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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not take da away

64 replies

MozzchopsThirty · 14/08/2019 12:40

It's been an expensive month with uniform etc to buy
This weekend I'm taking ds1 & 2 to London
I've booked Madame Tussaud's, Tower of London etc
So I asked them to not ask me for any money this week so I wasn't skint for London

Anyway despite that they've been to local football place and trampoline park

This morning ds (15) text his grandad saying mum has no money can I have £20 to go out Angry

I was mortified and angry so I text his grandad and said to ignore the text and I would give him some money

I then phoned ds and said I was cross and that's I'd asked his grandfather not to give him money, before I could finish he hung up and then sent me the following msg

So WWYD? Still take him to London or not? I'm thinking not, and teaching him a lesson

Happy to be told AIBU though

Photo removed by MNHQ as it contains identifying information

OP posts:
Cocolapew · 14/08/2019 12:41

You have the photo and name left on you need to report your post

Shakennotshook · 14/08/2019 12:45

This makes no sense.

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 14/08/2019 12:46

Thanks have reported

Why does it make no sense?

OP posts:
Thingsdogetbetter · 14/08/2019 12:47

Why have they been to football and trampoline place if you said no money. Do you normally just give in? Where you actually going to give ds the £20? Do you ever stick to what you say?

And nope I won't be taking ds15 to London now. The fact you are even considering it is mind blowing. The other ds has done no wrong so take them.

They sound very spoilt and you sound like you can't stick to boundaries so entitled is what you've trained them to be - from your op anyway.

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 14/08/2019 12:49

I had already paid for the football and trampolining
I asked them not to ask for anymore after that

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 14/08/2019 12:49

I agree it doesn’t really make sense

Most of the convo is missing

I would still take him to London but I wouldn’t have given him the £20 to go out

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 14/08/2019 12:50

I wouldn’t cancel taking him to London for that. A total over reaction. But I would not keep giving in to him either.

HattieHu · 14/08/2019 12:52

I wouldn't give him the £20 but would still go London.

Queenioqueenio · 14/08/2019 12:54

I’d still take him to London but ground him for a day or turn off WiFi For a day to teach him not to go behind your back asking for cash.
Has he looked for a job? My ds15 is earning some cash as I can’t keep up with his demands for money for stuff, so at least he’s realising what it takes to earn it in the first place.

Kungfupanda67 · 14/08/2019 12:54

‘If you’d let me finish your life would have been better’ 🙄 what’s that supposed to mean? That makes you sound like a teenager too!

Either ring him back and leave a message if he doesn’t answer (not with a vague ‘you’ll regret that’ but an actual message) or text, again with an actual message. ‘It’s unacceptable to hang up on me. I have been clear that you can’t have any more money until x because we are going to London which will be very expensive. You chose to ignore this and because of your behaviour you will no longer be coming with us’

MiniMum97 · 14/08/2019 12:55

I would be absolutely fuming if my DS spoke to me like that. But your message above rounds like you are debating with him? If that's your approach I am not surprised you have him talking to you like that. Why are you texting? Is he out already?

Lifeisabeach09 · 14/08/2019 12:56

Is it really such a big deal that he asked his grandfather for money knowing that you couldn't afford it? He couldn't ask you and you do not mentioned a DF.

He is giving you attitude, sure, but perhaps you overreacted.

I'd take him to London.

Rivkka · 14/08/2019 12:56

I don't understand the text. Let you finish what?

Kungfupanda67 · 14/08/2019 12:57

Although not taking him does seem a bit extreme - does his grandad give him money occasionally? Is it reasonable to expect him to know that you meant he couldn’t ask anyone for money?

Shplot · 14/08/2019 12:57

Both messages sound really horrible. He shouldn’t talk to you like that but what does ‘if you’d let me finish....’ mean?

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 14/08/2019 12:57

I text him because he hung up

OP posts:
Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 14/08/2019 12:58

Thank you for replies
Now I really do feel like the shit mother he makes me out to be

OP posts:
happycamper11 · 14/08/2019 12:59

I'd still take him to London providing he apologises. Surely it's obvious what if you let me finish means.. it means if he hadn't cut her off she'd have been able to explain she was giving him the money (not that I would have)

Sux2buthen · 14/08/2019 13:01

Your post reads fine (second time round lol)
No, he was being a gobshite and sound you up, you're only human. Now everyone is all fed up and grumpy.
I'd just say come on bollocks to this let's just go and have fun.

MrsMozartMkII · 14/08/2019 13:01

He's being a grabby arse.

Don't blame you if you decide not to take him anywhere else.

Sux2buthen · 14/08/2019 13:01

*wound

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 14/08/2019 13:01

What does your message mean?

Notgoodatchoosingnames · 14/08/2019 13:02

you are not a sh*t mother and don't let anyone make you feel like that. I had a job at 15, and would be furious if my DS was asking my parents for money when he had stuff arranged

Soubriquet · 14/08/2019 13:02
Confused

No one has said you’re a shit mother

wombatron · 14/08/2019 13:07

You ask for opinions then complain peoples advice makes you feel like a shit mother. I don't think anyone has done that.

Your text to him was childish, a PP outlined an excellent message you could have sent. If you want respect from him, I do think you need to command it. It's really easy to reply to a situation with a flippant response but you need to look at how you react to him.

YANBU to not want to take him to London, he defied you and is behaving like a spoilt brat.

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