To think there's no excuse for being smelly?

[ohflowerofscotland]

eating out with DM and a lady has walked in and the smell of body odour was overpowering, so much so that it really put me off eating and made me feel sick.

what's the excuse for such poor hygiene? I've never understood it

Nope. We moved to a new build estate around 1978 and none of the houses had showers. Baths only, and you used a rubber tubing contraption attached to the taps

My mum’s house is still like this today, as are most of the houses on her estate. I think it’s still very common.

Those rubber tap attachments were a nightmare - always blew off half way through washing hair and scalded me. Then spent ages with soap in my eyes trying to shove it back on!

Doesn't mean people didn't wash. We had a bath too, but everyone washed in the sink every morning, using a flannel and soap and bathed every couple of days.

And even if the services were there, how likely would someone with severe depression or anxiety be to ask for help/expose the problem after reading pages and pages of "eww ,eww,ewww".

Quite!
Hardly "supportive" especially considering on mn there could well be women not only dealing with severe pnd but also taking care of a baby - and even those mothers who didn't have pnd will remember how hard it is in the early days just functioning on sleep deprivation, with stitches, recovering from c sections etc...

Yea... Lovely supportive thread for those mums

One person's unpleasant smell may seem different to another person. Driving home this afternoon OH put his arms up to ease a shoulder pain and I had to open the car window, yet he's always showering and puts on clean clothes at least once a day!

Doesn't mean people didn't wash. We had a bath too, but everyone washed in the sink every morning, using a flannel and soap and bathed every couple of days.

Have you read the thread on strip washing?

Anyone who washes at the sink is grim and stinks like a week old kipper. Mumsnet collective insists those who don’t have a proper shower twice a day are unclean and they can smell them on the bus/tube

AIBU to want a child at 45?

I have one 7 year old and I really long for another. I haven't tried but I want to. I'm worried I'm too old and that the pregnancy (if I got pregnant) would be risky. I'm physically fit as I run a lot.

Should I accept that I'm too old now? I feel a sense of regret.

Please ignore. I clearly don't know how to start a new thread. OP my apologies.

Wasn't there a thread full of disgust,horror and more eww eww ewww about a MIL strip washing in the sink?

Just out of curiosity - I noticed a lot of comments saying things such as ‘what if someone’s just forgotten to put deodorant on’ or ‘maybe they’re using a new deodorant that doesn’t work for them’. Does everyone use deodorant? I only use it very occasionally 😳, a bit like body moisturiser or similar. I didn’t realise everyone wore deodorant everyday. I don’t think I’m smelly, I shower everyday and don’t sweat much. Feeling like a right old grotbag now.

I wear it everyday and definitely need it!

I wear deodorant every day @DoesThisLookRight and have done since I was 12!

@Toooldnowx my friend thought she was going through the menopause at 46 and discovered that she was actually pregnant!! She has a son my DD's age and he is doing brilliantly!

Can't see why people think washing at the sink is grim. If anything you can get cleaner as the soap isn't immediately washed away like a shower would.

@Alexisa66 Thank you for that post i HAVE BEEN HOWLING WITH LAUGHTER!

I have no sense of smell a lot of the time due to sinus issues and I worry about this. I've no idea if either me or DD smell good or bad. I mean we both shower/bath regularly and use a decent deodorant but there's still a possibility that we both stink! Hopefully someone would tell us. It was a nightmare when she was a baby and I was constantly rifling round in her nappy to see if it was spiked as I couldn't smell it (there are some benefits I guess!).

A family member has had severe depression this year. One feature has been a reluctance to wash or care for themself and their skin has broken out badly. I have managed to get them bathed and their hair washed twice a week. At their worst I would run a deep bubbly bath and come back an hour later to find them curled up on the bathroom floor under their dressing gown. I am sure there have been days they looked greasy or smelly.

This has been going on since January and camhs appointment was rushed through and received in late July. Family member has a carer; it's me. Unfortunately I also have rest of the family to support and work to go to.

I long for the day when family member willingly starts washing again as it will mean that they feel less horrific.

@Pieceofpurplesky I am a school nurse. I deal with poverty related issues every day. Every child in the UK has a school nurse allocated to them, tis the law.

We had a family business, one of my uncles worked in the same office as me, sometimes he smelled horrendously of BO, he was very entitled and rude, so I would turn into him and lock the office door and tell him he could come in when he'd showered put on clean clothes and deodorant. It did the trick

"Every child in the UK has a school nurse allocated to them, tis the law."

@Pieceofpurplesky.. that might be the case but you'd be bloody lucky to get your child to see them. I tried to get appointments a few times, they were either too busy or not at that school for weeks.

Sorry but I think you are being a bit unreasonable. There could be mental health issues with the person, or medication or a medical issue that makes them sweat more or smell bad. Maybe they are having a bad day.

Sometimes a person who has been abused, may have an uncomfortable relationship with their own body and could find it difficult to wash. They could also unconsciously use it to keep people away, protecting themself with a barrier.

That said, I have found it very difficult personally when I have had to work with clients like this as I have a sensitive nose. I also have had to have some conversations about this with them and it is never easy.

A few men at work tend to smell... I don't particularly mind. Makes me feel less intimidated by their work expertise. Besides, there are so many other horrible smells in world, like petrol & diesel fumes, random perfumes, Nappy sacks (godawful) and strong disinfectants. Where I'm on hol at moment (Adriatic) the petrol fumes sting my eyes when I walk down the road. But no MNer ever complains about those odours b/c.... no moral outrage in it, maybe??

I'm not immune to being whiffy myself if I misjudge deodorant. Nobody gets to be perfect.

@TabbyMumz it wasn't me that said every pupil had a nurse allocated - I was saying that they used to be more readily available @mcdog I am a secondary school teacher in a school of a thousand pupils - the school nurse attends one lunchtime a week and an alternate morning (two hours). It is not enough.

I was the smelly girl at school. I suffered with depression and just couldn't find it in myself to wash. I knew I smelled to some degree as the kids at school were obvious about it but none of my friends or family said anything for some time. I only managed to change when a family member did speak to me about it.

Yes, I agree I shouldn't have made others suffer, but I was suffering mentally and just couldn't see a way out of the spiral I was in.

I'm saddened to read people on here say that there's no excuse, if you can afford a KFC you can afford to wash etc. But at that time in my life I really couldn't look after myself very well. Have some compassion.