What’s the most minor thing your other half does that unreasonably winds you up?

[FiveFarthings]

Confession time just for fun (need some light relief after being up all night with baby!)

What’s the most minor thing that your other half does that unreasonably winds you up?

For me, it’s that my husband squeezes the tube of tooth paste from the middle rather than the bottom, leaving the tube all twisted so you can’t get anything out. It is such a minor thing but my god it makes me rage and I am totally disproportionately unreasonable about it!

Anyone else have anything similar?

If he’s got a headache he’ll go off and take paracetamol. But only one tablet. He’s 6’3 and 15 stone. And complain that he’s still got a head ache. Then take the full dose!
He also doesn’t call them paracetamol. He calls them paras. Which annoys me.

My main gripe with my dh is when I have put plates in the sink nicely stacked to have a soak. I will go to do the washing up later to find a dinner plate perched on top of the bowls not even in the water. Does my head in. 🤔

Balances the new loo roll on top of the empty one rather that putting it on the holder

Cannot or will not push a shopping trolley properly. Whirls it round or pulls it from the front or even sideways. Is never near me with the bloody thing when I'm shopping so I end up with armfuls of stuff traipsing round looking for the sodding trolley.

If he didn't earn £150k a year and buy me a sports car I'd probably LTB

Ooh, ooh - when he brushes his teeth, doesn't rinse away the toothpaste that gets around his mouth, but wipes it on the bathroom hand towel (which we share), leaving toothpaste which then dries crusty.

And complains that I do laundry too often

Puts his dirty dishes in the sink instead of the dishwasher (which gets emptied in the morning and filled throughout the day)

I think I'm sharing my husband with half of mumsnet

He sneezes REALLY loud - have discovered his mother does too - I have started doing the same to make him realise how annoying it is. And he yawns really loudly, he can yawn loudly because when I snap and tell him all of a sudden he yawns quietly. He eats his food in separate bits, so he'll eat all the potatoes, then all the cabbage, then the meat etc. Not so annoying after 25 years but weird! Wanders all over the place when looking at his phone, so I end up 'steering' him out of the way of people, because it would drive me nuts if someone wandered back and forward in front of me.
I wonder what he would moan about me? I brush the kitchen floor then leave it in a little pile to use the dustpan later.. never happens. Love him to bits though...

can yawn quietly!

Takes off like Mo Farah if he pushes the trolley in the supermarket. I turn around to ask him a question and end up speaking to a total stranger next to me about if we should get coleslaw and potato salad etc. He's midway down the next aisle in some kind of solitary trolley dash. I find him and remind him we are shopping together and I do have the list which is why I stopped in the chilled foods aisle to pick up things we need and he's already champing at the bit to be off. He’ll then ask if ”our work here is done?” with one pot of yoghurt and a bag of grated cheese in the trolley and if I don't say no immediately he's galloping to the check out with said trolley as if it's free beer for a year for the next person to pay.

Quite where he thinks our meals come from...

I also have a middle of the toothpaste squeezer. And he leaves the lid off.

Walks 20 paces ahead of me whenever we are out, and he walks really fast, like he's angry, the man cannot stroll. I swear anyone who sees us must think we've had an almighty row.

If we're going anywhere, he sets some arbitrary time to leave, and we can't leave before or after that. For example I'll say "we need to set off at about 11.30", and he'll decide that we have to leave at 11.25, and gets annoyed if we haven't gone by 11.28.

Performance sneezing.

Refuses to use plurals when talking about money - i.e. "it was forty pound".

If anyone says "How are you/how was your day?" ALWAYS replies "Not, bad, not bad."

Makes toast on the worktop, and leaves the crumbs for me to tidy up in the morning. But is constantly telling the kids off for leaving crumbs everywhere.

Is always lining up the remotes on the far side of the coffee table when you're not looking, so you have to get up to reach it to change channels or adjust the volume. I've left the remote right next to us so we can reach it, STOP BLOODY MOVING IT AWAY!

Hoovers at 7.20am every Sunday morning. Even though 99% of the time I did it on Saturday afternoon.

Repeats things unnecessarily, as in, someone will say "I went to the garage and got new tyres." and he'll say "Oh right, right, you went to the garage did you?"

Sticks his tongue right out like a lizard when he yawns.

Watches endless fucking cookery shows, but never cooks anything. At all.

I quite like him really.

Sits quite a way away from the kitchen table when eating and there is'a small gap between the back of his chair and the worktop. So it's difficult for me to slide through if I want to get up. Yet I always have to ask him to move his chair in, he never just sits closer to the table! (and I am quite slim).

The other thing is when he decides a job needs to be done and just does it - eg paint skirting boards in entrance hall. I can't get anwyhere in the house because you have to go through the not every big entrance hall to get anywhere. But I am unreasonable to complain because most women moan their husbands don't do things around the house and I must be the only wife in the world who complains when their husband actually does a job. Well yes, but I would still like a bit of consultation about timing.

Lastly, same theme, decides to iron shirts. Fridge is in utility room and he irons in the utility room. So no access to fridge. He will start 30 minutes before I want to cook dinner and as he takes about 30 mins per shirt (slight exaggeration) I can't get into the fridge easily. He also does it before lunch on a Saturday.

However, he never leaves the loo seat up and he puts the lid on the toothpaste.

Opens a loaf of bread by ripping a big hole halfway down the plastic bag rather than undo the tag so it can be folded over and kept fresh.

Opens a box of cereal by tearing the cardboard top into pieces.

Oh and he calls a computer a "pooter". AAAGH he wasn't even a child when they came out! Why on earth would a grown man call it a pooter? Mind you he doesn't do it often, I think he just says it sometimes because he knows it winds me up.

If you asked him the same question it would be that I put on loo rolls the wrong way round. And fill the bin until it's bursting because I am too lazy to empty it.

He doesn't rinse his toothbrush properly and it stinks of stale spit, manky food particles and toothpaste residue. Stinks the whole room out. Makes me literally nauseous. I got so pissed off about it a few weeks ago that I smashed the ceramic toothbrush holder on the floor outside and threw his toothbrush down the toilet. He has been more careful since but he is slipping and it makes me feel murderous.

Uses the word sangwich. Uses less instead of fewer (but, to be fair, I think he does this purposely, to wind me up 😄)

@user00119922
Were it not for the poo, you’d be speaking about OH.

I call it “near to” everything goes near to where it belongs. On the worktop, not in the dishwasher; next to the bin, not in it; keys on the work top next to the key rack. I always threaten to serve him a raw meal and say “I put it near to the oven”

And putting stuff on top of things with lids, what’s that all about! I’d say it was reasonable to be annoyed about that stuff though.

I must be the only wife in the world who complains when their husband actually does a job. Well yes, but I would still like a bit of consultation about timing.

Yes, count your lucky stars. We have a very long list!

I have a relative who complains that her partner does stuff straightaway and keeps on til it’s done. I showed her my half tied bathroom (6 months) and asked if we could swap.

He peels bananas upside down, i.e. holding the top like a lolly stick. Bloody psychopath!

OMG, some of these are making me laugh out loud!!!

All you with loud sneezers - mine is the opposite, he holds his nose and kind of keeps it in. Creeps me out, and I'm sure he'll one day blow a blood vessel doing it, or force his brains out through his ears.

I thought of another one!

If I or he ever says "Isn't it?" he will add "Isneet, mate?" in the style of Chabuddy G. It was (mildly) funny the first time...

I love him really.

Breathe....

Asks me “ what’s for dinner ?”

Will only open/close one of the curtains and leaves the other.
Empties the bin but doesnt put it back with a new liner.
Only ever puts almost enough water for a cup of tea in the kettle.
Doesnt seem to be able to shake damp clothes out when hanging them out on the line/dryer or put them on there flat.
Cant fold a t-shirt.
Leaves the loo brush (shh!) in the container on the wonk instead of putting it back in properly with lid bit down.
Wont sweat the onions enough or chop them small enough in a meal such as bolognaise or curry so that the meal is full of large bits of half cooked onion.
Seems to be unable to wring out a dishcloth properly.
Oh this is fun. I didnt realise he was sooooooooooo annoying!!

He's our cat's favourite human

Says "could of went".

Says "I've no idea" to easy questions.
For example:
Me: have the kids got their water bottles in their bags?
Him: I've no idea
Me (aside to audience): well let's get an idea shall we - if I'm asking you, that means I haven't done it or I'd not be asking, so if I haven't done it and you "have no idea" that's a "no" isn't it.

Leaves things to do "later".
"I'll put that in the recycling in the morning /I'll come back and put my plate in the dishwasher later" (why not just do it now?)