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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have dog PTS

86 replies

VivienScott · 13/08/2019 08:37

Long story short, dog has cancerous growths on paws that are open, bleeding and a bit smelly to the point now he is limping badly and struggles walking. Vet confirmed it last month and until the other week he was happy enough in pain meds. In last week he’s deteriorated quickly and now is struggling, but in himself he seems happy. Wants food, always trying to move around, wags his tail etc. I know he’s probably got a few weeks left if I’m being honest given his deterioration. However, I’m due to go on holiday in a couple of days, and I’m really not sure he’ll be here when we get back. It feels cruel to leave him with my friend who said she’d look after him to have him possibly die when I’m away with no family there, and massively unfair on my friend though she doesn’t mind.
I don’t think he’s really got a quality of life or any longevity left at the moment, but at the same time having him pts before it’s absolutely necessary seems to be more to suit my holiday plans than his needs. But I’m also aware having him pts before he’s at deaths door is probably kinder. I’ve the vets today, AIBU to have him pts

OP posts:

LuvSmallDogs · 13/08/2019 10:00

Also, different kinds of cancer and animal, but my family had a couple of cats with terminal cancer and it did seem that once big quick changes started, they didn't stop until the end. Eg: well enough to go out to his favourite sunbathing spot on Monday, couldn't stand up on Wednesday.

womblessofwimbledon · 13/08/2019 10:15

Yanbu

It's tough but animals mask pain so if they are showing signs it will be bad.

Hugs

AGenericUsername · 13/08/2019 10:16

YANBU. I would hate for our dog to die alone whilst I were on holiday. It's kinder on you all to have him it's with his family there. It's so hard to know when to draw the line and say goodbye. It broke my heart to let my cat go. He was 20 and my best furry friend. It gets to a point though where you're being unkind and selfish to let them carry on just because you don't want to let them go. Hold him and let him know he was loved.

womblessofwimbledon · 13/08/2019 10:17

We put our elderly cat down before our holiday. She had dementia, was partial blind and could not have coped with cattery or home visits, she needed someone around 24/7 as she got very distressed

Kko1986 · 13/08/2019 10:19

I'm so so sorry, what you are going through is so difficult I have to agree it's probably time and best you are with him for the end x my thoughts are with you at this difficult time good luck and know you are giving him the best gift to be free from pain xxxx

LizzieSiddal · 13/08/2019 10:21

We did something similar. We were going away for a month with work. Our darling dog had dementia, was very very confused and had deteriorated terribly in the weeks before. She didn’t even know who we were sometimes, and was so anxious (we had medication, but it didn’t help).

It was an awful decision to make but you have to do what’s kindest for your pet.

Cosmos45 · 13/08/2019 10:22

I always remember the phrase, "better a week too early than a week too late". I had to make the heart wrenching decision 2 years ago to put my horse to sleep. I know i did it at the right time and I think you are wise to look into doing it now and for Ddog to have family around rather than a friend of yours whilst you are on holiday.

Honeybingbong · 13/08/2019 10:27

My dog died early this year. I didn’t have to put him to sleep because it happened so quickly. He died in my arms sat in his bed while I told him he’d been the best boy. He was so peaceful and dignified. All he wanted was his mum.
Please don’t go away and leave him. Have him pts before you go. Been there for mine meant the world to me and it’s the last thing we do for them.
It’s hard to say goodbye to them so I’m sending you a virtual hug

ineedaholidaynow · 13/08/2019 10:30

My DP's had their old dog PTS just before they moved house. He was getting wobbly on his legs and very nearly blind. He had got into a routine where he just went into a certain part of their garden and knew where furniture etc was in their home. They knew he was close to the end and that he would not cope with the house move as a different place would confuse him. It was a very hard decision but they knew it was the right one.

I am so sorry you are having to make this choice

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 13/08/2019 10:34

It seems it’s time.

Marshmallow91 · 13/08/2019 10:41

Please whatever you do, be with him. Buy him a McDonald's or something and spend time together. It's going to be horrible if his family aren't around him when he goes regardless. Sending love OP, I know this must be such a difficult time for you.

Marshmallow91 · 13/08/2019 10:43

@Honeybingbong

Tears flowing down my face at your post

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 13/08/2019 10:43

Ask for the vet’s opinion as well.

WhereTheFuckIsWonderWoman · 13/08/2019 10:47

I’m so sorry you’re going through this

We had our old boy PTS last summer and I received some excellent advice on here. The main two bits that stood out were:

If it’s an easy decision, you’ve left it too late
Better a month too early than a day too late.

We still miss him enormously but I’ve never regretted the timing, as painful as it was. It was right for him.

HavelockVetinari · 13/08/2019 10:48

YANBU. I'm so sorry you're in this situation

Hollywhiskey · 13/08/2019 10:49

Better a month too early than a day too late.

LoseLooseLucy · 13/08/2019 10:50

Oh it's the absolute pits isn't it

Sir sorry for you both

BenWillbondsPants · 13/08/2019 10:50

YANBU at all. It's time for your poor lad to be pain free.

shockthemonkey · 13/08/2019 10:51

I’m so sorry. I’ll bet you’ve done a ton of good things for your DDog in his life. It would seem best to arrange this last kindness for him before you go, so you can manage it for the best. Hugs

thesnapandfartisinfallible · 13/08/2019 10:52

No I think it's better to let him go a few weeks too early while he is still content and with his people around him than to wait and risk him suffering for even a day.

SugarPlumLairy2 · 13/08/2019 10:58

I’m so sorry you are all going through this. As a dog owner myself I would book the vet appointment, spend a beautiful day making a huge happy fuss of my dog, all the best treats and fave foods etc, and then take them to vets for the injection.
And.. hard as it is to do.. I would hold my dog while the vet did his thing and praise her and give her all the strokes and kisses till she was gone.
No way I could let her go without me there.

So sorry, it’s hard but I think saying goodbye now would be kindest.
Good luck xxx

echt · 13/08/2019 11:00

Agree with WhereTheFuck

I allowed too much time getting DD around to seeing that echtpooch was dying. He was in my house, lying on my bed, and I saw his difficulties daily. To be fair it was complicated by the dog being my late DH's dog and about to peg out close to the second anniversary of his death, so very fraught all round.

In the end I was awakened in the night by his whimpering in pain, despite medication. That was it. I arranged with the vet for the next day. We were able to hug him as he died.

I hope I would never put it off again for the new echtdog.

RosemarysBush · 13/08/2019 11:04

Yanbu. How awful for your friend (and everyone) if he deteriorates further when you’re away and she has to make the decision!

PantsyMcPantsface · 13/08/2019 11:05

It's so hard when they still have the odd good day. I remember we booked the appointment with DDog1 when he'd stood there not quite knowing where he was, back end wobbling and a look on his face of "help me mum - I'm scared"... appointment came the next day and he was bouncing around like his usual idiotic self, and rewarded the vet by doing an enormous poo in the middle of the waiting room. I just wanted to take the daft bastard home and give him a huge hug for rallying at that point - but rationally I knew that he was having so many bad days where he didn't know what was happening (he'd lost his originally limited supply of marbles), where he couldn't stand properly (his back end had lost a lot of strength and feeling) and where he was just getting stuck in the corners of room scared and not able to see his way out - that he had had enough. DH was useless and just stood in the corner of the room sobbing while I cuddled my best mate and told him thank you for being an absolutely awesome dude.

Still hurts and I still miss the daft bugger now 2 years on (he was never the smartest dog in the world - shaggy around the edges and shaggy around the brain cells but was brilliant at grinning inanely at you and his policy of "if in doubt stick out a paw and offer to shake hands" would have got him far in politics)

Hairyheadphones · 13/08/2019 11:07

YANBU, it’s time for him to go

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