AIBU to not take da away

[MozzchopsThirty]

It's been an expensive month with uniform etc to buy
This weekend I'm taking ds1 & 2 to London
I've booked Madame Tussaud's, Tower of London etc
So I asked them to not ask me for any money this week so I wasn't skint for London

Anyway despite that they've been to local football place and trampoline park

This morning ds (15) text his grandad saying mum has no money can I have £20 to go out

I was mortified and angry so I text his grandad and said to ignore the text and I would give him some money

I then phoned ds and said I was cross and that's I'd asked his grandfather not to give him money, before I could finish he hung up and then sent me the following msg

So WWYD? Still take him to London or not? I'm thinking not, and teaching him a lesson

Happy to be told AIBU though

Photo removed by MNHQ as it contains identifying information

@MozzchopsThirty
You, definitely, do not sound like a shit mother. You sound fun and invested in your kids.

Of course you arent a shit mother. He sounds like little a cheeky shit though. Tell him to try and earn some money. At 15 he's old enough to do that.

Does the 15 year old actually want to go to Madame Tussauds? I can't imagine why anyone would want to go but I would have thought a 15 year old boy is not exactly their target audience.

You are not a shit mother.

He is a shit for asking his GP for money behind your back and for being so rude to you. He is trying to manipulate his GP.

If you haven't paid anything out I would cancel London.

I hope his grandfather knows that he must never be given money unless you've OKd it.

I guess I would take him to London, but if he pestered to buy anything the answer would be no.

Your post is perfectly clear, don't know what people are complaining about.

Don't have teenagers so won't weigh on appropriate punishments, but I would be absolutely raging at both the begging from a grandparent and the hanging up.

I don’t get it...is that text from ds or his dad?

If he apologies you might reconsider ...

Stop giving him money sounds like an entitled brat

Ah ok sorry, I get it now.

Take him to London because you won’t enjoy the day as much knowing he’s at home stewing. But he needs to apologise.

What did his texts say? They’ve been removed from the OP.

You're not a shit mother and that's real brat behaviour at any age to go whining to grandad asking for money because mum won't give me any. Stick to your guns, he needs to learn it doesn't grow on trees and he can't just do everything he wants to and you pick up the tab.

I don’t see the problem with him asking his grandad tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes I’d still take him to London, like why wouldn’t you? His 15 teenagers sometimes do things that piss you off, you probably pissed your parents off sometimes too but his hardly committed the crime of the year

I'm interested to know what the text conversation was before I comment! Can anyone give brief details?

Can't see the photo, what did the text say?

Too late now as you've booked, but if money is tight there are cheaper ways to enjoy London than Madame Tussaud's and The Tower.

I hope his grandfather knows that he must never be given money unless you've OKd it.

Come off it. Since when has a grandparent had to ok it with a parent as to whether they can give £20 to a 15 year old?

That said, OP's so was cheeky to ask him for it.

Can't see the texts so don't know whether London trip should be cancelled or not.

In a nutshell:

Mum: "Your life would have been better if I had a chance to finish..."

DS: "I'm not going to apologise nor talk to you..." in teenage text-speak.

What was the big deal about him asking his grandparents? My children do this at times and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. If you hadn't told them not to ask their grandparents I would understand but you didn't so why are you upset? I haven't read his reply but you completely overreacted in my view so yes YABU

Well yes he's a bit of an ungrateful gobshite, but I don't see asking GPs for a bit of pocket money as all that terrible. Is this the hill you want to die on? I agree with a PP - I'd say, "Ah come on, this is daft, let's forget it and go to London" and draw a line under it.

I don’t see the problem with him asking his grandad tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would be raging if my DC did this, and if I'd done it my life wouldn't have been worth living. It's so grabby. Grandparents will give a gift if they choose. And our family is well off, but £20 would only be given at Christmas and birthdays.

Is it really such a big deal that he asked his grandfather for money knowing that you couldn't afford it
It would be a massive deal for me.
Asking for money is entirely unacceptable.
If you are a child, you don't ask. You put it to your primary carer that you would like to do something, tell them why, tell them the arrangements and the cost. Making your case. Not asking. Then you wait for their response, for or against, and accept it.
You certainly do not go to any other family member, any more than you would go to a stranger. It's disrespectful to your parents and to the family member. It's greedy, grabbing, selfish - and probably just thoughtless, but the ds needs to learn his lesson from it.
Tell him how you feel. Tell him you'll take him to London because it's already booked, but he should start now looking for a part-time job or earning money from chores, because there won't be any more 'extra' money until the New Year.
And stick to it.

Yes he wanted to go to Madame Tussaud's that was his choice
Younger da wants to go to imperial war museum

His grandparents are amazing (exh's parents) and I spoke with grandad who said he's quite happy to give him some spending or pocket money but only on agreement from me

He hasn't spoken to me anyway, brushed past me in the house and didn't say a word