To think female friendships and male friendships are different and thats normal?

[sweetnsuga123]

I was speaking to my boyfriend yesterday and he said me and my best friend are very close and we cross boundaries that most men wouldn't with their friend.

Me and my close friend have no issue with getting changed in front of eachother, we held hands on the plane a while ago because we were scared on the take off and when we go on nights outs we dance sexually as a joke and always say we love eachother in a platonic way. We are both comfortable doing this because we are straight and have boyfriends and find it amusing.

My boyfriend argued that it was odd because he'd never do that with a male friend. Aibu to think its not weird because female and male friendships are very different?

I don’t think I’ve danced sexually with a friend as a joke since I was about 15 because 🙄

That just sounds weird. I love my friends but I wouldn't act inappropriately on a dance floor for my partners amusement. It just seems very immature and a bit desperate for attention.

My friendships were more like that when I was young. Not so much now. I'm very close to my girlfriends but I wouldn't dance sexually with them as when you get older you realise how silly it looks.

I've never danced sexually with a same-sex friend.

I'm not surprised your BF thinks this is inappropriate.

He didnt say it was inappropriate or that he was jealous he just said that women can cross more boundaries than men in friendships. With regards to the sexual dancing it happened once as a joke with both of our boyfriends present.

Sorry OP it’s just that every example of female friendship from you reads like an early 90s chick lit version of teenage friendship.

@user1473878824 which means what?

Grow up I guess?

@user1473878824 Im in my early twenties...

And?

I dont see how Im immature @user1473878824

OP it'll change as you get older. No point people trying to explain it to you now, but I seriously doubt you'll be gyrating on your friends in 10 years time

he just said that women can cross more boundaries than men in friendships.

They're not boundaries being crossed though!

I've seen more than my fair share of men messing around dancing "sexually" with each other as a laugh than I have women maybe my friendship circles are odd

Ignoring the sexy dancing stuff, which I'm waaaay too old for now, the rest sounds like me and my friends. One of my best friend's mum died last week and we've all held her hand and told her we loved her. Because we do. Women are socialised to be more affectionate and open with our emotions so male and female friendships do tend to be different.

I think female friendships do cross boundaries without people realising. I hug my best friend all the time etc. but I think some guys are scared of coming across as gay so limit affection.

Crossing a boundary would mean it's not okay with one of you though.

Men who aren't gay are quite keen to maintain a reputation for not being gay. For reasons I don't want to spell out as it will only set several people off as to how wrong those reasons are, half of whom will have a go at me based on the stupid assumption I support those reasons.

Anyway, I agree this is very different for men.

Men and women do have different experiences and different friendships accordingly. Men don’t discuss periods, for a start, and thanks to society’s conditioning spend much less time, money and stress on body appearance and clothing.

Men stress less and spend less on appearance and clothing? Not in my experience

What you probably don't realise is that it's okay to hint at you and bestie being more than friends because lesbian sexual relationships are not thought to be as serious as heterosexual relationships and cater to the Male Gaze. Ever heard the term "barsexual"? That's what heterosexual women who heavily suggest sexual intimacy with other women in public places are often termed in the LGBT community. They usually do it for (male) attention. You'll never see them "dance sexually" with a same sex friend alone or somewhere without make heterosexual gaze.

Those beliefs stem from homophobia. For example, you have no idea how many poly men are fine with their partner having same sex relationships because they view them as no threat. Even with an established bisexual partner. However,the idea if their partner being intimate with a man is out of the question.

Homophobia also dictates how men can interact. Anything seen to be "gay" is discouraged unless you man it up by expressing it in a sporting context. So you're not a real man if you cry at your mum's funeral but crying because your sporting team lost is the epitome of masculinity.

@Kewlwifee yeah I agree. I also think because we know its platonic we dont view it as weird I havent ever given it a second thought.

Do you ever do it without the audience of a club or bar though? Honestly?

@Kewlwifee do we ever do what?

Dance sexually.