to get the rage with noisy, gossipy, street blocking school mums?

[OtraCosaMariposa]

We've only been back a couple of days and this pair are driving me NUTS. Same all last year too.

School finishes at 3. These two women always park in the same spaces directly outside my house. After school finishes they never leave straight away. They walk back to their cars from the playground and stand outside my house for 90 fecking minutes gossiping LOUDLY and letting their assorted children scream up and down the pavement. I have had to close my window because of the racket one child was making out of sheer boredom as her mother stands in the street and talks.

I have the irrational rage about this pair. Why can't they either stay in the school playground (this is allowed) to let their children play in peace, or fuck off to one of the houses to continue their LOUD discussion about Karen's new job and how the Chinese takeaway in the high street has really gone downhill recently.

Lol dreading the school run again already and still have 3 weeks off! Always blocked by mums gossiping as I try to wheel buggy with agro child in it by them. They never move willingly forcing me to politely and sweetly ask them to move so I can get by. Hate it.

So glad mine are old enough to take themselves to school, and bring themselves home too.

Get friends to park there so they can’t.
Shout fuck of out the window?

Can you put a garden chair out the front of.your house and sit there Watching and Listening until they get so uncomfortable they park elsewhere to avoid Crazy Otra?

Ha I hate this too. I live in a very small historical town with tiny narrow pavements so if a gaggle of Mum’s are gossiping, it blocks the way for everyone else yet they still do it! Seemingly no self awareness. I hate the ones who walk at snails pace so they can gossip too.

Could you write a polite notice and leave it on their car when they are inside the school saying you work nights and their standing outside your house for ages with the kids is keeping you awake. Would they mind having their conversation elsewhere? Many thanks!

Doesn't your front garden need watering at that time? With a sprinkler, obviously!

Spray them with water definitely

& red dye [grins]

Love the sprinkler idea. In fact, there are cows in the field behind. Maybe a bit of fertiliser would be useful too.

If you have a car, could you park it in the road before they get there?

yeah, pop your wheelie bins in the space. Get a dog to poop outside your house, put the TV with something very inappropriate on very loudly...

This cracked me up. There’s two ladies in me street who walk their children to school and stand outside (just down from mine) gossping for sometimes an hour!! I walk past them most mornings and bear all sorts of this and that 🤣

Definitely blast loud and sweary offensive music out of the windows until they are forced to leave. Like, REALLY blast it.

May have to warn the neighbours of your experiment first.

OR, open a coffee shop serving from your front garden! Say “next please” from the counter when they arrive, and be very affronted and remind them that “this is a cafe” all goggle-eyed at them when they decline to make a purchase.

Not quite the same but there were a group of Mum’s who did this at DDs school, completely blocking the gate.

Once when I said ‘excuse me please’ one of them huffed and said ‘fucking people with jobs, think they’re so fucking important’. I did not have a job at the time!!

Park in 'their' spot

Definitely park in "their spot" that will piss them off and leave your windows open so you can hear them moshing about someone knocking their spot! The sprinkler idea is a good one too

Moaning not moshing!!

Great minds @Anasnake

Uuugh I have very similar, its my twat of a neighbour though! She and another school mum seem to live in each others bloody pockets cos the other mum is ALWAYS here school days, sometimes she turns up with her 3 kids as early as 7am and they all stand outside banging on the neighbours door and screaming until they wake them up, then after the school run she's here all day long and they have their crappy music blaring out and they sit out on the fucking street like a pair of weirdos gas-bagging away like a pair of bloody fishwives, then they pick all the kids up and are here till gone 7/8 at night with all the kids just standing around screaming in the street. You wouldn't think they had husbands/partners, they must have no sex lives at all they're always with each other sitting out on the street!!

Can you put a garden chair out the front of.your house and sit there Watching and Listening until they get so uncomfortable they park elsewhere to avoid Crazy Otra?

My kind of person!

Ooow play Beautiful Souths "Dont marry her, F me' very very loudly

Find some porn online, turn up to full volume with your windows wide open.

Ohhhh I like idea of something smelling. But some really bad smelling mud or something. Right there. Will soon stop them from standing and chatting with that smell

Avengerdanvers95 bes5 ever idea!

My sodding downstairs neighbour does this in the communal hallway. Endless loud goodbyes after her stupid parties below my window at 3am whilst her no neck monsters throttle each other in the lounge. JUST LEAVE NOW yes go on close the door now...followed by European championship door slamming.
Anyhoo. I agree with the deckchair option. Just make them feel so silently watched that they back slowly away.