to think my daughter's being selfish?

[mummythedoctor]

I told my daughters (14 & 11) to start getting up earlier to practice for school. I did not expect to be woken up by my older one at 5:45! The shower is the other side of the wall from my bedroom, and she said she had to shower in the morning when she goes back to school. I asked her why it had to be 5:45am, and why she couldn't use the other (much worse, to be fair) shower. She told me she had to dry/straighten her hair and do her makeup which apparently takes an hour and a half? I don't mind her wearing makeup, but I'm being woken up an hour earlier than I need to. I pointed this out to her and her response was "you don't need to sleep for that long (9 hours), and I don't see how it's fair that you get to use the nice shower and I don't". I suppose I can understand wanting to shower in the morning, but AIBU to think she's being selfish?

(Lighthearted) I'm with your DD. I once did similar to my mum, when I was a teenager: I was trying to enjoy a lie-in on the first day after the end of term, she started going on about housework the moment I was awake (to her, if wasn't studying for exams, holidays = ten times more chores than usual, whole-house deep clean, or massive clearout), so I got the hoover out there and then, and started vacuuming in my jammies. She wailed "that's a horrible way of reacting"! I ignored her, and hoovered the whole house before having my breakfast. I'm not sure whether I'm proud of this moment or not.

Yes @wanderings this is what I would have done at that age too lol. Sometimes parents can be equally as dickish as kids!

I would tell her that hair washing takes place the night before (I never wash my hair in the morning) but I do shower in the morning.

But I would look into fixing the crappy shower.

You asked them to get up earlier. So when she does you call her selfish... 🤨

YABU. If someone had told me when I was 14 that I had to 'practice' getting up early and getting ready for school, I'd have felt insulted and infantilised and probably reacted similarly.

Am I the only one thinking that a 14 year-old shouldn't be wearing make up to school?

And if for some odd reason you think that is ok, don't you think that if it takes her an hour and a half to apply make up, maybe she needs to spend an hour watching you tube to figure out how to do it faster?

If she's an early riser anyway, why does she need to practice getting up early?

You can't have it both ways that you want her up early, but she has a morning routine, which means getting up earlier than you expect her to.

You asked her to practice getting up early and she has complied and worked out how much time she will need to get ready. Why should she use the rubbish shower? I congratulate your DD for doing as she was told and having a trail run. She may find she need less time than she thought and will tweak her timings over a period. I cannot see what she has done wrong.

Be happy she is getting up! Maybe fix the shower or get ear plugs or go to bed earlier?

You all sound selfish, selfish parents raise selfish kids. You’re selfish for telling them to get up early and then complaining and she’s selfish for not realising that the shower would wake you.

Haha. Love your dd. Very pa. why on earth does she need to practice getting up earlier?

Hahahaha

That one back-fired on you

Suck it up sister cos it's your own fault

plus 5.45 isn't even that early. For those of us who get up at 5.30 every work day....

This is a problem entirely of your own making 😂

Why does a 14yo need to practise getting up early?!

Practicing getting up early - you asked for it!

Leave them to enjoy the last lie ins. They’ll get into the swing of getting up earlier when it happens.

You've got a shit load of unreasonable rules haven't you? They can't do right for doing wrong. She's to get up earlier, but got to do it at a certain time, use a certain time, not use a certain shower.

On this one you're in the wrong.

I’d tell her it’s ridiculous she needs an hour and a half to get ready. Tell her she can use that shower at a more reasonable time, like 6.30. That will give you an extra 45 minutes’ sleep and her still plenty of time to get ready.

It’s not the first time I’ve heard of someone making their kids practise getting ready for school by making them get up early while still on holiday. I’ve had a couple of friends relay this theory to me before.
I think it’s absolutely needless and rather joyless but I just went hmm..and changed the subject while thinking they need to take the stick out of their backside.
Sorry OP but WHY do you think your kids needs practise at this?
Worst case scenario...absolute worst case...they might be a bit overtired in the first week back as they re-adjust. But probably not even.

i dont blame you for being annoyed. a shower and hair wash before school is excessive if its that early

otoh you might learn to sleep through it

Yabu.

Fix the bad shower and leave her alone. You told her to get up early so she did. Maybe you should practise what you preach 😉

Why are they having to practice now? Where are you geographically? Mine don't go back for another 2 and a bit weeks.

Wouldn’t bother me, but 9 hours sleep is a distant memory unless we are talking over 2 nights so her shower wouldn’t keep me awake.
I don’t think kids should wear makeup to school but applaud her leaving time to prep. I’d make sure she matched the prep time with homework time though once school starts or no more makeup.

YABU, it's much more hygienic to shower in the morning than at night (what's the point of a shower if you're going to bed? Nobody smells fresh or feels clean when they wake up).

I shower at 5am every day so I can have a couple of hours to chill/do my hair etc before work. I can't wake up properly without a shower.

YANBU to expect not to be woken up by your dd in the shower at 5.45.

YABVVVU to expect an early riser 14 yo to practice getting up for school. It sounds as if she’s perfectly capable of doing that alone.

You’re bringing up a future adult. Time for her to take responsibility for herself.