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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry with husband?

67 replies

TeaMe · 16/08/2019 09:44

He used sensitive toothpaste on 22 month old. He was trying to help. I've specifically told him in the past that standard adult toothpaste is ok but not whitening or sensitive. What could the effects be? Am I right to be annoyed?

OP posts:
MatildaWormwood8 · 16/08/2019 10:15

It’s his child too Hmm cut him some slack

CrispSandwiches19 · 16/08/2019 10:18

So it's your way or no way.. Wtf. He's a parent. There will be many times he does things how he sees fit and you don't agree and I'm sure he doesn't agree with everything you do!
Research parenting.. Wow just wow!

adaline · 16/08/2019 10:18

Good grief Hmm

Oysterbabe · 16/08/2019 10:20

Don't be ridiculous. One way to ensure you're left doing everything is to micromanage whatever he does with his own child.

Tiredmum100 · 16/08/2019 10:28

Yabu to be so annoyed. It was a mistake. Everyone will make a mistake at some point. You do sound like hard work and I feel sorry for your partner. When I clicked on this thread I was expecting something awful.

BrunettesDoItBetter · 16/08/2019 10:39

My dentist has told me to only use adult toothpaste on ds as kids toothpaste is below par

BrunettesDoItBetter · 16/08/2019 10:40

And I've also used adult shampoo on him since 18 months.All ok.

Original poster
TeaMe · 16/08/2019 10:40

Ok I'll try and back off a bit. If DH was home more, maybe I wouldn't have developed such routines etc.

OP posts:
Flerkin · 16/08/2019 10:41

Why isnt he home much?

GreenTulips · 16/08/2019 10:43

whenever he parents, it's not how I would do it so it's annoying

What will you do when they go to school? Give the teacher a schedule?

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 16/08/2019 10:45

Hi OP
It sounds like the tip of the iceberg. I think it depends what kind of thing hes doing that isn't what you would do. If its stuff that isnt safe then yeah I'd be angry for example letting child go out without suncream and they got burnt, not holding their hand next to the road and they ran off, forgetting they can choke on certain foods etc then that could all have dangerous consequences. If it's just a different routine and habits and things that dont have any real consequence then YABU

CheshireChat · 16/08/2019 10:50

Also, from his point of view, you're the one parenting differently wrong so there needs to be some give and take

Horehound · 16/08/2019 10:52

Why is it your way or the high way?

ElizaPancakes · 16/08/2019 10:52

@BrunettesDoItBetter if you look at most children’s toothpaste they are the same strength just a different flavour.

Teachermaths · 16/08/2019 10:54

Wow.... Its annoying when your dh parents his own child. I've heard it all now.

NoSauce · 16/08/2019 10:54

Ok I'll try and back off a bit. If DH was home more, maybe I wouldn't have developed such routines etc

Where is he when he’s not at home?

BrunettesDoItBetter · 16/08/2019 10:55

@Eliza really? That's what the dentist said so I just did as I was told lol

DamnitCharlie · 16/08/2019 11:07

What's wrong with sensitive toothpaste? Our HV said to use any adult toothpaste as long as the taste isn't too minty as it might put the baby/ child off.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 16/08/2019 11:07

I am hazarding a guess that this is your first child, OP?

whattodowith · 16/08/2019 11:09

At least he brushed his teeth...

YourDaughter · 16/08/2019 11:11

@TeaMe try to imagine the boot being on the other foot. How would you feel if he read a few books and then told you your methods were all wrong?
Would you take the criticism as well as he does, how would it affect your confidence as a parent?
I don’t think you’re doing this from a negative place - you simply want the best for your son. However, I’d guess his dad does too. Perhaps think about how you are putting forward your suggestions and maybe reflect on why you feel
it necessary to control as you do?

Gruntvsgunt · 16/08/2019 11:11

Maybe you could research the possible damage done... would have probably got less of a (well deserved) roasting than MN

poppymatilda · 16/08/2019 11:12

Didn't even know this was a thing.
Sometimes I forget to brush DDs teeth all together at the end of a long day so he's doing better than me. When I remember (the majority of the time I hasten to add!) I try to use the children's tooth paste but if that runs out then she gets a tiny bit of whatever is around.

Her teeth seem fine!

sunnysunchild · 16/08/2019 12:34

Posted on the other thread...
But just wondering if you are ok OP?
Is your apparent over reaction due to stress/anxiety etc?
Why is this bothering you so much?

Almostfifty · 16/08/2019 12:35

I was a SAHM and my DH worked away a LOT. When he was home, he was fabulous with the DC, tried to get me to have time on my own, he'd look after the DC etc, but I was a bit rigid about routines etc.

I went away for a night with some pals, and had a brilliant time. Coming back on the train, my mind started to wonder how they'd coped, if the little one had gone to bed ok without me, how many times they'd been up in the night, etc, etc.

Do you know what? They were all absolutely fine. I realised I was going overboard and relaxed from that day on. Ok, things might not be done exactly as you want them, but does that really, really matter, so long as they're all fed and watered? No, it doesn't.

Take it easy.