Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry with husband?

67 replies

TeaMe · 16/08/2019 09:44

He used sensitive toothpaste on 22 month old. He was trying to help. I've specifically told him in the past that standard adult toothpaste is ok but not whitening or sensitive. What could the effects be? Am I right to be annoyed?

OP posts:
20viona · 16/08/2019 09:46

Nothing to be concerned about.

scarecrowhead · 16/08/2019 09:48

Non issue

YourDaughter · 16/08/2019 09:50

At the most he may have a little bit of a tummy upset, but I think that’s more the result of a cumulative effect. A one off and I’m sure he’ll be fine.
We all make mistakes - I’m sure you have and will make them with your DS. Unless there’s a massive backstory, you DH loves his son too and wouldn’t purposefully hurt him. Protective instincts kick in, but don’t take it out on your DH that won’t help relations long term...

SallyWD · 16/08/2019 09:50

I wouldn't worry at all. It's not going to poison him.

MostlyAmbridgeandcoffee · 16/08/2019 09:52

Agree non issue

Flerkin · 16/08/2019 09:53

Really?

Theres not going to any huge ill effects.

Do you carry in like this all the time? Does he carry on when you make mistake. Because I can guarantee you have made a mistake with your kids.

TheWernethWife · 16/08/2019 09:56

The words "trying to help" really pisses me off. He was PARENTING his child.

Original poster
TeaMe · 16/08/2019 09:59

@thewernethwife whenever he parents, it's not how I would do it so it's annoying. I'm the one who has done research into parenting and how to do things.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 16/08/2019 10:00

So why does this even matter?

Nicknacky · 16/08/2019 10:01

And leave him to do it his way. Just because it’s not how you would do things doesn’t mean his way is wrong.

SnuggyBuggy · 16/08/2019 10:02

This sounds like a case of pick your battles OP

Nanny0gg · 16/08/2019 10:05

Not all parenting can be covered by 'research.

Let him have input. He's their father

Toddlerteaplease · 16/08/2019 10:05

Poor man if that's the reaction he gets for making a simple mistake.

scarecrowhead · 16/08/2019 10:05

'Research into parenting' ??? Pfb by any chance ?

Toddlerteaplease · 16/08/2019 10:06

He's her father. He's not going to put her at risk. He has her best interests at heart, just as much as you do.

Bigmango · 16/08/2019 10:06

Eh?? Is this for real?? Poor guy...

MaisieDaisy1 · 16/08/2019 10:07

You sound like a nightmare who thinks she’s an expert on childcare. The poor man!

TheViceOfReason · 16/08/2019 10:08

Hmm uh huh.

user1483387154 · 16/08/2019 10:08

you are over reacting and sound very controlling in your follow up post.

Thingsdogetbetter · 16/08/2019 10:09

So he has to parent exactly like you or you get annoyed? Wow. You're going to stop him wanting to parent if you nitpick every little thing. As long as dc is safe and happy he's doing it right. Back off. Presume this is your pfb?

Do you insist he does everything 'your way'? Do you read research that contradicts your ideas, or just the ones that agree with you?

ElizaPancakes · 16/08/2019 10:11

I agree this is a total non-issue - but if not raised and he decides to brush her teeth every day, then surely that’s not good?

Although I have to admit I don’t know if whitening/sensitive toothpaste is not recommended as not needed or can actually be harmful to the enamel on milk teeth.

Flerkin · 16/08/2019 10:11

whenever he parents, it's not how I would do it so it's annoying. I'm the one who has done research into parenting and how to do things.

I see this attitude alot in real life. Usually followed by the woman then moaning the man doesnt do enough.

Not saying some men arent useless and shit at pitching in. Obviously they are.

But I have seen a few female friends and relatives get annoyed about something the father does because 'it's not how I would do it' , Carrie's in alarming at the small stuff claiming 'I know better than you'

Then they wonder the man stops trying.

BettysLeftTentacle · 16/08/2019 10:12

I'm the one who has done research into parenting and how to do things.

Oh good god you’re one of those. You don’t need to ‘research’ parenting, you use your instincts and do your best with what you’ve got. There is going to be zoo ill effects to your child from this, intact he was being a good parent by brushing his child’s teeth. Count yourself lucky you are coparenting with a man that not only wants to be a parent but also does a good job.

Flerkin · 16/08/2019 10:13

I agree this is a total non-issue - but if not raised and he decides to brush her teeth every day, then surely that’s not good?

It can be raised but not in anger nor with the 'do it my way because I get annoyed if you dont'.

That's no way to treat your partner and someone you are co parenting with.

Flerkin · 16/08/2019 10:14

OP if you have done some much research, surely you know what effects on your child there would be.

Or did you just want everyone to jump in a tell you what a wanker he is and that you are right all the time?