To think it's strange he won't tell anyone we are engaged.

[misssCa]

Saturday - we got engaged.

Saturday afternoon - I told my family.

Now Monday and he still hasn't told anyone not even his mother who he has seen three times since the engagement. Twice for a couple of hours and another for just a couple of minutes.

Surely he would want to share the excitement? I couldn't contain myself and I was so excited to tell my family. He just doesn't seem to be bothered about letting them know at all.

Is this normal? Was it just silly of me to tell people so soon?

Fully prepared to be in the wrong here.

I don’t think it’s weird either. I didn’t tell people as not one for the whole big day / proposal thing and the vows are the most important part so once a date was set for those we shared it.

Is he home yet?

We’ve been together almost two years

You’ve not been together very long in the grand scheme of things, perhaps he just needs some time to process it before everyone finds out. The average is 4.9 years together before getting engaged.

You should have discussed telling people together before jumping ahead. Like I said in a previous post, DH and I waited a week so we could enjoy it together before everyone else found out.

Surely you'd tell them when yo u were together, not when he just popped over for something else?

Okay, so maybe I over reacted? What do you think?

We spoke, he really is nervous, apparently. He tried to tell his Mum the first time he saw her after the proposal, but just couldn’t get the words out. He’s worried that she may think it’s too soon, or that she may say that she doesn’t approve, despite the fact we have all got along well for as long as I have known him and he’s also nervous it’ll go the opposite way and she may be over excited and be planning the wedding all in one go without anyone getting a word in edgeways.

I know my family won’t be the kind to blurt it all out all over Facebook so I’m not worried about his family finding out another way.

I’ve also made sure he knows that this is entirely his decision and that if he isn’t ready I’m more than happy to wait. He’s very adamant that he’s excited and happy, just really nervous to have the world knowing kind of thing.

We’ve decided to tell her together to hopefully ease his nervousness.

Yeah I think you over reacted but it sounds sorted now so just tell them together

Nice outcome. FWIW we married young and while we told family and friends when we got engaged and were very excited, when we ran into someone from dhs footy club he was not keen to tell them. I think he just felt anxious about the footy club reception of being engaged in his early 20s, they could be pretty brutal! and a bit of didn’t want to seem ‘uncool’ . He got over it, happily married many years later!

My OH was like this, we had the ring, had bought the house, he asked his brother for a week off a few months hence (wedding) it was all very weird, in the end I blurted it out to his Dad, the family were delighted. I think it was because he had been engaged before and she had broken it off. Also his whole upbringing had been strange with his mother so he was pretty buttoned up.

Been married years it all worked out .

Could he owe a family member money? So he's worried to let them know he's bought a ring etc? Or maybe he could be nervous if his mums prone to over reacting

Maybe he's just enjoying it?
If my DP proposed to me i'd not tell my family for a while and would ask him not to tell his - id love if i could just spend a few months enjoying it for us.

We've had special moments made less special by family in the past.
As soon as you tell people you open yourself up to have them 'pick the scab' - so how did he do it, when did he do it, do you like the ring, have you set a date, will you have a big wedding, what do your parents think, do you think he took too long (at least that's what our families do! - they're just excited and don't realize it can ruin the memory of a special time.)

Aaaahhhh, congratulations!!!!!

Phew....

We've had special moments made less special by family in the past.

This ^.

My mom had a fit when we told her we were engaged because my dad knew before her (they were in the process of divorcing). That was the first thing out of her mouth - asking if dad knew. DH had talked to my dad about it beforehand (traditional -we're old!). Still feel sick about it 30+ years later. She didn't want to be at all involved in planning - said she didn't believe in marriage any more.