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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

For being too scared to run in the park?

74 replies

Informat · 11/08/2019 20:14

I'm doing the couch to 5k and really enjoying it. I've just got my tracksuit on ready to go, and opened the door and the rain is absolutely pouring down. That's not a problem, I don't mind a bit of rain. I run in the big beautiful park close to my house, partly because it's so beautiful it makes runs more enjoyable, and partly because I don't want to run on the streets and be seen struggling by people, I like to hide in the park.

It's a big park, and it's been bust with the lovely weather we've been having, and just as I left it occurred to me that it would be completely empty because of the rain, and if anyone dodgy was in there there would be no one else around. I scared myself and I didn't go, and now I'm annoyed with myself.

AIBU to worry about something happening or should I have got a grip and just gone?

OP posts:

TroubleTremble · 11/08/2019 21:10

I would never run if it wasn't daylight, but apart from that I don't have any issues/restrictions.

I think there's a balance between genuine concern for your safety, and finding an excuse not to go running guilty

And don't hold yourself back! No one will take any notice of you running, so don't avoid the streets if you feel safer running them.

And do Parkrun!! It changed my life. Even if you need to walk it, you'll have such a great time.

username678889 · 11/08/2019 21:10

In my experience people still in the park other runners / dog walkers . Just be aware of any danger don't use headphones if your not comfortable. The way I think I'd if anyone tried anything I'd run like the clappers and I have my phone .

HillRunner · 11/08/2019 21:11

Honestly, the imagined danger is far greater than the reality. I regularly run on the moors with no phone, no alarm, nothing. It's fine.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 11/08/2019 21:14

Look into strava premium with beacon function. Is used it when
My mum stressed out I went running fairly long distance on my own when my husband was away on deployment. It sends data to nominated phone of your gps location every minute or so.

Griefmonster · 11/08/2019 21:21

I was just going to advise an app with tracking - I use run keeper premium. I can send a tracking text to a "friend" (my husband at home) and he can track me on my run.

But please don't let fear put you off. Stick to well lit, busier pavements if that makes you feel safer but don't not run! Honestly no-one is judging. Just be happy in your own progress. The only way these programmes work to make you a regular runner is if you stay consitent and go at your own pace.

I did C25K 2 years ago and am now a very regular runner. Not fast! But regular. Go on! Get out there! You'll feel amazing when you get back (went out for a big rainy run earlier and a nice warm shower when I got back)

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 11/08/2019 21:22

Honestly, the imagined danger is far greater than the reality. I regularly run on the moors with no phone, no alarm, nothing. It's fine.

I think this is right, and for those saying your instinct is right, I seem to remember that the evidence suggests the opposite.

Dippypippy1980 · 11/08/2019 21:23

Do you have any running clubs locally who do couch to 5k. I did it in a group - and listened to music on longer runs. Was great fun and very motivating, always felt safe in a big group and they introduced me to places I could run in the area.

And you can do park run regardless of fitness level, walk and bit and run and bit

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 11/08/2019 21:24

(Although not sure what use the tracking apps are. By the time someone has noticed that you have been static for some time and comes to look for you the attack will have taken place.)

Iggly · 11/08/2019 21:29

Yep I’m the same OP, I understand.

In my case, I’ve been walking my baby in a pushchair and come across a man deliberately masturbating for me to see. Another time I saw him loitering by an underpass and it felt like he was waiting for me to go down. (Yes I notified the police).

I’ve been jumped on on a bus, I’ve been harassed by men when walking down the street.

So running alone in a park gives me the shits. I hate being constrained by my fear but it’s grounded in reality for me!

Even though I’ve never had an issue when running.

What I have done is join a running club - it pushes me more and I get to run with a great group of people.

Soontobe60 · 11/08/2019 21:29

I'm on week 3 of C25k and run on the road because I'm on my own. I live on the doorstep of a nature reserve but at the moment it's very muddy, slippy and a bit wild, so I'd rather be in the road (pavement). I don't care if anyone thinks shitty things about me. Im in my late 50s, overweight and determined to get fitter than I already am!
I pass an elderly man who walks his dog on my run, he's so encouraging 🤣

QualCheckBot · 11/08/2019 21:34

tbh OP I've had almost no hassle when out running in all manner of places, but I've had all sorts of hassle when swimming in public swimming pools, either in the communal changing areas or in the lane itself.

I also prefer to be less visible when running, because I cannot see the point in lighting myself up like a Christmas tree. If someone were to chase me, I'd want to be able to hide easily. Its never happened.

Perhaps you could study googlemaps or drive round your local area and find an area where you find safer running in. Can you run on pavements round the outside of the park? Are there any athletics tracks near you where you could run round the outside, or the grass on the inside? You might feel more confident if you can familiarise yourself with a route, identify potential hazards, etc..

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 11/08/2019 21:37

I think yes be aware of your surroundings, but I would never let anything put me off my run, as for not running in the dark, well if you work all day you don’t have a choice, no way would I give up my run just because it’s dark at 5pm.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 11/08/2019 21:43

It's not ridiculous to be worried. Last night a woman was raped in a park near me walking late at night.

Men don't have to worry about this at all and my DP still doesn't understand why sometimes I feel unsafe.
Is there anyone you can go running with?

Ronnie27 · 11/08/2019 21:45

Do you have Strava? You can pay monthly for premium and it has a beacon for someone to be able to track you in live time through gps. I send mine to dh and my mum on dark winter nights, to be fair they probably don’t even watch it but it makes me feel better!

thenightsky · 11/08/2019 21:46

I live in a village and there are some lovely routes across the fields near me. I like to go running first thing (6-7am) but I've got it into my head that I'll discover a dead body, or a fugitive, or something, if I run that way very early, so I end up running along the roads. Ridiculous really.

Not that ridiculous. I live rurally too and one early Sunday morning run I came across hare coursers. I nearly shit myself. So glad I had my phone. I was hiding in a ditch protected by a hedge and thanking god I had the local game keeper's number stored.

DidntAskToBe · 11/08/2019 21:48

I run all over the place alone and it's not the fear of being attacked that worries me, it's that I'll trip over on the side of a field and get ploughed in!

I don't think I could run if I needed to keep my finger on an alarm the whole time, I'd have to find a different sport or always have a running partner. It would spoil it for me completely. It's the feeling of being alone and free and just able to lose myself (not literally!) which I love, as well as the actual running bit.

Meltedicicle · 11/08/2019 21:51

Well done on your running! I run at our local park too but because I also don’t like people seeing me, I go early when it’s really quiet. I have to say, I don’t get stressed about ‘dodgy’ people. I’m not sure why as I’m a worrier about lots of things generally but for some reason not that. I also walk home from the bus stop/pub in the early hours too. But I suppose if you’re not comfortable with it then you’re not going to enjoy your run so you probably did the right thing.

munemema · 11/08/2019 21:54

Find a running group - lots of clubs do a couch to 5 k or a walk run group.

I love running in the woods on my own. It brings a peace you don't get any other way, although maybe not if you're scared so people should do what suits them.

FWIW I'm sure I've read that crime (apart from domestic violence) goes down in the rain, criminals don't like the rain any more than other people do.

Original poster

Informat · 11/08/2019 21:55

If you're worried why don't you run in the streets instead?

It's partly because I don't want people to see me struggling and partly because men always shout stuff from car windows when I walk anywhere and for some reason I assumed it would be worse if I was running.

I last did c25k two years ago and finished it but then when the autumn & winter came and it was too dark for the park after work I stopped. This year I'll keep going and run on the streets.

OP posts:

Greyhound22 · 11/08/2019 22:00

It's ok you won't find a dead body. That's the reserve of us dog walkers. It's always 'found by a man walking his dog early Sunday morning'

OP I think it's perfectly reasonable not to have gone if you felt a bit nervous.

Original poster

Informat · 11/08/2019 22:03

I also walk home from the bus stop/pub in the early hours too.

Funnily enough I do this all of the time and it doesn't bother me at all. My mother hates it because I'll put my headphones in and walk home alone from the pub alone in the middle of the night and it doesn't bother me at all. I don't know why the park at dusk did just because of the rain.

OP posts:

Maneandfeathers · 11/08/2019 22:07

I love running when it’s raining or quiet but have two massive dogs.

I don’t think I would dare without them which is a shame. I’ve watched too many serial killer documentaries

thenightsky · 11/08/2019 22:16

Please think twice about wearing headphones when alone and in a remote place.

My sister did this and her attacker was able to get so close as to be able to slam a bag over her head before she even knew anyone was nearby.

RedSkyLastNight · 11/08/2019 22:25

I always reason that the chances of someone malicious lurking in a deserted park in the rain, on the off chance they could attack a lone woman running past are ... pretty slim!

AuntieStella · 11/08/2019 22:31

Reallynsorry to hear about your DSis

But "Please think twice about wearing headphones when alone and in a remote place" needs to be expanded on. I have bone conducting headphones, which mean I can hear what is happening around me, bought specifically for safety and also because they are race-approved by England Athletics.

Yes, it is a risk if you cannot hear traffic, marshalls (if racing) or just what is happening around you. But you can still hear all that if you go for bone-conductors, or just wear a single AirPod or similar

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