To think female friendships and male friendships are different and thats normal?

[sweetnsuga123]

I was speaking to my boyfriend yesterday and he said me and my best friend are very close and we cross boundaries that most men wouldn't with their friend.

Me and my close friend have no issue with getting changed in front of eachother, we held hands on the plane a while ago because we were scared on the take off and when we go on nights outs we dance sexually as a joke and always say we love eachother in a platonic way. We are both comfortable doing this because we are straight and have boyfriends and find it amusing.

My boyfriend argued that it was odd because he'd never do that with a male friend. Aibu to think its not weird because female and male friendships are very different?

@Kewlwifee er no never. That would be quite odd!

Would you do it anywhere public dancing with a partner is appropriate? Or only in a club/bar situation where your peers are?

For transparency, I think that sort of behaviour for laughs encourages the idea that female same sex relationships exist for entertainment.

Did you hear about those women on the bus in Camden who were beat up my teens because they wouldn't kiss for their gratification?

@Kewlwifee no we wouldnt. And perhaps amusement isnt the right word. Obviously when I was single I would dance on guys but now Im in a relationship it would be wrong to do that and that would be cheating. Its much easier to dance with a friend and avoid men in that way. But I guess it is in a trivial way because I see no sexual intent behind it.

Funny thing is that women in same sex relationships often still aren’t safe holding hands or dancing together in public. Fucked up world.

@kewlwifee I've also danced with gay male friends like that too because we know there is no sexual meaning behind it.

I dont think OP is in the wrong I understand what she means about no sexual intent.

Much more socially acceptable for young women to pretend to be porny-lesbians for male tittilation than it is for men to pretend to bum each other to turn women on, that's for sure.

Both my husband and I do sexual banter with our friends (don’t do sexy dancing at all with anyone so I use this as the nearest equivalent). I don’t think it’s necessarily a female thing.

@Branleuse i dont know why people have this idea that its to turn men on? And why people are honing on in the dancing aspect. Im just saying female friends are a lot more intimate.

You sound very immature. I agree with Kewl.

@timshelthechoice immature for doing what exactly?

I've seen men do all of that. And men / women friends doing a lot of that now. My husband will hug his friends (actually he is from a country where they kiss in greeting and goodbye etc) and most men I know are comfortable changing infeont of each other for sports.

Only thing I think is different is the sexual dancing. If you wouldn't do it just the two of you, you're basically doing it for other peoples entertainment and those who like to watch are straight men with 3some / lesbian fantasies. I dont think as many women have the same fantasies about gay men hence men don't bother with the whole sexy dancing bullshit, which I think is kind of offensive to gay people to be honest, to be pretending to be attracted to someone of the same sex 'as a joke'

Because it clearly is to titillate men. Either that or its to tittilate each other. Its a bit of a cliche.

It's weirding me out that you think of it as crossing boundaries. It's only crossing boundaries if one of you isn't comfortable with it. Also you are being dismissive as hell about female same sex relationships

I've never danced like that with any of my female friends because it's just not something I'm comfortable doing. I'll happily do it with male friends for a laugh though. I've also told both male and female friends that I love them. I know the guys in the group love each other, not heard them say it but I know they do. Hell, sometimes they kiss each other for a laugh. I guess it depends on the guys themselves.

i dont know why people have this idea that its to turn men on?

Because you've just said when asked if you ever do it by yourselves
er no never. That would be quite odd!
So clearly it's for your audience. And I'm guessing it's not the other women.

@TregunaMekoides its more to do with setting. When you're out you're drunk and silly and if you'd usually dance on men but can't anymore then its fine to do that with a friend because they know its not sexual. As followthefairytale said Ive also done it with gay male friends when drunk because theres no feelings there?

I've danced sexually with men and women because I'm bisexual. That was probably in front of people but the audience were not who it was for... I've danced like that with gay male friends for a laugh. And I've also done exactly what you are describing you do with girlfriends when I was your age about 100 years ago so I know exactly what/who it's for. So just own it. But you would be wise to pay attention to what @kewlwifee says about what it means on a deeper level because she's right.

My next questions would be whether you'd do it with a female friend you knew was gay/bi and why you'd fear a heterosexual or bisexual male friend wouldn't also be able to see such interactions as platonic?

sounds fine to me OP. I do agree that men and women’s friendships do tend to have different dynamics. Men and women are very different in so many ways.

My friendships with my husband’s friends (who are also my friends), are more intimate than any female friendship I have. I do know that’s not the norm, I just struggle with female friendships due to past experiences.

@Kewlwifee i wouldnt do it with a girl who was a lesbian because I wouldnt want her to get the wrong idea.

@TregunaMekoides what does it mean on a deeper level?

You're being very disingenuous op and obtuse with this "immature? How?" nonsense. I agree with pp, own it and grow up.

@sweetnsuga123 read @Kewlwifee posts re it's impact on female same sex relationships.