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AIBU?

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Original poster

pre labour - how long??

102 replies

Subeccoo · 17/08/2019 19:27

I'm asking for how long your labour went on before you were officially in labour!!
Dd is well over 24 hours of irregular but agonising contractions now, one trip to hospital, several broken naps and many many tears

Poor girl, this is really long, closer to 36 hours I'd say and no sign of any pattern yet even though some of the contractions are up to a minute long.

Aibu to think she should have her darling baby in her arms by now? I know I am a bit....

Hit me!!

OP posts:
lifecouldbeadream · 17/08/2019 20:42

It was 4 days of slow labour for me until it really got going.

From memory ( and I’m not a screamer) the screaming wasn’t the thing they were looking for..... it was inability to talk through contractions. So if you’re on the phone to labour ward and talking all the way through- you aren’t there yet....

I think fear and lack of sleep made me slightly irrational. 4 days with no sleep was horrendous.

Silversun83 · 17/08/2019 20:49

Another one who can literally feel her pain. Sounds similar to mine.
I started having contractions around 2am Tuesday morning, had lost plug by midday, then had a sweep.. only around 1cm dilated. Contractions at this point every 10-20 mins and pretty bearable.

By Tuesday evening they'd increased to every 5 mins and were horrific. I couldn't eat nor sleep. This went on for 48 more hours!!! They were literally every 4/5 mins lasting about a minute/90 seconds a time and I'd been back to the birthing center two more times but I was still only 2cm so they wouldn't admit me and the only 'pain relief' they offered me was aromatherapy oils Hmm. I was in so much pain I couldn't sleep and the nights were loooooong.

Finally went back Thurs around
4pm and I was 4cm so they let me stay. However, despite them breaking my waters, after another 12 hours I was no further so got blue-lighted to hospital, put on the drip and given an epidural (the relief was immense). However DD got distressed (I don't blame her!!) so was rushed into theatre for a crash csection around 11am. So, around 81 hours?!!

DD was in a particularly awkward back-back position and at one point the consultant insinuated that she was too big for my pelvis.. I don't think there was any way she would have come out naturally.

Baby might have turned so possible could be in a back to back position? Have heard that with a back to back baby, contractions at 2cm can feel like normal contractions at 8cm.

To be honest, I'm not sure why I put up with it for so long with no plan (other than wait!) or pain relief (but I didn't know any different, was in so much pain and seriously sleep-deprived). So if you can advocate for her, they might be able to help things along, maybe break her waters or give her some pain relief?

Marshmallow91 · 17/08/2019 20:55

I've just had my first baby 6 months ago.

At 10am I'd finished peeing, and heard a pop. My waters broke and mucous plug dropped out. I had some cereal, got ready and went into hospital.

By about 1, contractions were getting intense. By 3 or 4pm they were unbelievable. Turns out she was trying to come down but due to very recent surgery (a couple months before I got pregnant) I had loads of scar tissue around my cervix so she was trying to come down but I wasn't dilating.

Doctor came in and massaged my cervix for about 15 minutes until it popped open, then I was 4cm dilated. Ended up getting an epidural about 10pm and at 4.28am, after 50 minutes of active pushing, my daughter was born.

I'm still in a daze thinking about it, because from about 12pm until I got the epidural, I can't remember much, just snippets like being in a rage because their baths didn't cover my enormous bump, being sick, and groaning on the floor in all floors.

I'll forever remember, however that the anesthesiologists name was "Mark" because I was shouting between contractions for about 2 hours "you said Mark would be heeeeeere" Grin

pandarific · 17/08/2019 20:57

Okay, positive that baby isn't back to back. Can you play her this and do the breathing with her? Get her in the bath with some co-codomol and breathing?

Bf should be being a bit more useful than sitting around looking terrified; can you get him to do some lower back massage, or send him out to boots for a tens machine?

Original poster
Subeccoo · 17/08/2019 21:06

I've left them alone. He's being brilliant, talking her through each contraction.

I think the last few were close together but no hope up as this has happened loads of times over last day or so. Boots is shut obvs but I called them this morning, and Mothercare and neither hire tens machines, wish I'd bloody bought her one now though.

They don't have a bath!!

I'm just pacing downstairs, I'll do the washing up and wait until they call me up

OP posts:
Crotchgoblins · 17/08/2019 22:17

I was always told to call if contractions reached a certain frequency OR if I couldn't cope with the pain and needed help. If she's starting to get exhausted she will need help.

Can she tolerate being on all 4s as that can help with wiggle room for baby? Look up spinning babies website.

NoWordForFluffy · 17/08/2019 22:23

About 30 minutes. At 8.30 I was 2cm and fully dilated by 10.30. It was a bit speedy!

IVEgottheDECAF · 17/08/2019 22:29

When was she examined? Sounds like she needs to go in again

pandarific · 17/08/2019 23:08

Agreed, time to go in again. Hope she's in her way now op. Thanks

SarahBeeney · 18/08/2019 00:10

This happened to me too. Was bloody awful. I was exhausted but too painful to sleep.
I remember also going for a wee and it setting off a contraction.
Contractions started on Tuesday morning,baby born Thursday afternoon by C section as I didn't dilate even after the drip.
Grim.

SarahBeeney · 18/08/2019 00:11

If she goes in and has an epidural the relief will be immense.

Good luck to your DD. I know it was hard for my Mum to see me in pain.

Original poster
Subeccoo · 18/08/2019 05:46

We went in. They said she's not in labour again! They gave her oramorph and she really really worked on her breathing.

Got her to shower, made herbal tea, put on relaxation music and she slept from 1-5 coping with the pain.
It has all worn off and she's back to how she was last night.

At least she's had some sleep. I can't believe her poor luck, first twinge was Thursday night, she's getting a rough ride.

OP posts:
Toneitdown · 18/08/2019 05:55

Sometimes contractions don't become regular. It's rare but it can happen. Just something to bear in mind.

Also her not coping because the pain is so bad is a perfectly valid reason to go back to the hospital and ask for more pain relief. If she's really suffering then take her back in.

Nabana · 18/08/2019 06:08

Extremely painful pre labour contractions first thing Sunday morning until late Monday night when I went hospital, gave birth Tuesday morning.

Woodward12 · 18/08/2019 06:35

My contractions never became regular, or particularly close together, so they kept telling me not to come in. Good thing I didn't listen as I was 9cm dilated!

SofiaAmes · 18/08/2019 06:44

I had 30 hours of excruciating "pre-labour" in St. Mary's waiting room before they finally agreed to put me in a birthing room and give me an epidural (took 5 hours to come up with an anesthetist to administer it) and then eventually 10 hours after the 30 hours (40 in total) had to do an emergency cs because I had been so poorly neglected and my ds' heart was failing. They almost killed my ds in the process. It was shameful that they did that to me and him and 18 years later I still am traumatized. With my 2nd, I had 5 hours of "real" labor and a vbac and no part of it was even remotely as painful as the "pre-labor." I have never met anyone in the US who was forced to undergo so much pain in child birth. My treatment was barbaric and would never have happened to a man (obviously in other types of medical circumstances).

Original poster
Subeccoo · 18/08/2019 07:26

Some of these stories Flowers you're all amazing.

I had 3 pretty long births but I've never ever seen or known anyone with one like this.

OP posts:
pleasedontbreakthechain · 18/08/2019 07:36

Two weeks here with my second (a few days with my first) - though I wasn’t screaming with it. I had several days of quite intense contractions that would come and go and not really settle into a pattern. Several nights going to bed expecting to be woken in the early hours. Eventually my waters broke and things got started but it was still slow for me. First birth was an induction for ‘failure to progress’ and forceps at 47 hours post waters. Second birth was 21 hours after waters, naturally in the pool.

The screaming in pain seems unusual. Is she usually dramatic? Things are more likely to get going if you can get her to calm down a bit as it sounds like she might be fighting her body (speaking from experience). If she’s usually stoic, then it’s probably a case of keep going back. Early labour is usually more uncomfortable than screaming. But at some point they will probably induce and that can be harder all round. Are the contractions visible to them on their monitors?

Where are the pains? For me the cervix opening ones are very obviously low and between my legs. Everything before that seems to have been strong braxton hicks.

Can she watch a funny film? Find something to distract? Hopefully things get moving soon

Original poster
Subeccoo · 18/08/2019 07:46

No she's not overly dramatic with pain but certainly after the oramorph and breathing exercises last night we got her reasonably settled for a few hours.

They say the amount of pain she's in is normal for latent labour and they want her back when it's every 5 minutes, lasting 1 minute each.

OP posts:
pleasedontbreakthechain · 18/08/2019 08:01

See that worries me a little because in my experience latent labour isn’t painful as such, but it is very uncomfortable. I quite happily went for some slow walks, went out to lunch, had dinner with friends during latent labour. Are you using a tens? That can help with distraction. I’d also think about getting her on her knees resting over the birthing ball because the reason both of mine were slow was to do with baby not being properly down on my cervix. Once they came down it was quicker.

But having said all of this, if she’s climbing the walls I’d take her back for another assessment. Just to check on how baby is doing - can she still feel movement? The oramorph might have helped things though.

cindersrella · 18/08/2019 08:01

Oh gosh this sounds awful. Has she got a birthing ball or has she tied a bath etc. I have seen on YouTube etc films of ladies dancing and moving around to help with labour pains which helps with a pain.... not sure if she can though OP x

Original poster
Subeccoo · 18/08/2019 08:32

pleasedontbreakthechain - she can't do much other than rock on her ball and make it to the toilet.

I'm going to send someone to Mothercare for 10am to buy a tens machine.

She's sobbing in her room and I'm now sobbing in the one next door, this is so unfair and so shit.

OP posts:
IVEgottheDECAF · 18/08/2019 08:33

How often are the pains op?

ShutTheFridgeUp · 18/08/2019 08:36

11 fucking days with my second.. ELEVEN! It was absolute torture. Once my waters broke it was all pretty swift though. Fingers crossed things get moving for her soon

pleasedontbreakthechain · 18/08/2019 08:43

When were you last seen? Maybe go back in. It won’t be easy on her body if she’s scared and upset. Go and see what they say x