To think that talking about ‘your inheritance’ when the person who you assume will leave you money is still alive is bloody disgusting?

[BasinHaircut]

I hope that the benefactor lives another 30 years just to piss them off TBH.

A friends husband does this all the time. He likes to talk about money anyway and think it's an insecurity thing where he has to prove himself in a group of people. He isn’t wealthy, doesn’t own a home, no savings, but earns well, spends well and loves well.

Is counting on his wife's inheritance to set him up for life but is approaching 40 already and MIL could live another 15 years easily and isn’t exactly wealthy either, just owns her own home.

I can’t bear someone essentially waiting for someone else to die to get their grubby mitts on some cash.

I tell you what i find sad.....

I used to work in a law firm as a probate secretary.... it made me sad when you had older people living really really frugal lives. They would be afraid to spend money on heating etc. Then they would die with loads in the bank- one occasion one woman died literally living in squalor, and she had over £3 million. I just wished they had spent as much as they possible could to make their lives more comfortable.

My parents have said openly they are spending everything they have in order to really enjoy their old age for as long as they can. i really support that.

The only time I mention “my inheritance” is when I comment to my Dad that he is “spending my inheritance well” when we talk about his trips, nice meals and fine wine. I don’t expect there will be anything left for me because he is, quite rightly, having a great time.

My sis does this, she has no intention of going back to work (she's 41) married to a man who's parents are fairly well off and she's openly admitted to me she's looking forward to her DH inheriting the lot, lazy money grabbing mare, I think the FIL has sussed her out and I hope he leaves the lot to the cats home.

I tell my adult dc that we are SKI ing (spending kids inheritance)

Don’t worry, by the time the MIL goes the Tories will have made her sell her house to pay for elderly care so he’ll get nothing.

She's an idiot if she hasn't got rid of her assets to prevent this happening. She needs a Will Trust. Inheritance tax is purely voluntary tax that can be avoided. I really wish more people understood this and planned for it.

GM is 100, Mum is 70

Mums inheritance will be split 3 ways, with her siblings.

Good job they didn’t wait to own their own homes.

DHs ex wife wanted to factor in her stbXMILs wealth into divorce settlement even though MIL is still fit and healthy several years on. Another lazy grabbing mare trying her hardest not to have to go and earn a living fairly. Fortunately DH had a decent solicitor and she was told to wind it in. She dragged the divorce out for months because of that.

Peacock snap. DH's ex also tried that.

Then when FIL died 12 years later (and despite a clean break divorce) she made a bid for a portion of the inheritance.

The solicitors still wrote the letter. We did not get their reply to our rather excoriating response.

It's so mercenary and cold blooded.

SIL used to say to MIL, "Just think, if you'd stayed in Expensive Trendy City your house would be worth over a million pounds!" (instead of downsizing to a bungalow in untrendy suburb).
Sounded like she'd be rubbing her hands together with glee at the thought of all that money. MIL wasn't the sharpest knife in the box but she knew exactly what SIL meant and it really saddened her to feel that they only wanted her for her money. Awful.

@JapaneseBirdPainting I’m expecting her to crawl from under her stone when MIL does pass away. She is very envious of DHs new life and comments regularly via her children about how hard done by she is and how he wastes money. That’s despite him paying her hefty spousal maintenance.

“The more you’ve got, the more they want you dead”

Yes I hate this. Told a rich relative many many times I didn't want anything from him in his will because we wanted to feel free to see him and have fun with him without him feeling we were circling the grave. He did what we asked and didn't leave us anything which lots of the family were shocked by, but he'd been generous to us already and we preferred those last few years not to have that awkwardness ruin the relationship.

My grandmother and her husband are quite significantly wealthy.
My uncle’s troublemaking new wife jokes about being able to pay off the mortgage when they go.

They’ll get their comeuppance because GM has actually cut all of her children out of the will and everything is going to GC. Doesn’t want money grabbing new wives to have a share in the pot when she could set her grandchildren up with a head start in the future. And of course, saying that, I’d much rather have her here for as long as possible!

It's totally ridiculous to even think he'll get any inheritance. It could all go on care home fees as pp have said.

Yikes...Inheritance can make monsters out of people.
Greed, infighting, squabbling, not to mention legal costs in a case of dispute..
A person I know was 'promised' the house he rents by the elderly owner..the person has been relying on this, doing up the house &c..
Elderly owner now has dementia, and his estranged adult child is now on the scene.... when someone looks to be 'not long for this World, the Vultures come a-circling.
Care home fees can eat up an inheritance very fast.

Plus inheritance tax! People often forget this.
Not sure at what level the 40% tax kicks in at, but it is quite low.

My almost ex h asked me when I ended it (because if his behaviour to us) if I could wait a few years until my parents had died before we split up!

This turns my stomach. I will never forget standing with my "d"sil in my mil's front room the morning after MIL had passed away. SIL says "isn't it lucky that we didn't have to put mum in a home". I agreed, thinking she meant how it would have upset her mum to have to move out of her family home. Oh no, she meant lucky that none of MIL's money had disappeared in care fees. She followed up her remark by saying she had been looking at on-line estate agents, and asking me to guess how much houses in MIL's street were going for? Her mother had not been dead 12 hours. She was then constantly on the phone to DH to ask how sorting out the will was going, and once she got her bloody money we have barely heard from her, which is fine as I have no wish to speak to her. Absolutely horrific.

My ExH did this. We'd been told my dad had a few days left to live and whilst I was sat by his bedside he was telling his family how 'we' were coming into some money. He also told them how 'he' was going to spend it.

My dad held on long enough for me to leave my then H, (there were 101 other reasons, this was the final nail in the coffin though) and for the divorce to be finalised before he passed away 2 days later, making it too late for exh to get his mitts on a penny. To this day I swear my dad knew what was going on and waited!

Why should it be assumed that your family will spend their life grafting to keep you healthy, happy and well then leave you their hard-earned cash? Sell up, travel and spend the lot for a lovely retirement, that way nobody can argue about inheritance

Exactly. And people hate inheritance tax. Well, if you spend the money, there won't be any inheritance to tax, will there?

I've known clients (I'm in finance) get into debt in the expectation of an inheritance.

Not sure at what level the 40% tax kicks in at, but it is quite low

Actually it is quite high - well over £350,000 (not sure of the exact amount and I know it has been increasing) and you only pay the 40% on what's over that amount.

DH has a half sibling who openly talks about how he will inherit MIL and FIL’s house.

DS has no concept that DH thinks it’s churlish to talk about profiting from a family death, not are DH’s feelings about being disinherited considered.

It gets right on my tits.

Not all elderly people will need expensive care. Many don’t, and just as much as we shouldn’t assume that we will gain an inheritance it’s also misleading to assume we won’t.

My friend had a family member like this. Both her & her grabby husband. When my friends DM died they got a nasty shock when they found out they had been cut out of her will.
The DM had taken massive offence hearing them dividing up her possessions between them while she was sat in the same room.

I inherited my parents house and money after they both died weeks apart. I had POA and chose the best possible nursing home for my DF to spend his last weeks. I didn't care about the price, I didn't care about any inheritance, all I wanted was for my DF to have the best care he could possibly have. If that had taken up every penny he had worked so hard for in his life, then it was worth it. Unfortunately my DF passed away faster than expected. But I would have given every penny I had for my parents to be healthy and alive. People like that make me sick.
OP, I actually know someone exactly the same and it's disgusting. Their whole life is planned around what they think they will inherit.