To ask if you regret buying your house - and how to get over myself?

[Regreteverything]

DP and I bought a run down house in a rough-around-the-edges but "up and coming" area. I didn't think it was that bad when we viewed the house but we've lived here about 6 weeks and I bitterly regret my decision especially after coming from renting in a naice area. It's pretty deprived. I'm struggling to come to terms with what I've done. Every day I see something new which makes me regret this all over again.

Location location location. I wish I'd listened to that mantra.

I had so many ideas for the house and now I feel like I don't want to "waste" money doing it up really nicely as I don't want to stay here. I no longer care about the doors, the floors, any of it.

There are chavvy kids and teenagers being anti social in the streets. I get that it's half term and the situation might be magnified but I just feel constantly on edge.

Neighbours screaming and shouting at each other at all hours of the day and night.

I have seen two separate pregnant women smoking.

We were going to TTC when we bought a house and were maybe halfway through the renovations but honestly I feel my ovaries shrivelling up at the thought. I don't want to have a baby here and I don't want to send my non-existant DC to school with these screaming, shrieking, swearing children.

DP says that I'm being nasty, dramatic and a snob, that it's not that bad here and I just need to get used to it, but I dread going home and find myself looking for excuses to stay late at work and browsing Rightmove...

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What did you do? What should I do?

I bought my house, although it's still mortgaged. Area used to be ok but has deteriorated enormously. So I'm seriously considering selling up and private letting in a nice area (that I can't afford to buy in). For peace of mind I'm probably going to do it. At the end of the day you've got to be happy and you've got to want to be home. If you don't, you already know what you've got to do.

Sorry to hear that

Can I say I really don't like the way you describe your neighbours and the people in the area as chavs
Totally disrespectful

Maybe they look on you as a chav!?

Just something to consider 😘😘

I understand OP. We had a lovely flat in a gorgeous area but wanted a house so we had to move. We’re in a different London suburb now, next to some lovely ones, but ours isn’t!

When we moved in both my husband and I were utterly filled with buyers remorse - the kitchen started falling apart, the rooms were so badly decorated it was awful and the whole place was filthy and stank of smoke - it was utterly disgusting.

But, we got to work and 5 years on its increased in value by £100k, I’ve made it a home, and made a nice group of friends.

It takes time. See how things are after the holiday and if you still hate it then moving is always an option.

I cried the first two nights in my house - it was August and boiling. I had the windows open the church clock is really loud. Plus I had no curtains and it was light and bright late and early. No sleep at all.

But it's fine now. Got used to the church. Got curtains. Am getting used to it being such a warm house all the time too!

Sorry that I seem to have offended people by using the word "chavvy". It's a shortcut to get my meaning across and I think everyone knows exactly the kind of people I meant when I said that.

Trying to make the best of the situation, I think I will work to do the house up but as PPs said to a mid quality standard and reign it in a bit. I'm obviously worried about house prices because of Brexit but if we can't sell I think I'll have to persuade DP to rent the house out and then rent ourselves somewhere nicer. I think we paid too much for it as well, I wanted to offer £10k less but here we are.

The house isn't bothering me that much, I think I can make any house look nice with limited resources, I have done in our rented flats up until now. The house is riddled with issues we need to address, although that isn't bothering me as much as the neighbourhood.

And I don't have a single "sanctuary" room so I do feel a bit out of sorts and constantly looking for work, I can't relax here. That being said, the downstairs is freezing in the mornings and it's August so I'm worried about living here in the winter.

We also still don't have the internet so I'm on my phone, apologies for not tagging people and responding properly.

It's a lot to take in and I feel so overwhelmed.

Thank you for kind words so far and I'm sorry to hear that others are also in similar situations

OP - ignore the people bitching about using the word chavvy. They exist unfortunately... and we all know it.

Yes Ive been in the same situation, lovely brand new home in a 'regeneration area' did several visits at different times of the day and all seemed okay. In the first week of moving in we had a motorbike stolen from the back garden, youths used to run and jump the fences between the houses, anti social behaviour, drug dealing, men would pee up the fence of the house opposite (in the middle of the day) , the list goes on. We sold after 2 years....In your position I would do the bare minimum to the house and try and sell it.

It has been chilly in the mornings in my boiling hot house the last few days. Plus, having never had any real trouble in 10 years, had a gang of kids messing around on the estate yesterday, banging on doors, stealing and generally being nuisances. Give it time.

You're not alone OP.

We bought our house when I was pregnant, in a rush to get out of the rough city where we lived before the baby arrived. Nice little village, close to my family, good schools.

I absolutely hate this house with every fibre of my being. No room to swing a cat, absolutely zero storage, a tiny, dated, badly designed kitchen, it's constantly dark, a tiny garden so no opportunity to extend, nowhere to hang washing and no room for a dryer, rough as arsehole neighbours who scream obscenities for my children to hear day and night... I could go on all day. I hate it so much but the fees crippled us financially so we're stuck for goodness knows how long. It constantly feels like the walls are closing in on me. I feel suffocated just thinking about it. We were blinded by the location and field views (and pregnancy hormones) but I'd take a better house in a worse location tomorrow if I could.

It's shite.

I do sympathise. Weirdly, I'm sort of in an opposite situation to you. We had a house in a fairly, er, gritty inner city area where the police helicopter was a regular feature in the sky above. We moved to a much nicer area but our new house just feels like too much to manage. It needed loads more work than we thought and we are utterly appalling at DIY, so it just feels like a money pit and feels tatty and depressing and shoddy inside. Sometimes I'd like to go back to our little, easy to manage, pristine new build in one of the most deprived council wards in England.

@Regreteverything Oh dear OP, you've got me worried now 😞. We are moving house next Monday. Our situation is very similar to yours. We're currently in a gorgeous detatched farmhouse in a very desirable village, and are moving to an inner-city large period end of terraced on the edge of a lovely area, but also bordering one of the most deprived areas in the country. The reasons for moving were that we wanted to take advantage of the equity we've made so we can halve our mortgage, pay off our debts and move our daughter to a better school. We scrimp and save at the moment, but won't need to once we move. Like you, I'm worried whether the house will be freezing in winter. Our current home is cosy and warm. The new house has 16ft high ceilings and single glazing. I'm already second guessing our decision and we haven't moved in yet. Feeling sick about it. The local neighbourhood is right in the city centre, so fairly high crime and lots of deprivation. I've got miles of farmer's fields outside of my current house. My advice to you is to stay put for a while. You might lose money if you try to sell it, and it'll look off putting to prospective buyers if you're selling up so quickly. Xx

Generally, people can't afford to buy houses as nice as the ones they can afford to rent, so it's not a surprise that it's not in such a nice place. The way to get out of that situation is to do the house up, wait until you're in a better financial position, then move. If you move now, you still won't be able to afford anywhere better and you'll have lost another lot of moving costs.

But also, get to know the people where you live. They're just people. When you get to know them you won't feel so on edge as you do while they are strangers.

Totally sympathise with you OP. I've lived in some rough rough council estates when I was in social housing.

Met DH, bought a house in a fancy new build estate, all private, neighbours were lovely and amazing but I fucking hated the house. Tiny bedrooms, all grey everything, the kitchen was shit the garden was shit and all I could think was how much I wanted to go back to my house in the rough council bit.

I had to move after a year, I tried redecorating the whole house but still hated it. We've moved to an area a bit less nice, more industrial, closer to busy roads and the neighbours are loud as fuck at weekends, but I love the house. Its finally home!!

Try and see it out for a year and revisit the option of moving if you haven't decided you love it!

MrsPworkingmummy

Oh no, I'm sorry! Hopefully yours will be fine. Try to think of practical solutions to your issues ahead of time though so that you're better prepared for e.g. the cold. Forewarned is forearmed etc.

I’d do the work and move.
You will lose a monumental amount of money on stamp duty/fees if you sell now. Also buyers can check when houses last sold and one that completed less than 8 weeks ago that wasn’t obviously “flipped” by a developer would be ringing alarm bell

I'd do it up on a budget, make a profit and move. If you end up liking it then you can stay. Things like tidying the garden up, painting rooms, new carpet (dont have to go for an expensive one), etc will make it feel a lot better. There's a lot you can do yourself. Also look at gumtree and fb marketplace for second hand furniture you can upcycle.

There's loads of budget house renovation Instagram's on the go atm, loads have highlights around their budget kitchen makeovers and whatnot.

At least if you do this, sell and make your money back, you'll know you tried.

I can empathise. We couldn't get a mortgsge for a house as we don't have a credit history in this country, so my family kindly loaned us enough to buy a house outright and pay them back the loan lioe a mortgage. Unfortunately the money was about 30k short of what we would need for a house in good nick or in a better area. So we ended up getting a place that on the surface seemed better than most in our range. Well, it turned out to be just a money pit disaster house. The walls crumvle and leave holes in the plaster, and the old stinky carpets we ripped up left a gap below walls for the dust to billow out of daily. Every day a new layer of dust coats everything. Our boiler died, we had a pipe burst and a roof leak all within a year. We had to go without hot water for about a year, and heating for 6 months. Then another pipe burst and the ceiling came in downstairs. A wondow fell out of its frame. The back bedroom is unusable right now due to the roof leak we had to wait a few months to fix. The new roof cost $5k. We still haven't fixed the leaking pipe which means no cold water upstairs right now. God knows when we can afford to remove all the mouldy dry wall in the back bedroom so we can use it again.
Between the dust, the roaches, the mice and the mould my husband and son have had a bunch of emergency room trips for severe asthma attacks.
The guy 2 doors down was shot on the corner of the street right by the corner shop.
The house 5 doors down was empty and got taken over by drug dealers so it is now a crack house and dodgy folks wander past all day and night. Police raid it occasionally, but nothing seems to change.
I totally regret buying the house. Despite having sunk about $10k more in renovations over the last few years, it looks far worse than when we bought it. I dread trying to sell it.

I know how you feel.
I moved into our house and hated it. Our neighbour were ‘chavvy’ (sorry but it’s the easiest term to use) and made a lot of noise at random times. We used any excuse to not go home.
They have quietened down now and are actually fine.
I love my house now and wouldn’t dream of moving.

Do what you need to do to make your house nice and see how you feel after you’ve done it.

lastqueenofscotland chocpop

Yes I think we'll definitely have to do the work. For appearances as well as our own comfort. There's just so much to do.

flyingspaghettimonster

What an absolute nightmare

PancakeAndKeith

Glad it's improved - how long did it take them to settle down?

Yes my first flat was in an awful area and I was so naive I thought the kids wandering around with golf clubs were actually going to pay golf(!)
We stayed a year and did some work on it and sold for a decent profit the following year as it was considered an up and coming area. Twenty years on its still not a nice area but it’s expensive!

You do sound rather snobby tbh, presumably you bought the best house you could afford? Why do you think you are 'better' than others on your budget? Your neighbours are your equals.

Bought my house as it was a nice area and it is. Good neighbours, local pub, Tesco & Sainsbury's & Lidls all close by. Health centre nearby, Hospital about a mile away. Bus at the end of the (short) street, Train station nearby, town centre close by. All positive except... its small, backs onto some waste ground thats overgrown and invades the back garden, has warm air heating (hadn't had warm air before - hate it). Would like more room but really like the location.

“Your neighbours are your equals.”

Er no, because her neighbours are smoking while pregnant etc etc

Oh yes I did this.

Fancy pants flat in a super cool central area, moved out to Z3 to get a house. 'Up and coming' area. Moved in and realised how bodged the house was, bathroom was falling apart etc. I cried. I felt I had made a terrible, terrible mistake.

Anyway, I got the work done, made it a home and it took just under a year before I fell back in love with the house. Once summer rolled around and I could use the garden, and I was reminded about all the good things about the house and area.

Give it time, its actually really stressful moving.

I'm on a street similar to this, it was cheap and for a reason! Its definitely more noticable during school holidays. However.. as it's cheap a lot of other young couples have started buying the houses and renovating. The houses are all starting to regenerate and its constantly improving the quality of the street. Hopefully you start to feel more settled soon