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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbour Dispute

149 replies

QualCheckBot · 14/08/2019 19:03

Not really a dispute, its all relatively civilised...

We are 3 households sharing a driveway. The driveway urgently needs repairs in order to keep it usable. The title deeds have it as being 50% responsible for upkeep for Household A and 25% each for households B (mine) and C.

However, A proposes that we pay a third each and DH and I are agreeable to that. C however lives alone and wants to pay only 1/5 of the total because there is only one of her and each other household has 2 people. She also says that as she doesn't have a car, she isn't contributing to the wear and tear. The driveway is the only way in and out of all the properties.

I am against this because I think it sets a dangerous precedent of her paying less than her share for future maintenance.

Furthermore, to avoid drip feed, C quite often has her parents staying with her so there are often 3 people there, and her parents have a car.

Neighbour A is wishy-washy and seems likely to let her away with it unless we put a stop to it. In fact, A's wife seemed to side with C because she doesn't like me for reasons unspecified but probably to do with the fact that I work and she doesn't, so I don't tend to fall for nonsense.

Is neighbour C being unreasonable?

OP posts:
HeadintheiClouds · 14/08/2019 20:02

How much hooha is actually involved in getting a driveway resurfaced? All this toing and froing with emails and messages and meetings and you haven’t even decided who’s paying for it yet?
You don’t sound particularly decisive yourself.

Nanny0gg · 14/08/2019 20:02

C has some form for being a wannabee CF - asking me to move my compost heap, complaining to local farmers about using pesticides (she moved from London to the countryside)

She has a point about the pesticides. You don't have to be born in the countryside to have a view on those.

icelollycraving · 14/08/2019 20:03

I would respond and say on reflection, you don’t want to set a precedent against the deeds and you are willing to pay 25% and no more.
I wouldn’t be doing someone a favour if I thought they disliked me for any reason. Why would you?!
The person on their own has taken on the property and with that comes responsibilities. Imagine if you paid and a month later she moved her bf in who had a car. It’s v likely to be messy if you deviate from legalities.

Redcherries · 14/08/2019 20:05

You can download the deeds online from the land registry for a couple of pounds. Very handy in situations like this.

IScreamForIceCreams · 14/08/2019 20:06

Put your personal differences aside, get unbiased legal advice and follow that. Deeds are there for a reason, regardless of how many people live in a house/have cars/visitors etc.

browzingss · 14/08/2019 20:06

Agree that you should just stick to the deeds.

saraclara · 14/08/2019 20:06

I work and she doesn't, so I don't tend to fall for nonsense

You've very clearly implied that women who don't work outside the home "fall for nonsense". At least own that, rather than rambling on about why you don't like her.

And yes, stick to the deeds.

flouncyfanny · 14/08/2019 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeadintheiClouds · 14/08/2019 20:10

What do you mean by A’s wife “doesn’t own the house”? If you mean their house is in her husband’s name only, how on earth do you know this and how is it relevant?
She can probably sense your disdain as clearly as I can.

Original poster
QualCheckBot · 14/08/2019 20:11

saraclara You've very clearly implied that women who don't work outside the home "fall for nonsense". At least own that, rather than rambling on about why you don't like her.

No, not all women. Just her. I'm not ranting but she doesn't like me and since I've barely ever spoken to her and she has made snide comments about my working for a living and is all over DH's work like a rash, there is clearly a link.

The fact that she said I was rude for saying that I wasn't going to sub C paying 1/5 is also rather strange. She was very rude to me in her own house for no reason. DH could have said exactly the same thing.

She doesn't like women, like me, who work. Unless she just doesn't like my face, which is unremarkable, I can think of no other explanation for her comments to me.

OP posts:
Tistheseason17 · 14/08/2019 20:11

Why is it soooo difficult to stick to the deeds. Who cares what her A's deeds say, just pony up your legal share.

Thank you, next.

Dotty1970 · 14/08/2019 20:11

Stick to the deeds 🙄, you might as well let her pay 1/5 then if your not sticking to it too. You said about setting a president then you don't anyway. Senseless.

flouncyfanny · 14/08/2019 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
QualCheckBot · 14/08/2019 20:14

Nanny0og She has a point about the pesticides. You don't have to be born in the countryside to have a view on those.

**

To be fair, its not just pesticides she doesn't like. Its fertilisers too. And tractors and combines. And dust from said tractors and combines. I think she thought the countryside would be quieter and more peaceful than it is. She does like animals though, so its not all bad!

OP posts:
FixTheBone · 14/08/2019 20:14

'Upkeep' is quite a broad term, it would be interesting to see who the drive actually belongs to, and, who is responsible for improvements...

Upkeep to me is restoring the drive to the condition that it was when you became the owner of the property, which, in itself could be subjective....

As others have said - work out the cost of maintaining, if you and A want to then improve/ upgrade work that out amongst yourselves, and inform C what the split of the monthly bill will be for somebody to come and clean, inspect and maintain it at a regular interval.

Nautiloid · 14/08/2019 20:16

What a horrible situation. C is the worst offender here.
Given all the drama, I'd stick to the stipulations of the deeds.

Original poster
QualCheckBot · 14/08/2019 20:16

I also insisted on setting up a dedicated bank account for maintenance funds. A's wife did object to that, but A agreed and C reluctantly went along with it. A's wife (please suggest another name if that's objectionable) did criticise me for being overly "strict" I think the word was she used for that one, and when I tried to explain why it was important, walked off yawning exaggeratedly, saying she couldn't understand why it had to be so complicated.

OP posts:
Original poster
QualCheckBot · 14/08/2019 20:20

FixTheBone 'Upkeep' is quite a broad term, it would be interesting to see who the drive actually belongs to, and, who is responsible for improvements...

Upkeep to me is restoring the drive to the condition that it was when you became the owner of the property, which, in itself could be subjective....

As others have said - work out the cost of maintaining, if you and A want to then improve/ upgrade work that out amongst yourselves, and inform C what the split of the monthly bill will be for somebody to come and clean, inspect and maintain it at a regular interval.

I think part of the drive belongs to A, and the other part to us (B), but there is a small part which we do not know who owns it. I think you are right as these repairs could arguably be called improvements as it was probably a farm type drive originally and it could still be got down by farm vehicles, tractors etc easily but not so easily by nice saloon type cars.

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 14/08/2019 20:20

Go with the deeds. Bonkers to do anything else. It's about house value, not car usage.
Anybody could suddenly become a 1 person household, or suddenly increase the number in household (death, divorce, re marriage, children with cars, parents or lodgers moving in etc etc). The number in the house is irrelevant.
The deeds are as they are for a reason.

BarbaraWoodlouse · 14/08/2019 20:22

Mr A and Mrs A? Grin

Liverbird77 · 14/08/2019 20:23

Stick to what is in the deeds. She chooses to live there so she needs to abide by the terms.

NettleTea · 14/08/2019 20:23

You need to stick to the deeds. Fairness doesnt come into it to be honest. If the single lady had an issue then she should not have bought a house which specified those particular commitments. This could all go completely pear shaped.

I think you would also be wise to make sure there is an agreement between you as to any work that needs doing, and who will do it - who is deeded with that responsibility?

timeisnotaline · 14/08/2019 20:24

So many presidents being set!

Justaboy · 14/08/2019 20:25

What a lot of fuss! I have a private road driveway with 5 neighbours when it needs a gravel top up I just orfer a up a load of drive gravel another orders a hire in digger to swish it around the other brings a crate of beer we have a good time and look and admire our own handiwork whilst getting half cut:)

HeadintheiClouds · 14/08/2019 20:25

Old Orange bollocks gets everywhere, these days...

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