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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be embarrassed about mowing the lawn?

252 replies

Folicky · 15/08/2019 05:52

Or maybe not unreasonable, but rather am I being neurotic in being embarrassed about mowing my own lawn?

I’m a single parent. I used to have a large front & rear garden and paid to have it mowed. I’m moved to a house on a smaller plot and it is definitely feasible that I mow the lawn. The only thing is, I think it advertises the fact that we’re without a geezer. And while I live semi-rurally, there are a little knot of houses around me, so others could see me doing it and I’m likely to be doing it at times when other people are around (evening or weekends) as I work regular full time hours. Maybe, I’m being a bit sensitive about it because my new & closest neighbours are being very boundaried / dick-ish if I ask for advice about anything eg whats’ the best gp surgery in the locality? Do you need BT and a satellite dish to get a good signal (it’s rural)?, etc. They seem to see that asking for advice as a sign that I’m a bottomless pit of requests when really they’ve been questions about quite discrete areas of life. I think they must have had a bad experience in the past. Somewhere in my psyche I think they’ll see me pushing a lawnmower in my garden as a request for help (it isn’t, I don’t want them or him in my garden) and it will feel awkward. I also don’t want to be adopting a stance of placating my new neighbours when they’re probably a bit difficult. That wouldn’t feel good to me, I don’t think.

Any other dude-less (for the moment) mothers feel this way?

Any solutions? From emboldening words to suggestions about early morning mowing, and advice welcome. Thanks.

OP posts:
justanothernameonthewall · 15/08/2019 10:57

Umm, I usually mow the lawn at the weekend while DH makes a roast (if he's not working). Tbh I see more women than men mowing the lawns on our street except for the really old couple a few doors up 😊

LagunaBubbles · 15/08/2019 10:59

"dudeless" what a strange expression Confused

Freshstart40 · 15/08/2019 11:02

I have a husband and always mow the lawn, I enjoy it!

SeriouslyEnoughAlreadyRantOver · 15/08/2019 11:05

Your post seems to indicate women only mow the lawn if they don't have a man to do it for them, or when they do it the man is out there with them. Which is beyond bat shit.

pretty good summary

The whole thread is batshit!

MilkyMamma · 15/08/2019 11:08

I mow our front and back lawns!
I recently shifted 3 tonnes of gravel with a wheelbarrow, too! Why should it be mans work?

If I didn't do it then it wouldn't get done because my DH wouldn't do it unless I nagged him to the point of an argument! Easier to just crack on and do it myself. Summer holidays mean I haven't had chance with both children around so it's not got done since July, has he bothered to do it, has he heck. So it'll grow longer and longer until September Hmm

Sosososotired · 15/08/2019 11:08

My DH wouldn’t know how to operate our lawn mower! I’ve always been the one to do it. I wouldn’t overthink it. And if your neighbours ask if you need help just say no thanks!

QualCheckBot · 15/08/2019 11:12

This has to be the strangest thread I've read on here (even stranger than yesterday's one where the poster made herself ill due to eating and drinking too much salt). It has to be a spoof. Is anyone really that impinged that they are scared to be seen mowing their own lawn?

It isn't even logical. OP - you think your neighbours are going to find out you are single if they see you mowing your lawn. Chances are, if they are that interested, they have probably already worked out you are single. Or if not, will do so soon. Mowing your lawn is going to make negligible difference to your neighbours' knowledge of your singleness.

Not that it matters the tiniest bit. Though frankly I would have simply googled the best GP surgery in the area and looked to see if other people were using satellite dishes, so you might be right to pick up on your neighbours having a slight attitude towards you. Perhaps they are afraid you will ask them to mow your law for you next!

Any solutions? From emboldening words to suggestions about early morning mowing, and advice welcome.

Um, yes, stop being so ridiculously timid and outdated in your views of what women can and can't do. If you lived in Saudi or the UAE, then mowing your lawn might be a problem. Not in Europe. Not in this and the previous century.

Simkin · 15/08/2019 11:16

I agree with you @Nothingcomesforfree.

OP is not suggesting only men should mow the lawn just that doing so makes her feel a particular way about her neighbours and her single state. Telling her she shouldn't feel like that doesn't stop her feeling it. Apart from anything else none of us has met her neighbours so she is in a better position than us to guess their attitude. Personally I find any household activity or the front of my house makes me feel a bit watched and self conscious and this is somewhere I've lived for years and I know all the neighbours.

Additionally, yes, all the people saying she's being ridiculous have not been in her position.

DaffodilsAndDandelions · 15/08/2019 11:19

I cut grass for a living, it is definitely not just a mans job. Plenty of my friends now their own lawns too. As do their husbands. It’s just a matter of who is at home with the time to do it.
My main advice is ensure you know EXACTLY how to work your lawnmower BEFORE taking t out in the gardening full view of the neighbours. That way you can proceed with confidence that you know what you are doing without having to ask for help from snooty people.
You have got this totally 🙂

NarcolepticOuchMouse · 15/08/2019 11:27

I think I must be missing something here Hmm Mowing the lawn is not a man's job, not unless you'd like to live in a reality where you're expected to do women's jobs. I mow the lawn, so does my dp, we share all tasks...

HerGrapeness · 15/08/2019 11:28

My neighbours on both sides are married couples and on both sides it's the women that mow the law so it doesn't scream 'without a geezer' to me.

LadyRannaldini · 15/08/2019 11:32

I'm sure you could find something more trivial to get uptight about but at the moment I'm struggling to think what! You cut the grass and people will judge you? I cut the grass, I do a lot of the gardening, I'm the one who will attack things with a saw whilst OH will piddle around with clippers.

QualCheckBot · 15/08/2019 11:38

LadyRannaldini I'm sure you could find something more trivial to get uptight about but at the moment I'm struggling to think what! You cut the grass and people will judge you?

No, apparently cutting the grass, and only cutting the grass, will reveal to the OP's neighbours that she is single and doesn't have a man around.

Otherwise, presumably they will not find out this terrible fact.

The consequences of the neighbours finding out if she is single remains uncertain...

WeAreStardustWeAreGolden · 15/08/2019 11:40

Good god what century are we in? I'm married, my husband has never, ever mowed the grass or indeed any gardening. I do the front and back. I love gardening but would still do it anyway.

Lunafortheloveogod · 15/08/2019 11:42

Just do it woman!

Be worse to look at a 4ft high jungle than a single woman with a lawn mower surely Confused.

I done ours right up until I physically couldn’t while pg with ds and ours is a massive corner plot. DH wants every little thing removed from the grass first, the lawnmower we have is a warhorse that just shreds up stuff.. I just run it over n move stones as I go so I’m 10 times faster than him.

No one cared no one was shocked at my bump behind the “heavy” machinery.. no one gives a flying feck.

steppemum · 15/08/2019 11:44

wow.

I used to always mow our lawn.
At some point dh took over, not sure when (not related to having kids)
But if he doesn't I still do it.

Never thought of it as a man's task.

ifoundthebread · 15/08/2019 11:46

I have a dude and mow my own lawn 😂

Mandalorian · 15/08/2019 11:47

I spend half my life in our Garden. I mow, lop trees etc. Last week I dug out a large patch of ground to the side of the garage, fitted driveway grids to it and had a tonne of gravel delivered. I then laid all the gravel and by the time DH came home from work I'd finished.

I have more time than him so I do the garden. You're reading far too much into it.

lisbonholiday · 15/08/2019 11:54

I throw money at everything I can to make my (and my children’s) lives easy and enjoyable as poss
Yes! I live for this attitude

AmIChangingagain · 15/08/2019 11:55

I cut the grass. I'm "dude less"

I had no idea I was showing my status to the whole neighbourhod

RedWoollyHat · 15/08/2019 11:56

"Or maybe not unreasonable, but rather am I being neurotic in being embarrassed about mowing my own lawn?"

Yes, you are being neurotic.

Malbecfan · 15/08/2019 11:58

I'm married but I mow the lawn. It frees DH up to do other tasks. You are overthinking this!

Hotterthanahotthing · 15/08/2019 12:03

I no longer have a lawn but when I wasarried I mowed our very large lawn.
The neighbours will be glad to see you keep the garden tidy

Oliversmumsarmy · 15/08/2019 12:09

I am waiting for it to be dry for a couple of days so I can mow my grass. On the meantime I am preparing my driveway.
All 250sq metres of it to put down a new driveway which I will do on my own.

Must remember to buy a new wheel barrow my last one died last year when the handle fell off

sugarbum · 15/08/2019 12:17

Mow the lawn OP.