Just the one night! FFS, what's with expecting people to give up a whole weekend, re-arrange their schedules, use vital time off, kick in loads of money just because someone is getting married
Indeed. It wasn't always thus. As I've said in a previous post, my daughter arranged her own hen do. She organised it for a Saturday so that nobody had to take leave from work. A whole day doing things that she enjoys, starting at 10am with a champagne brunch. Then an escape room, then a picnic in a local beauty spot (catered and which could be taken indoors in case of rain) then an afternoon rowing on the Cam. Then early cocktails followed by dinner in a favourite Indian restaurant with plenty of wine, and fun, and everybody totally worn out, knackered, and pissed by 10pm. Taxis home, and everybody's fine in the morning. (Except me. I don't bounce back from hangovers like I used to.)
It all cost around £800. Daughter and I split the cost between us.
Her friends who attended bought extras of wine or food etc if they wanted, and paid for their own taxis obvs. Didn't mind having to spend £20 or so for a taxi home because they weren't feeling ripped off generally, because they'd had a brilliant day for free.
Which is how it should be.
One of her bridesmaids to be had a week long hen in Ibiza 6 months ago, for which my daughter was expected to pay a £1000 to attend.
Of course, she didn't go because she has her own expensive nuptials coming up shortly. In my day, in the 70s, you just went out for a few drinks, then a meal, and maybe a nightclub if you looked old enough to get in.
I think the trouble with nowadays is social media. Kids (and by kids I mean anybody under 25) think that if you are not being seen to be having a good time on FB or Instagram or whatever, by means of sending images of you having a good time, then nobody will believe that you had a really good time.
Contrariwise, I can't imagine having a good time if you are constantly worried that you may not be, and have to send images out to confirm to yourself and others that you are, in fact, having a really good time.
I think this constant neediness to share everything with everybody interferes with, and is detrimental to, people's engagement with the here and now. And it's a real pressure on children and young people.
And I understand why they feel that they have to go with it.
Like these fecking ridiculous hen parties.
I just so wish that young folk would revolt, get some autonomy, do what they innately know is sensible and more importantly, what they themselves, actually want to do. Have the confidence to tell their friends "NO" . I can't do that because I don't have the money, and it's not something I'd enjoy anyway. So you go ahead, but count me out.
Are they afraid of losing a friendship? Who knows?
But how valuable is a friend who wants you to spend your money on doing something to suit them, when they know you are less than keen?
OP is obviously socially inept.