For being too scared to run in the park?

[Informat]

I'm doing the couch to 5k and really enjoying it. I've just got my tracksuit on ready to go, and opened the door and the rain is absolutely pouring down. That's not a problem, I don't mind a bit of rain. I run in the big beautiful park close to my house, partly because it's so beautiful it makes runs more enjoyable, and partly because I don't want to run on the streets and be seen struggling by people, I like to hide in the park.

It's a big park, and it's been bust with the lovely weather we've been having, and just as I left it occurred to me that it would be completely empty because of the rain, and if anyone dodgy was in there there would be no one else around. I scared myself and I didn't go, and now I'm annoyed with myself.

AIBU to worry about something happening or should I have got a grip and just gone?

That's terrible, thenightsky. Your poor sister.

I always reason that the chances of someone malicious lurking in a deserted park in the rain, on the off chance they could attack a lone woman running past are ... pretty slim!

Is it that low though? If 20% of women have experienced rape or sexual assault, and of those 10% didn't know their attacker previously, that's 2% of all women who've been attacked by a stranger, which is a 1 in 50 chance for any of us, and that's just of the cases which are reported. High, but not the very rare, once in a blue moon situation it's often portrayed as. There have been a few in the paper about attacks in the nearest city to me just since June.

Case1

Case2

Case3

Case4 (With apologies that is is from the Sun)

Stats taken from rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/about-sexual-violence/statistics-sexual-violence/

I have bone conducting headphones, which mean I can hear what is happening around me

My sister's attacker was able to creep up on her quietly. Once that bag was over her head and he was telling her he had a gun, it was too late.

Please, please don't take risks. A track of music is sooo not worth the trauma. Honestly. This has affected our whole family.

I would never go anywhere near a park at night or if there are no people about. If I was someone who wanted to get a woman alone and where I would not be disturbed, I would hang out in a park.

There have been cases in the UK, not just the ones which informat linked to, where women have been very horrifically assaulted and even murdered/mutilated for cutting through a park/graveyard by someone who targetted them for being in the area. A friend of a friend of mine was raped and strangled to death with her bra - I was a teenager then and that has stuck with me. She was jogging on her own in a forested area.

I personally would not take the risk. Stick to where there are a lot of people.

A park has lots of hiding places and privacy for an attacker.

Trackers, phones are useless. Only for finding your dead body I guess.

I don't run in isolated areas either. I'm happier running next to the road if thats the only busy place.
Me and DS ran through a wood for a few minutes today. It was frankly horrible and I picked up a massive rock and stick in case someone jumped out.

You don't have to run parkrun. You can walk the whole way. Or walk / jog.

Look up this thing called Run Angel. It is a safety device for runners. My friend has one she says it makes her feel really safe as you can be tracked by family etc.

www.runangel.com

As others have said though, a tracker is only good for finding a body/a traumatised you. It doesn't do anything to stop you being attacked.

Sorry i should have said this one has a really loud alarm on it also

Carry deodorant and spray them in the eyes

Or trust your instinct and don't go. Run on the street instead.

What is the point of an alarm if there is no one about?

And even if there was someone about, what are the chances they will actually come to your aid. Remember that you are more likely to get a reaction by shouting 'fire' than by shouting 'rape'.

I live one street from an absolutely massive park which includes wooded areas as well as open spaces and I went running in absolutely awful weather today (I'm doing Couch to 5K too!)

It was a lot quieter than it would be on a warm sunny day but honestly, there were still quite a few other runners and dog walkers around - it was quiet, but far from empty. So I think there would certainly still be a few people around to help you feel safe.

FWIW, I'm overweight and used to be painfully self-conscious about people seeing me run, but I'm gradually getting over that. I had to run on the street a few weeks ago when the park was closed to the public for two days because of a big event, and although I was incredibly anxious about people witnessing me huffing along like a sweaty hippo, nobody seemed to give a shit. So if you really do feel too nervous to run in the park when it's super quiet, that could be the time to face your fears and run on the pavements. Once you've done it, it gets easier.

Do an organised park run,they are Saturday morning at 0900 and are amazing and inspirational.

What is the point of an alarm if there is no one about?

Assuming you mean the proper ones which are a pressurised air container, the noise they make is absolutely unbearable and is to freak out/distract/deter the attacker, not to attract the attention of others. I got issued with one at work once (long story) and when we were shown how to the use them we were warned not to mess around with them as they can burst someone's ear drum if it's close to their face.

YABVVR. Why put yourself at risk? It’s common sense not to put yourself in vulnerable situations. Why would you put yourself at risk to prove a point?

dollydaydream114

The beauty of Parkrun is that nobody cares what you look like or how fit/unfit you are. It's not an elite event and although you will get some freakishly quick runners leading the field you will get all sorts of shapes, sizes and ages making up the bulk of the numbers. The whole ethos is inclusivity and generally there is very positive vibe that underpins the event. It's also very social and you will soon make friends or find a training partner.

Weird, I wouldn't give it a seconds thought. The chances are SO tiny, it's more dangerous to get in your car.

I had an interesting conversation with a young man at my running club, a couple of years ago - in October when the scary clowns were all over the news. He said how he suddenly felt nervous when running after dark somewhere he usually ran without qualms, just because someone might jump out and prank him. His face looked like a stopped clock when I said female runners have to think like that all the time

Yes, we will know that we have true equality when female runners can go out in the same way that male runners can.

One thing I would absolutely say is do not wear headphones. It's not sensible anyway as you can't hear traffic but you need to be aware of what's around you. And if you do a race they are not allowed at most races, so it's better not to get used to running with them. Even the bone conducting ones are not always permitted.

Personally I don't think rapists like bad weather either, so I think if it's pouring with rain you'll be ok.

And another vote for parkrun - safe environment to run for many reasons, one being that you don't have to put up with heckling from stupid van drivers. Not always 9am start though - it's 9.30 in Ireland and NI and in Scotland.

You're far, far more likely to be attacked by your partner or family member than by a random member of public when out on your run. The news and many in society love to peddle the patronising narrative that is unsafe to go out alone as a woman and we should all be full of fear of the big nasty man lurking in the shadows just waiting to rape and murder us. It is a load of bollocks, go outside and enjoy your life.

www.murdermap.co.uk/statistics/list-of-homicide-victims-in-london-in-2019/ - Have a read through of the murders that have happened in London this year, very few women were murdered at random with most of the being murdered in their own home.

And yet there have been at least four cases of women being attacked by a male stranger in and around Newcastle just since June, Oulidae. I know many, many more women are hurt or attacked by someone they know, but the stats I linked to earlier said that 20% of women suffer some form of sexual assault in their lives, and 10% of them are by strangers. That's 2% of all women, and a 1 in 50 chance for any of us.

I've been attacked by a stranger outside the home (the perpetrator is now in prison).

But If we live in fear of going out, we hugely limit our own lives and our own freedom to pursue happiness. Thats what bastards like that want.... to control, to make us feel afraid and unable to access public spaces. The fact that some women are attacked doesn't change the fact that the risk is low, and that there is also a negative impact from restricting what we do. The drip, drip, drip of background fear and curtailing what we do may be less noticeable than an immediate trauma, but it's pretty crap to live with.

What is the point of an alarm if there is no one about?

Assuming you mean the proper ones which are a pressurised air container, the noise they make is absolutely unbearable and is to freak out/distract/deter the attacker, not to attract the attention of others. I got issued with one at work once (long story) and when we were shown how to the use them we were warned not to mess around with them as they can burst someone's ear drum if it's close to their face.

I have a rape alarm, 2 in fact. It is loud (waves of sound no doubt) but not ear drum bursting. It is easy to set off accidentally in your handbag and too difficult to dig in your bag for when you actually need it. Then when you set it off, laughably easy to knock out of your hand. True deterrent it is not.