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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For being too scared to run in the park?

74 replies

Informat · 11/08/2019 20:14

I'm doing the couch to 5k and really enjoying it. I've just got my tracksuit on ready to go, and opened the door and the rain is absolutely pouring down. That's not a problem, I don't mind a bit of rain. I run in the big beautiful park close to my house, partly because it's so beautiful it makes runs more enjoyable, and partly because I don't want to run on the streets and be seen struggling by people, I like to hide in the park.

It's a big park, and it's been bust with the lovely weather we've been having, and just as I left it occurred to me that it would be completely empty because of the rain, and if anyone dodgy was in there there would be no one else around. I scared myself and I didn't go, and now I'm annoyed with myself.

AIBU to worry about something happening or should I have got a grip and just gone?

OP posts:
Pooshy · 11/08/2019 20:16

If you don't feel safe, don't go! Trust your instincts

You wouldn't enjoy it anyway if you're concerned, just stick to the streets

berlinbabylon · 11/08/2019 20:21

You answered your own question - completely empty because of the rain - ie no dodgy people either.

I am more scared of being attacked by a dog when I am out running than I am by a man.

steff13 · 11/08/2019 20:23

Pepper spray?

HillRunner · 11/08/2019 20:23

I regularly run in places where I'm alone, because I feel strongly that I shouldn't be contained in where I'm able to run, or have to adjust what I do in a way that men don't. It's daylight, so you should be and feel safe there.

Do you have anything you can do to feel safer? Carry an alarm, or have a phone to hand?

HillRunner · 11/08/2019 20:24

Constrained that should say

cubed123 · 11/08/2019 20:29

Trust your instincts, if you don’t want to do it then don’t.

Original poster
Informat · 11/08/2019 20:30

You answered your own question - completely empty because of the rain - ie no dodgy people either.

My thoughts were that anyone with malicious intent would realise that park runners would be quite isolated.

I regularly run in places where I'm alone, because I feel strongly that I shouldn't be contained in where I'm able to run, or have to adjust what I do in a way that men don't. It's daylight, so you should be and feel safe there.

I agree, we absolutely should be able to go anywhere at any time and feel safe, but at the same time, that's no protection if something does happen.

Do you have anything you can do to feel safer? Carry an alarm, or have a phone to hand?

There would be no one about to hear an alarm, and I always have my phone in my hand but there'd be no time to use it if anything did happen. I think I'll just have to stick to when the park has other people in it, but it's so frustrating.

OP posts:
FlatheadScrewdriver · 11/08/2019 20:30

Tell someone where you're going and when you anticipate being back (and don't forget to let them know once you ARE back!), take your phone with you, and choose places you feel safe. But don't let it stop you going.

TBH at the beginning of C25k I realised I needed to tell someone where I'd gone in case I had a coronary and wasn't found til the Spring!

thenightsky · 11/08/2019 20:31

Find a running mate.

Craftycorvid · 11/08/2019 20:32

Park run? That way there are others around. Changing the time of day you run? For some reason I always feel that little bit more exposed when running than when walking in the same space - no explanation for this!

Original poster
Informat · 11/08/2019 20:36

Find a running mate. That's a good idea, as long as they're happy for me to listen to my music and largely ignore them.

Park run? That way there are others around. Changing the time of day you run?

I can't actually run very far yet, I'm near the beginning of the couch to 5k. I do normally go after work when it's lighter and busier, so it's usually fine, but I'm so annoyed that on this occasion I stopped because of something that a man wouldn't even have to consider.

OP posts:
Original poster
Informat · 11/08/2019 20:48

Pepper spray is a good idea!

OP posts:
S1naidSucks · 11/08/2019 20:52

TBH at the beginning of C25k I realised I needed to tell someone where I'd gone in case I had a coronary and wasn't found til the Spring!

I laughed at that, because that would be my main concern too.

AskMeHow · 11/08/2019 20:53

I totally understand how you feel. It is daunting and it's not something men have to think about. But I reckon there would be more people than you think in the park - people with dogs have to go out rain or shine regardless.

I think next time if you're worried, just tell yourself that you'll go to the park and if there's no one around or you feel uncomfortable then you can come home again. But I bet when you get there it'll be ok.

Good luck.

beela · 11/08/2019 20:56

I live in a village and there are some lovely routes across the fields near me. I like to go running first thing (6-7am) but I've got it into my head that I'll discover a dead body, or a fugitive, or something, if I run that way very early, so I end up running along the roads. Ridiculous really.

AuntieStella · 11/08/2019 20:57

I had an interesting conversation with a young man at my running club, a couple of years ago - in October when the scary clowns were all over the news. He said how he suddenly felt nervous when running after dark somewhere he usually ran without qualms, just because someone might jump out and prank him. His face looked like a stopped clock when I said female runners have to think like that all the time

I feel more confident in the rain - fewer people around, but the ones who are are all moving purposefully and behaving normally. No weirdos just hanging around.

Also, I can remember very clearly the first time I was running seriously enough to go our when raining quite hard. The young fit men, who I had previously found quite intimidating and who I assumed could see I was an imposter, started nodding a greeting. I was a real runner!!

Kittypillar · 11/08/2019 20:57

TBH at the beginning of C25k I realised I needed to tell someone where I'd gone in case I had a coronary and wasn't found til the Spring!

Sorry but this really tickled me Grin

OP I sometimes get nervous if I go out running on my own, mostly if it's getting dark. So annoying (and sad) that we even have to question it really! Definitely get a running buddy or join a running club - the latter was the best thing that I've done for a while! Smile

Kittypillar · 11/08/2019 20:58

I had an interesting conversation with a young man at my running club, a couple of years ago - in October when the scary clowns were all over the news. He said how he suddenly felt nervous when running after dark somewhere he usually ran without qualms, just because someone might jump out and prank him. His face looked like a stopped clock when I said female runners have to think like that all the time.

^ this!

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 11/08/2019 21:00

YABU.

AuntieStella · 11/08/2019 21:00

"but I've got it into my head that I'll discover a dead body"

Oh, thank goodness that's not just me!

I'm just back from PILs, and DH doesn't really understand why I insist on him running with me there (usually don't want to, as he's slower than me Wink ) but it's really because it's rather more isolated there, and I wouldn't want to discover a corpse alone

SillyMoomin · 11/08/2019 21:01

Pepper spray is illegal in the UK for anyone that advised it!!

OP, I feel the same. I hate the fact I feel I have to adjust my routine because I feel unsafe, but, I also think gut instinct plays a good part in life, and I wouldn’t necessarily put myself in a situation where (sadly) it could increase the likelihood of “something bad happening”

So sadly, that means autumn / winter, I run on the streets, rather than the park. I feel your frustration though

MereDintofPandiculation · 11/08/2019 21:04

There would be no one about to hear an alarm, and I always have my phone in my hand but there'd be no time to use it if anything did happen. have a look at the phones aimed at the elderly. You need one with an alarm button and a location tracker. If anything concerning happens, you press the button, it rings a pre-programmed set of numbers over and over till someone answers, and the location tracker will tell them where you are.

Croquembou · 11/08/2019 21:05

Just to note that pepper spray is considered an offensive weapon in the UK and, as such, is not legal to buy or own.

I have to say, the only time I get paranoid is if I read the news too much. I suspect, really, we're much, much safer than we think.

tabulahrasa · 11/08/2019 21:06

People are out in the rain, other runners, dog walkers... what you don’t get is people just loitering...

So safer IMO...

Legomadx2 · 11/08/2019 21:09

I run all the time and along deserted towpaths early in the morning before anyone is up.

Everything in life has a risk but I go by my instincts. If your park feels dodgy to you maybe it is. Where I go in London doesn't feel dodgy so I go.

If you're worried why don't you run in the streets instead?