Headstone on wrong grave, angry WWYD

[starshine1926]

So it will be 3 years in November since my mum died (can't believe I'm writing that).

I started researching masons, headstones etc back in the Spring and chose a company with excellent feedback. Finally settled on the wording etc and agreed the proof copy 2 weeks ago. Incidentally, I wasn't impressed with a few spelling errors I had to correct.

The masons rang me today to say the job was finished and emailed a picture. The headstone is great, simple black granite with a few motifs personal to her and the names of her relatives. Just one problem: it's on the wrong grave!!

There is no cause for confusion as there is a simple wooden cross with mum's name on it already there. The company rep visited the grave months ago and he stood there while I described it on the phone so they knew exactly where it was. This is a well established family funeral directors and some numpty workman has cemented the stone to an unmarked grave. I discovered this after work today cause I visited tonight in the pouring bloody rain and howling wind, getting soaked in the process.

I am equally angry and upset. I have had a truly crap week, been treated like shit by various people and this is the icing on the cake ffs.

I was quoted £1500 for the headstone. I will be going to see them on Monday. WWYD? Ask for a discount?!
So wanted this to be right - mum was my last living relative.

Is it their practice to do the site location by phone. Are graves not numbered/coordinated so you can cross check?

They need to make good asap, no fuss and with a huge heartfelt apology for your distress.

OP it's a mistake. Everyone makes them. I had a similar issue with Mum's grave in that when I went to look at the stone it was really thin. It turned out that they has spelled the name wrong twice and skimmed the stone down instead of starting with a new stone. It looked cheap and awful. I rang and was polite but insistent it be removed and the stone we actually ordered was placed there ASAP. That happened. The company sent a letter of apology. I have never felt able to recommend them as a result of this but that is all that happened. With my situation they were being cheeky and trying to save money. With yours it's just a mistake. Be kind. We all make them.

I think the word is “compensation” rather than “discount”.

The most important thing is to get the error rectified ASAP. They should definitely do this and be apologetic in the process. I don’t think it will be helpful if the first thing you mention is a discount. You say how upsetting this has been, when having the stone erected was meant to be the closing of a chapter, enabling you to move on, but now it has become hassle you have to deal with.

OP I am so sorry for your loss and I hope this grave error (no pun intended) is sorted soon.
I once had to physically move a gravestone (a smallish flat one) that had been placed on a grave against the wishes of the family because understandably it's presence caused them distress. Fortunately the cement hadn't affixed it properly. It is rectifyable but a horrible thing to experience, and YANBU to expect compensation.

I would phone them, let them know there had been a mistake and take it from there. They will move it ASAP with an apology.

I wouldn't be angry, I'd probably eye roll and have a wee laugh too my mum as she would have found it funny. it's just a mistake, people make mistakes, it will be rectified soon and in the grand scheme of things not really that important.

You are happy with the price, so why ask for discount? tacky if you do

She was happy with the price at the level of service she expected. That service, in practice, has clearly fallen well below anticipated practice, therefore why on earth pay full price? How is it "tacky"? What a strange attitude

Of course its tacky, they made a mistake and i would not be asking for a discount on something like my Mums headstone, just that its put right, it is not the same at all, as getting the wrong dye on your hair.

However, as i said earlier, i'd be checking the grave is in the right place, It is possible that that is wrong and the headstone is on the correct plot.

OP, I am glad that you haven't paid yet. Do not pay them until they have rectified their mistake, as currently they haven't provided the service that you have asked for, which is a headstone on your mothers grave.

YA most definitely not BU and you are not over reacting. How many people , if this happened to them, would say, oh well, shit happens, and be happy to pay £1500 for something that they haven't got?? No matter what that is, and especially in a sensitive situation like this.

When you visit their office, explain that they have placed the stone on the wrong grave, ask when this will be sorted out, and then make sure yourself that it has been moved before paying.

You could ask them if they would make a contribution to your mum's favourite charity by way of saying sorry?

I wouldn’t be asking for a discount but as you haven’t paid it’s right to withhold payment until they have rectified their mistake and the job has been properly completed.