To think that talking about ‘your inheritance’ when the person who you assume will leave you money is still alive is bloody disgusting?

[BasinHaircut]

I hope that the benefactor lives another 30 years just to piss them off TBH.

A friends husband does this all the time. He likes to talk about money anyway and think it's an insecurity thing where he has to prove himself in a group of people. He isn’t wealthy, doesn’t own a home, no savings, but earns well, spends well and loves well.

Is counting on his wife's inheritance to set him up for life but is approaching 40 already and MIL could live another 15 years easily and isn’t exactly wealthy either, just owns her own home.

I can’t bear someone essentially waiting for someone else to die to get their grubby mitts on some cash.

No- inheritance tax kicks in quite low. £325,000 for one person (and £650,000) on the second death if the first death left everything to a spouse.

How much do you think your house is worth?

The average house if owned by an elderly person means they get dragged into the IHt rate quite quickly. People who would never in a million years consider themselves to be 'rich' are in that bracket.

And Inheritance tax is a tax on money that has already been taxed to buggery. Income tax. Capital gains tax. Stamp duty.

Oh- and the level that IHT kicks is has NOt been increasing. It used to increase roughly at the rate of inflation. It has been frozen since circa 2009. If it had increased in line with inflation it would now be at £423,00

(This is my Mastermind subject).

Unless you come from mega rich family trusts territory, surely the sensible thing is to make your own way in life and not assume any windfalls are coming your way. Then if they come, it’s a bonus and you decide what to do with them at that point.

As a PP above mentioned to have inherited a person will have lost a much loved relative. I am in that position and during the working through of the legal stuff it was found that a younger person had attempted to get hands on some of the old and dying person's money and property. A stop was put to this.
After the money was transferred to the rightful beneficiary the same younger person allowed their partner to start making demands on the beneficiary. The outcome was that the younger relative did not get what was willing to be given because they did not stop their grasping partner trying to get money from a bereaved person.
The end result is that all possible and legal efforts will go into making as little money available to that younger couple AND their children because of the grasping

That's so wrong, I'd call him out on it tbh! I'd rather have family members alive than money.

Yes it is vile! My FIL told me he once heard my BIL telling his then GF that ‘All this will be mine one day’ whilst standing and admiring his (FIL’s) garden. What he didn’t take into account for some reason was my DH’s existence (his DB!) so don’t know why he assumed it would all be left to him if anything was to be left. When it came to my FIL writing his will he didn’t want to leave BIL anything but did out of guilt in the end. BIL’s DW is the same as apparently she gets annoyed at her parents going on holidays because she feels they’re ‘spending her inheritance’ which is unbelievably grabby (she’ll also have to share any inheritance with her sibling).

I’m glad my DP’s won’t have anything to leave once they’ve gone as they don’t own property and aren’t well off as I can only begin to imagine the grabbiness of one of my siblings.

When me or my DH go in the end, we’ll be leaving our house to charity as I don’t want any family to benefit from us, harsh as that may seem.

I can see this from both sides. There was an "issue" regarding my parents will, which caused a huge family fall out which was never resolved (whole thread about that on its own!). If it had been discussed previously, things might be different.
When it came to mine and dh's will, it was complicated in so much as it's a second marriage for both of us, with children on both sides. We've made damn sure they are all treated equally, I've written a letter for them explaining exactly how things are left and why, given them all copies about everything and expressly told them to ask any questions they might have. There's no way I'd want any of the children, natural or step, to feel as shit as my parents made me feel.

Oh and quite often we joke about spending their inheritance and the kids joke about finding us a cardboard box in a doorway, rather than paying for a decent care home, but it's all done openly.

I’d also say in terms of spending money on care, I’ve visited relatives now in different homes and there is a world of difference. The worst was an LA funded cheap home that was one of the most depressing places I’ve ever stepped foot in. The best one was like a hotel. I know which one I’d rather my close relatives went into if they needed care later on.

My parents have told me that everything is split equally between me and my 3 step siblings and who the is solicitor who holds their wills, but we don'treally talk about it, I have said that I would be upset if my step siblings got any of my grandmas jewellery when mum goes it's not worth anything but is sentimental, although my dad got my mum a beautiful ring for xmas I jokingly my step sis I would fight her for it when the time came.

I had a friend who did this. It was her FIL. He sadly did die and left it all to his wife (the step mum) I was bloody thrilled! They were fuming and now tell everyone who will listen that if she doesn't leave it all to them when she dies and instead leaves it to her family they will take them to court. They had been together 20 years she was entitled to the money!

I don't know how anyone can have great expectations with respect to inheritance these days unless the person in question is terminally ill. DH's parents live frugally and have a lovely home in a desirable village worth c.400K, plus considerable savings. My parents have two homes plus savings. However that would all be wiped in a few years should one or more from each set of parents need residential care, and there's a history of dementia on both sides. It would be madness to count on getting any significant inheritance from either side.

I am quite aware of this but DH and his brother still talk theoretically about what they'd do with the house (conversations usually at DMIL's instigation to be fair, she's very upfront and practical).

My mum does this and I think it is horrible. She is selling my GF's (her DF) second house (left to him by his parents) to pay for my GF's care as she has POA. She keeps talking about how "she" has to spend x amount on fixing things in the house and how she can keep any remaining money away from his new wife. GF has been married for 20 years to her and she did a significant amount of care for a number of years before he had to go in to a home. I am constantly telling my DM it is not her money.

IAskToo thats potentiality idiotic advice, do you not understand deliberate deprivation?

we talk about our inheritances often.. but that's my family's dark sense of humour. we will for an example have an argument over dinner about mum and dad's ornate (and frankly highly desirable) antique door knocker.

Slightly off topic, but all these stories about grabby offspring, or spouses of grabby offspring, should make us all cautious when it comes to the introduction of laws permitting euthanasia.

My best friend is a probate lawyer and some of the tales she tells (without naming names obviously!) would make your hair stand on end.

Drives me nuts. YANBU.
I have this on both sides. I have two older siblings who do this. Bearing in mind should we be left anything it's a 6 way split so hardly life changing and more importantly it's the only capital she has which me and other siblings are grateful for should she need it for her care later on.
DP's brother is just the same but even worse, going as far as earmarking items around the house he wants and being very vocal about it. Luckily I have little to no contact with him these days so I don't have to listen to it.
I hope there is nothing by the time it happens and when it does it's many many years from now.

In my work I meet a lot of very elderly people who have outlived children.

He sounds like a prize knob it’s horrible to speak like that about anyone. In my family the only people I could inherit from are my grandparents and they where told years ago to spend their money and enjoy while they can and that’s exactly what they are doing I don’t need anyone’s money memories are worth more than money. When I lost my Nan 2 years ago I got nothing off her not even an ornament it doesn’t bother me I have the memories.

There's a very pissed off man in DH's family at the moment over this. He was one of two brothers and since the death of their father about 15 years ago he's always 'joked' about his mother spending their inheritance. He's had plans for the house extension he will do with it for that whole time.

Three years ago his brother died. He was married and had no children so since then he's been making plans for the whole inheritance coming to him. As his mother got frailer he's been planning a bigger and better house extension. He's realtively wealthy himself, he could easily afford it.

He's currently absolutely furious because he's discovered that when his mother re-wrote her will after the death of his brother she split things equally between him and his sister-in-law.

His mother explained her reasons in it and he's still livid. Has been taking advice about contesting it and all sorts. Even though his sister-in-law lived with his mother for the last three months providing 24 hour care as she was desperately frightened of a care home. His sister-in-law was also under the impression that she was being left the family photos (he openly didn't want them), some mementos from the house and 5k so it wasn't about the house or money for the DIL.

All a bit pointless- if they go into care there won’t be much money.