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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have dog PTS

86 replies

VivienScott · 13/08/2019 08:37

Long story short, dog has cancerous growths on paws that are open, bleeding and a bit smelly to the point now he is limping badly and struggles walking. Vet confirmed it last month and until the other week he was happy enough in pain meds. In last week he’s deteriorated quickly and now is struggling, but in himself he seems happy. Wants food, always trying to move around, wags his tail etc. I know he’s probably got a few weeks left if I’m being honest given his deterioration. However, I’m due to go on holiday in a couple of days, and I’m really not sure he’ll be here when we get back. It feels cruel to leave him with my friend who said she’d look after him to have him possibly die when I’m away with no family there, and massively unfair on my friend though she doesn’t mind.
I don’t think he’s really got a quality of life or any longevity left at the moment, but at the same time having him pts before it’s absolutely necessary seems to be more to suit my holiday plans than his needs. But I’m also aware having him pts before he’s at deaths door is probably kinder. I’ve the vets today, AIBU to have him pts

OP posts:

HouseworkAvoider10 · 13/08/2019 11:08

The poor dog should be PTS today or at the latest tomorrow.

tomatostottie · 13/08/2019 11:10

So sorry for this. It's awful when a beloved pet nears the end of his life. There's nothing more you can do for him than give him a dignified end.
If you're not sure that he'll still be here when you come back from holiday then you know in your heart that he only has a few days more. Better that you are there with him and can hold him and he goes knowing that you love him than your friend has to make the decision during your holiday and has to be with him at the end.

messolini9 · 13/08/2019 11:15

Dogs are expert at hiding pain, it is a natural instinct.

Yes, they are, & you see your dog still looking happy because he is - when you are there for him. Don't go away & leave him pining for you now he is so poorly.

Brace yourself & get the deed done - but I beg you - NOT at the vet's. Pay a little extra for a callout & surround your old boy with his family, his favourite treats, & as much love as he can absorb.

Good luck OP. It is hard, but it is your final responsibility to him. Don't let him suffer alone without his family. Let him go now, with dignity & love

messolini9 · 13/08/2019 11:18

@PantsyMcPantsface - lovely post upthread there xx

PantsyMcPantsface · 13/08/2019 11:22

@PantsyMcPantsface - lovely post upthread there xx

He had a cracking final day on this Earth - was Christmas and he scoffed most of the turkey and ALL of my Tesco Finest Pork Stuffing balls - it was like a geriatric Pacman chomping his way along a trail of little stuffing ball dots of yum.

ALemonyPea · 13/08/2019 11:32

Such a sad decision to have to make, but I think in those circumstances I would, so that your dog could die with his love I gotta family around him rather than your friend.

KarmaStar · 13/08/2019 11:47

Hello OP
A really awful decision for you,but as you know in your heart,it's time to let him go.
Dogs,like many animals,are aware of when it's their time to leave the earth plans and accept it without fear.
I asked the vet to come to our home and our boy went to sleep in my arms in the sunshine in the garden.
Please don't leave him to suffer and miss you when you go away.
Plus you will worry about him.
I do not know your personal beliefs,so I won't say anything else,but if you do believe life continues,pm me and I will tell you what happened recently with my boy.(If you wanted to know that is)
But trust you are absolutely doing the right thing.

KarmaStar · 13/08/2019 11:47

Plane not plans!

NoddyAndBessie · 13/08/2019 12:04

For fuck's sake. I'm nearly in tears every time I read this thread.

Cosmos45 · 13/08/2019 15:38

@PantsyMcPantsface. I am sobbing here at your post. Bless you

drinkygin · 13/08/2019 17:39

Op I am so sorry you’re going through this I do think it’s the right decision though and kindest for your boy.

WendyBagina · 13/08/2019 18:09

Crying at @PantsyMcPantsface

TheDarkPassenger · 13/08/2019 18:12

My friends mum had to put her dog down while friend was away.. horrendous for everyone involved. I would do it sooner rather than later and when you can all be there

Cherrysoup · 13/08/2019 18:31

PTS. I was distraught taking mine to the vet earlier this year but I looked at him and couldn’t allow him to suffer any longer. If you’re thinking it, it’s probably time. Mine had no idea where he was, so taking him to the vet was a good option.

VimFuego101 · 13/08/2019 18:35

YANBU - much better to do it at a time when you can be with him.

Original poster

VivienScott · 13/08/2019 18:38

Had him PTS earlier. Still felt too early but it always is, what you really want is for them to just go quietly in their sleep, but that rarely happens and there is no point in time that’s best for them and you emotionally and I think I came to terms with that with your posts. Really miss the old boy but it’s what happens when you have a pet.
It’s awful, but I do feel a little relieved if I’m honest, not having to battle to clean his sores and then drug him (which he hated) or wondering how long he had etc and worrying constantly about him.
We’re getting his ashes, and going to plant a rose bush for them in his favourite spot in the garden when we’re back from hols.

OP posts:

CaptainCabinets · 13/08/2019 18:42

and for you. And an un-Mumsnetty great big hug. You made the right decision for your old boy.

MrsTommyBanks · 13/08/2019 18:42

I always think when dogs struggle to walk and are in pain its kinder to PTS.
I think I waited too long with my olg girl earlier this year. I wish in retrospect I'd let her go sooner.

Aprillygirl · 13/08/2019 18:43

I'm so sorry for your loss, OP but you definitely did the right thing by being with him right until the end

MrsTommyBanks · 13/08/2019 18:44

I know its heartbreaking, but you absolutely did the right thing. I'm sorry for your loss . I'm sure you have a million happy memories to keep him with you.

Karigan195 · 13/08/2019 18:47

The decision you made was the best for him. My condolences and respect to you. 💐

Arsenicinthesugarbowl · 13/08/2019 18:48

Oh OP I had my boy PTS sleep 3 weeks ago and some lovely advice in the doghouse forum at the time.
My boy went out like a King-ham sandwich, bar of chocolate and the day on the sofa. It was so upsetting at the time but I have his ashes back and a very kind mumsnetter reminded me that it was the last good thing I could do for him.
You did the right thing for your dog. He was with you at the end and previous posters are right. When they show you they’re in pain it’s a sign of how bad they are feeling.
Sending you and and

userxx · 13/08/2019 18:49

You've done the right thing, I also understand the slight relieved feeling. It's so stressful having a poorly pet, you don't know if you're doing right for wrong. No more suffering for him and for you.

Bluetrews25 · 13/08/2019 19:05

Oh Vivien so sad you have had to say farewell today.
That was a kind thing that you did.
Proper sobbing here reading all the above posts.
Takes me back to a couple of years ago when we had similar with our much missed girl.
Best wishes to all who miss their four-legged family members.

Honeybingbong · 13/08/2019 19:18

You did the best thing for for boy. You’ve made a brave and hard choice and I’m proud of you. I’ve been thinking about you all day. Lovely idea of a rose bush.
I’m so sorry for loss

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