing it off, when actually I’m a bit hurt, in the long run, I would end up in a horrible marriage / divorced. The reason I think about the small stuff, which is symptomatic of a bigger issue, is because I want my marriage to be happy, not because I’m nitpicking for the hell of it.

So, I’m taking the “focus on the big stuff”, “you sound like hard work” etc comments, with a small pinch of salt. It may be ‘just’ a card to you, but to me it actually matters and talking about it on here helps me sort out my thoughts.

So thank you to everyone who has posted, even if some posts are a little lacking in empathy.

It's not my taste and dh would not buy it either.
I also find Pandora charms very generic. The type of thing you buy a work colleague when you have a collection.
Inoffensive yet only one step up from a bottle of plonk and a bunch of flowers from the garage.

And re telling him what I would prefer; no, I won’t bring it up again, as I’ve already said. The person making a fuss about the ugly thing, was dh who wanted to know if I liked it and did I get it. I won’t mention it again, unless he asks, in which case, I’ll answer.

Re the bigger issues though, we will have to keep talking about that. I don’t want to end up like so many couples I see irl, clinging on to an unhappy marriage. I’d rather we worked on things instead of going down the tinkly little laugh road .

Did I ‘get it’, as in did I understand it.

@Crunchymum

It said “and I never will be... *happy birthday, I love you so”. Which is actually quite lovely. Objectively, I can see that message is lovely and that the card isn’t meant to be offensive, even if it isn’t at all to my taste. It’s the context of things tbh, but it’s nothing insurmountable, as long as we keep talking.

Thanks again all .

*My birthday today, his was the day before yesterday.

For me, his message inside of "and I never will be" drastically changes the meaning behind the card. Without that, I still don't see it as offensive, not exactly hilarious but a joke. With his message, I read it as a reassurance that he loves you, wants to be with you and work through any issues.

Oh, and happy birthday.

At first I thought it was sweet. Then, the word 'yet' made me think, hmm, so there's a point when they will be bored. But I over analyse massively. You need to know the nature of the person who sent it really well, in order to know what the meaning & sentiment is.

@SteveHadTheRightIdea I really debated coming back immediately to say I wasn't necessarily saying you had overreacted, but that I'd be cautious not to, if it was me.

He got me a nice charm for a Pandora charm bracelet too...but I don’t have a Pandora charm bracelet, so that’ll have to be returned.

That's a bit crap, too.

His message in the card was sweet, but if this is all highlighting that he puts effort in but not quite enough, that's a worthy thing to consider. I hope you overcome the issues, it sounds like you both want to try, at leas

I got this last year, printed out and stuck on some card: