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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

pre labour - how long??

102 replies

Subeccoo · 17/08/2019 19:27

I'm asking for how long your labour went on before you were officially in labour!!
Dd is well over 24 hours of irregular but agonising contractions now, one trip to hospital, several broken naps and many many tears

Poor girl, this is really long, closer to 36 hours I'd say and no sign of any pattern yet even though some of the contractions are up to a minute long.

Aibu to think she should have her darling baby in her arms by now? I know I am a bit....

Hit me!!

OP posts:
AmIRightOrAMeringue · 18/08/2019 08:45

3 days, contractions every 3 min, too painful to do anything, I was awake the entire time but they didn't get closer together

The only thing that helped temporarily was a bath, if you can use someone elses (though it did slow 5hings down and I had to have my husband with me as I kept nodding off in between contractions)

What I wish I'd done (and did in my second labour) was go in and insist on a bed and pain relief. I got pethidine and it let me sleep. The first time I had retained placenta as my body was just too exhausted to push it out. Staying awake for days before pushing a baby out just isn't good for anyone

Both times it was progressing so slowly for me even when I was in established labour that I had to be put on the hormone drip and even then it was much slower than normal and they were talking about a C section. The second time I pushed for the drip much earlier as i could see it was going that way

I'd suggest going back to the hospital saying she isn't coping and making a nuisance of yourself til she get some more pain relief

Hope it goes well!

littlemissalwaystired · 18/08/2019 09:20

Make sure she's eating and drinking little and often, being ketotic is going to worsen her pain and slow things down.

Blindandfrozen · 18/08/2019 09:40

I was induced recently (due to gd) and the girl opposite me had been admitted for induction due to having painful contractions for three days. They decided to induce labour. Can you see if that’s a possibility? Even just a sweep? Also, you sobbing will not be helping op. Pull yourself together and give practical assistance

ItsMischerWavy · 18/08/2019 09:47

High pain threshold here, contractions were coming regularly and had ramped up so I went in as per advice - got told there was no way I was in labour because I was too calm but they'd look anyway. I was 1 or 2 cm dilated. Got sent home and by the time I got there (20 min drive) Contractions were thick and fast. My mum made me get straight back in the car and go back in. They went to examine me, my waters broke and my daughter was born 25 mins later. Was my first baby and I got an apology from the midwife who sent me me away lol.

Bumblenut · 18/08/2019 09:55

The poor thing. Sounds similar to mine and others in this thread. First twinge was on the Tuesday, baby arrived Saturday evening after ‘acute stress reaction’ (think that’s a panic attack?) and a c section. Baby not in distress, but I was. Had my next one by planned c section.

surlycurly · 18/08/2019 10:11

Started contracting every 5-7 mins in the Saturday. Sent home after hospital visit on Sunday. Sent home again ok Monday (1cm). Refused to go home when I visited on Tuesday after three nights of no sleep. Finally went into established labour after 3 and a half days. Laboured fairly well for 12 hours. Pushed for 3. Eventually heartbeat dropped and I was rushed to surgery. She was born via c section. She was back to back and was stuck. No way I could have delivered her myself as they tried suction and forceps. I hope things improve. I did swear by my tens machine though. Good luck OP xx

Snowflake9 · 18/08/2019 10:55

I am pretty sure my latent phase began properly 7pm on Friday night. Period pains and back ache and contractions. They aren't regular or have a pattern but something is definitely happening.

I have read that the latent phase can last week's!

Sorry to read that your DD is having such a rough time of it. They should admit her if she is in unbearable pain, she is going to wear herself out at the warm up, when she needs her energy for the race.

Is she panicking? If so, you need to find a way to calm her. Keep her cool, and stick a film on.

When I am getting contractions my DH just continues our conversation (as they aren't that strong at the moment)

Also , is she peeing regruarly? She needs an empty bladder for baby:s head to be optimal for dilation.

AnxietyDream · 18/08/2019 11:02

5 days with my first.

1 day with my second. I think fear/worry/lack of oxytocin was the big difference - the second time, after trying eating spicy food and walking which did nothing, I put on happy music and danced like I was at a 90s rave, laughing at myself and before I knew it I was in real labour.

WhoLettheCatOut · 18/08/2019 11:02

Any update OP? I didn't mention but I was also back to back which apparently does take longer. My second wasn't and it was only 12 hours from start to finish plus I managed to eat throughout which was a revelation!

ludothedog · 18/08/2019 11:17

3 days for me. I was so exhausted by the time came to pushing. DD was transverse and that was what was causing all the issues.
Your poor DD. I wish you all a safe birth.

It does puss me off though, all the glib comments about breathing better - that's fine for when everything is in the right place and to manage for a few hours but for days at a time? Even the most stoic woman will struggle.

katmarie · 18/08/2019 11:34

Mine started about 9pm on Sunday, and I delivered 4am the following thursday. What was delaying mine was that my bladder had filled and blocked closed, so baby's head was making contact with my bladder, not my cervix, which meant labour wasnt progressing. It was excruciatingly painful, and the contractions would ramp up, and then tail off again. In the end I went to the hospital (for the third time in 3 days) and refused to leave until they helped. They ended up breaking my waters, which were full of meconiun, everything moved pretty fast after that and baby was here 12 hours later.

A Tmi question but how much liquid is she passing when she goes to the loo? I was wee'ing, but only very small amounts, which I put down to not having drunk as much water as I should have, but in reality it was the bladder exit being swollen and mostly closed. If she's not passing a lot of urine, get her back to the hospital and insist shes seen and her bladder checked too.

Original poster
Subeccoo · 18/08/2019 11:49

All quietish here. She's in my parents massive bath (without the Jacuzzi function) and I'm lying on their bed listening to her. Things have slowed right down again although pains are under 10 mins at the mo, but she's coping.

Have got a tens machine for later but for now she says she's staying in the bath forever :)
To the poster that berated me for crying, have a heart, I've been watching my baby in severe pain for more than 48 hours and had a cry in private Hmm I've got a joint of beef in the oven, am rubbing her back, driving her to hospital, running to the shops whenever she fancies something, running back and forth to see my 13yo, and existing on little sleep. I'm doing my best!!!

OP posts:
aewwwenxt · 18/08/2019 11:57

I started having contractions on the Sunday, though very mild and didn't always feel them - the monitor was telling me! Then Wednesday they ramped up a bit but I was still only 2cm from that Sunday. Induced the Friday (planned for preeclampsia). Still nothing changed until the Saturday night when I went from 2 to 4 then in an hour and a half I was 9cm! Baby was born at 10am that Sunday.
If it's really bad the hospital should keep her in? I was always told if I felt like I couldn't manage with the pain relief at home to go in and it sounds like she might be at that point?
And don't feel bad for crying, my mum was the same!

ludothedog · 18/08/2019 12:04

Sube you're doing great. Just what your DR needs just now. Soon you will have your grandchild with you. Horrible to see someone you care about in so much pain, especially when there is not much you can do about it.

Enjoy your roast (off now to buy beef for roasting)

DorisToday · 18/08/2019 12:35

My first lasted 10 days and it was the most horrific time, mainly due to the sleep deprivation. The bath helped massively. The tens machine helped a bit. Rubbing of lower back really helped too.

Really hope things move along soon. Hopefully you’ll be able to help her afterwards by holding baby and letting her sleep at every small opportunity.. that’s what I would have appreciated!

pandarific · 18/08/2019 14:09

Glad the breathing is helping even a little bit. Thanks

When she's out of the bath can you grab a scarf or sheet and you and bf try some of these rebozo positioning techniques? It's possible the baby's in a bit of a funny position so these could help.

If she's not any better after these I'd take her in again for another listen in to make sure all is okay with the baby.

pleasedontbreakthechain · 18/08/2019 15:40

How are things now OP?

Original poster
Subeccoo · 18/08/2019 18:54

She's in a lot of pain but no change in terms of length of contractions (45 secs) and irregular gaps.

I'm going to take her back later, if she wafts to, she's exhausted and so upset.

It's been more than 60 hours which I now know it can be much more, but that's a very long time to suffer Flowers the tens machine isn't providing much help.

OP posts:
surlycurly · 18/08/2019 19:44

Bless her. Tell her the women of Mumsnet are all behind her. And I'm not being sexist, it's just those of us who've delivered children one way or another know her angst. ThanksGin

TheArtfulScreamer1 · 18/08/2019 19:49

OP the labour I posted about on the first page was only in March so I've a long way to go before I'm potentially supporting her through a pregnancy however I know if she was in pain and I couldn't make it better I'd also cry and did when my daughter had her 8 week jabs thankfully I was less hormonal by her 12 and 16 week ones. One of the reasons I didn't have my mum as a birth partner was because I knew how much she'd struggle seeing me in pain. I'm sure you're doing your best and fingers crossed you have a baby to snuggle soon.

harper30 · 18/08/2019 19:54

I really hope things get going for her soon, I really sympathise, my latent labour started on a Friday morning and I didn't give birth until the Monday at 7.30pm.
I didn't even really know that latent labour was a thing until I was in the middle of day two of contractions and had no baby to show for it 😂😂😂
Once I was 4cm a tens machine did really help so I'm glad you've got one ready. Because I'd not slept properly for a couple of days before the birth I found it really helpful having energy drinks and ice pop lollies to have whilst in more active labour in the birth pool, just to get through it, as contractions made me feel too sick to eat actual food. Might be worth stocking up on those things before she goes in to hospital again.
Can you convince her to go for some walks? That helped me on the Saturday/Sunday, as well as bouncing on the birth ball for like 48 hours straight.
Let us know how it all goes if you can!!!

Greywalls12 · 18/08/2019 20:06

Oh that sounds awful.
Mine started on a wednesday eve all throughout the night, irregular and so painful. Went in early thurs morning but only 1cm. Given a sweep and sent home. Had a bath, barely any contractions all thursday until about 5pm and still irregular. Went in at 7pm although they didn't want to because i was still quite irregular. Turns out i was 5cm and DS born just after midnight.
My contractions never got regular either!
Wishing your DD all the best! I'd probably take her back tonight and get checked again

kb1992 · 18/08/2019 20:12

Have you tried cocodamol? I was advised to take this in early labour as my contractions were really painful really early on. I don't know if it helped though, as soon as I took them my waters went and it suddenly sped up

MissRabbitNeedsAHoliday · 18/08/2019 20:19

I was in early labour for around 2 days, third day my contractions really ramped up and I went back to hospital, was 5cm. Never went any further than 5 and after 12 hours they had to break my waters and put my on the drip, was around another 14 hours before dd was born. She was back to back which they didn't realise until I was in on the third day. If her contractions don't seem to be getting any more regular or more often go back to the hospital. They didn't think I needed to go back in but dh insisted and by then my body was under stress and my heart rate was through the roof. Your DD knows her own body and if she feels like she needs to go back in, even if it's just for more painkillers she should. I hope its not too much longer for her, and you sound like such a lovely, caring mother.

Original poster
Subeccoo · 18/08/2019 22:50

We have 4cm dilation and they're keeping her in as she needs consultant care.

She's on the gas and air and hilarious.

Thanks so much for the support the last 24 hours, I will update!!

OP posts: