Aibu to ask how to split holiday costs?

[sailorcherries]

After our to-ing and fro-ing over holidays we have decided to stay in the UK next year and we're looking at center parcs, haven, Butlins etc.
We did look at places such as Bluestone but with a toddler a 6+ hour drive was out the question. We live in the central belt of Scotland.

I had mentioned to my DSis that even those places seemed more expensive than last year and she agreed. She said that neither her or her fiance could afford a holiday next year, not even a week away at a lodge somewhere quiet. We need to go in school holidays.
She suggested we go together as it would be less expensive than separate and we can split up with the kids and so on. All agreed.

I told her that Haven or Center Parcs would be best as the other places we looked at didn't have the same facilities for a toddler and were very weather dependent - these places were less so.

We had a look at Center Parcs and DSis kept talking about how it was excellent as she always wanted to go but they couldn't afford even a midweek term time break but could now.

I, rather naively, asked about how we split the cost. DH and I have two kids, they would be alone, and we'd need a 3 bed place. I knew we would pay more and was happy to do so, depending on total cost.

Center Parcs came back at us spending almost £1000 (just less) and them spending less than half that. DSis was thrilled as it was almost £200 cheaper than her and her fiance going alone during term time. I said to her that the accommodation cost was okay but having looked the price of additional activities would really add up for the kids and we couldn't afford that. She doesn't have these additional costs.

She is adamant that she wants to go there. We could get a cheaper holiday, just DH and the kids, if we went to Haven but both her and her fiance would want their accommodation and it would cost them more.

It seems as though she is happy because she gets a cheaper holiday despite us paying more and she won't budge.
Wibu to say that if center parcs are her first choice then she should pay a little more towards the accommodation as both DH and I have explicitly said it's too expensive? We're at the point of just saying no, do your own thing.

I said no, too expensive. She said go for less days. I said still expensive for what it was. She said something along the lines of it being better.
I've been very clear throughout that CP is too expensive.

I don't know why you are tying yourselves in knots about this, though?

You don't really want to go to CP, you want to go to Haven. So just say no to CP. If your sister doesn't wish to join you at Haven that's that.

It's completely irrelevant what she might save if she went with you.

All that's relevant is a) if you can afford it and b) whether you value it enough to pay more for CP and your sister's company vs Haven just your nuclear family.

You don't value your sister's company enough to pay the CP 'tax'. That's fine.

But she's not being unreasonable or grabby or selfish or anything else in this scenario.

You came up with this plan because it was supposed to save you money. But it hasn't. So don't do it, and explain why! She knew that was the idea of joining up.

Surely then the short answer is just give her a clear "no" (again) and say it's because it's too expensive (again). If she wanted to subsidise you to make it affordable for both then she is free to offer that. You don't need to explicitly suggest it, it would be the obvious thing for HER to suggest if she valued your company over her £100-200. It sounds like she won't do that. End of conversation.

It sounds to me very clear that she doesn't want to go to Haven and you don't want to go to CP.

We do Centre Parcs a lot (ironically, here at the moment!) & a term time basic level villa would DEFINITELY cost your sister less than £450 so tell her to go then if she's that insistent on CP! Just tell her you can't afford it at the moment - simple - what's the issue? YOU decide how to spend YOUR money for YOUR family holiday, surely!!

It sounds to me very clear that she doesn't want to go to Haven and you don't want to go to CP

This-it sounds like a recipe for disaster!

She can want all she wants-just say you’re going to Havens. CP is lovely but we always spend a fortune there-it’s not cheap.

Daughter has used the codes from I think the sun newspaper and had very cheap caravan holidays. Haggerston Castle, think somewhere near Pitlochry and near Blackpool. Always had a caravan upgrade and been more than happy with the places.

When we go away with family, no matter who has more kids/no kids just split everything 50/50 for example if the cottage costs 500 then £250 each. Just keeps things simpler