I might be being totally unreasonable in which case some advise on how to get on with it would be good if I am being.
So DD born last year did NCT, had high hopes but it was a mix of odd people, people not on my wave length and some bitches!! The whole group messaging and Facebook thing left me exhausted and anxious and frankly took the shine off what should have been a wonderous time. This is apart from one lady who was blinking great, similar tastes and outlooks, and we naturally gravitated towards each other and saw each other frequently - all lovely. Now whilst we have lots of shared interests she is one of these people who having a baby has changed significantly (I mean I know it changes everyone but there are degrees) and outside of her DC she isn’t up for doing much none baby socialising - wine, shopping, cinema etc. In fact she has stopped drinking since having DC. And is also very very frugal ( this can be quite annoying at times as doesn’t have to be DP is not sense it’s her upbringing) That’s all fine though as she has other lovely qualities. However I still really like and need to do all those things a baby hasn’t changed me as much I would say!
Anyway early this year I met another group of Mums through a baby signing class in the village!! Absolutely lovely, we all get on like a house on fab and I feel like it’s turning into such a nice group. We’re all at a similar place in life have v similar tastes/interests and outlooks and enjoy or want to enjoy a friendship that doesn’t revolve around our babies and have had several nights out already with lots of great banter. This has been like a breath of fresh air to me. Most of my older close friends are dispersed across the country and now have their own circles where they are and although I moved back to my home city a few years ago and have made friends via certain connections they’ve not been easy friendships and there’s been a bit of what I call teenage bs, being invited sometimes and not others, jealousy etc. You get on don’t you but I have found the lack of a good circle hard. Anyway this group has been such a tonic and always come away from meet ups feeling fab!!! And it feels like such a lovely dynamic. Whereas I really like this other friend sometimes all we talk about is her baby’s routine and I come away yearning for a bit more adult chat and feeling flat.
Sorry that was a long scene set. FF to now, had my DD’s Naming Day party, invited friend from initial NCT group and the baby signing group. Somehow my NCT friend has given the impression that she’s a bit of a Billy no mates. Not the case she’s lived and worked here all her life and has lots of friends and networks and even though we saw each other regularly she was often off with other groups or friends that were also on mat leave or worked PT - no invite extended to me. Which I never expected it to be. My friends from the new group have now suggested I invite her to things - a BBQ one is hosting and a play day lunch. I didn’t think she’d accept but she has and it’s really unsettled me. I might be being a d*ck but I’m worried that it will change the dynamic and that I’ll be pushed off to the peripheral with her and will have to almost baby sit. Whilst she is lovely she is not as upbeat and outgoing as those in this group and doesn’t have a yearning to have a life outside of her baby, her partner never attends events - bit of a lads lad and things like the BBQ I want to be able to take my DH and go to as a family (partners have been invited to the BBQ too). I’m worried that will change and spoil things before it properly got started when I might finally have found a friendship group that makes you feel like they should. I also don’t want them to feel sorry for her, I.e struggling Mum with not many friends - this isn’t the case at all. She even sees a couple of the others from the NCT group as well occasionally whereas I don’t see any of them. Am I being a cow? What do I do??