to think depression isn't an excuse for not walking a dog

[cowsoy]

Or at least arranging for someone else to walk it. Someone I know suffers depression and their dog is left unwalked.

I feel quite sorry for the dog and a bit annoyed at the person. Perhaps I could offer to walk the dog for them? I'm worried though that they might just expect me to walk it forever...

On the other hand, I do understand that people with depression can be physically unable to get out of bed, so I am partly being unreasonable.

Thoughts?

Depression is an illness. If a person isn’t in control of their symptoms they are unlikely to be entirely in control of their behaviour.

I don’t think depression is a good enough excuse not to walk a dog, but I am prepared to be flamed for that opinion.

Personally if I was so depressed I couldn’t deal with mine I would rehome them rather than subject them to a miserable existence.

You’ve summed it up. Walking the dog would be useful for that person: exercise helps to lift depression. But it’s so hard to take that first step.

Could you try to persuade the person to walk the dog with you as a way to ease them back into it?

When you're really depressed , it can be really hard to motivate yourself to do anything.

My MIL can't even motivate herself to get out of bed, bathe or eat, unless DP forces her to. She's in hospital now. She's been sectioned multiple times in the last 40 years.

So on that basis, sorry, you're being unreasonable. Have you suggested you walk the dog or arrange a dog walker for them?

to hercule: I'd never thought of it in that way before, that is useful, thank you.

makingmammaries: yes, that is a good idea too. Thanks very much.

Okay so I am a long time sufferer of severe depression.

Most days I can't get out of bed. A pet is a massive help and makes me feel a bit more positive.
Please offer to walk the dog for your friend, it'll mean so much to them.
They won't expect you to walk it forever, no. It just might make them realise that they need to sort something out re walks.

Depression is awful, it doesn't go away, it's constant.
Sometimes, you see a little break in the clouds but then it disappears and you're back to square one.

Your friend probably relies on the company the dogs give them

When you're depressed leaving the house can feel insurmountable. And having the clarity of thinking to arrange dog walking might not be possible. I get what you're saying OP but depression skews all thinking. I say that as someone dx with major depressive disorder.

Peonies - yes many ailments are helped by fresh air. Having the ability to access that fresh air is a different thing.

When I was in the worst of my depression I couldn't leave the house to buy food using the internet to order food or phone someone to bring me food was also beyond me even though I obviously needed to eat. I didnt eat anything for days. If I had a dog at the time I very much doubt t it would have been walked or that I would have arranged someone else to walk it.

If I was in your position I would walk the dog.

And you "thought" you had a heart problem? Yes, that's exactly like living with a mental health diagnosis.

Ffs. Depression isn’t about not being arsed, Peoniesarepink.

It's sad that people know so little about depression that they make judgements like this about a sufferer.

Sad and ignorant.

Peonies what a stupid, ignorant post. Depression is a (sometimes serious) illness. It’s not laziness.

This is tricky. I know a woman who has suffered severe depressive episodes all her life and is also an animal lover. Sadly, in one episode her animals were so neglected someone contacted the RSPCA and her animals were taken off her. I understand a court case is pending. It is desparately tragic, people had tried to help but she wasn't answering the door. But you cannot neglect your animals to the extent they are lacking basic needs, such as fresh water, animals have needs and rights as well.

OP, if your friend will let you in, perhaps you can suggest kennels or respite care for the dog while she is at her illest. If she gets reported, it will be so much worse for her.

Depression is helped massively by exercise and fresh air.

Not always.

So would it be more accurate, instead of saying

'AIBU to think depression isn't an excuse for not walking a dog'

to say:

'AIBU to think that it's unfortunate that due to depression, a dog isn't being walked, and what can I do about it?'

It is not an "excuse" not to walk the dog - it is a reason. Some people with clinical depression cannot even get out of bed.

I think you are being very judgemental - I hope you never suffer from depression.

It’s not “an excuse” but it is a reason. People with depression don’t look after themselves, are often suicidal, how can they be expected to look after a dog if they’re not even capable of keeping themselves alive?
If you care, offer to help. If you just want to judge them then bugger off.

You are being massively unreasonable. Mental illnesses like depression can be completely debilitating. Someone close to me suffers this and does not eat for many days at a time, does not bathe for weeks, cannot care for herself. So actually quite offensive to consider such an illness an excuse.

And yes, offer to walk the dog!

'AIBU to think that it's unfortunate that due to depression, a dog isn't being walked, and what can I do about it?

That would be much better. Concern for the dog without judgement of the owner who is ill.

I think that would be much more astute OP, yes.

I'm lucky enough to have only teetered on the edge of proper depression. It isn't something you can just pull yourself out of and walk the dog/make a phone call/cook and eat properly, for example, at all.

It isn't an excuse, no.

It is a reason.

Is depression an excuse to kill yourself?
Is depression an excuse to stop taking vital medication and disable yourself further?
Is depression an excuse to eat yourself to death, or into such a poor quality of life that you might as well not be alive?
What about hoarding, drug taking, risky behaviour?
Or lose residency of your children?

I've known all those scenarios to ne because of depression.

Either help or report, but stop sitting in judgement.

Yes, it is terribly cruel. Dogs rely on us for EVERYTHING. OP, please please offer to help. The dog will be suffering 😢