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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What age for ears pierced?

223 replies

Gottastopspendingmoney · 10/08/2019 19:18

Almost 8 year old is asking more and more to get her ears pierced.

I am not going to let her yet. I say she can get them done when she is 18.

But just wondering what age parents have allowed them to get done.

I am thinking 10 / 11 at the very youngest but I will happily push it longer than that.

She did tell me the other day that it would have been easier if I had got them done as a baby

OP posts:

Rockbird · 13/08/2019 15:33

DD1 asked at about 5 but it was a firm no. Now she's going to secondary next month I said she could have them done. I have lots of piercings in my ears and, while I don't like them on small children, I think rising 12 is a decent age for them. But a small part of my reason for letting her was that she wore the clip on earrings from Claire's and they looked so hideous that I thought tiny studs couldn't possibly look as bad!

NavyBlueHue · 13/08/2019 16:41

M3lon seriously, yes of course some people want it. It’s just ear piercing, not some dystopian future filled with oppression . Kids like shiny earrings. No mystery why there.

NavyBlueHue · 13/08/2019 16:44

M3lon

navy so your hypothesis is that people actually want to punch a hole in their ears, and that this is something they would want to do even if they weren't being constantly told it was an important part of looking good and that nothing is more important than looking good, and everyone else has done it so it must be good?

Lol no where the hell did you get that from me saying peer pressure is not the same as genuinely wanting it. Bit of a HUGE leap lol but if it furthers your righteous cause then carry on. But FYI I never said that.

M3lon · 13/08/2019 16:59

navy so you think kids just like shiny ears....but nobody wants to have earrings outside of peer pressure?

Make up your mind!

Either the desire for ear piercing is primarily peer/beauty ideal/advertising driven, or its primarily a desire people spontaneously have.

I mean its obvious as all fuck that its peer/appearance pressure driven, but somehow you still seem to be (sometimes) clinging to the idea that kids might spontaneously decide how they look is important and that earrings are the answer to this....

M3lon · 13/08/2019 17:01

and of course there is no way in hell I would ever let my DD punch a hole in her ear for a desire that is primarily peer pressure driven.

M3lon · 13/08/2019 17:06

cassian I have theories on that but people won't like them.

I don't wear make up, I haven't worn earrings since my pierced ears landed me in hospital, and I recently cut 20 inches off my hair with my kitchen scissors because it was starting to annoy me.

I think it must be pretty clear to my DD exactly how much I give a shit about how I look and exactly how much of my self-esteem is tied up in my appearance (sweet FA).

Among my DD's best buddies, there is one mother who plasters on the make up and wears dangly earrings and whose daughter has been 'into fashion' and begging for everything short of a boob job for years. There is another mother who wears a bit of mascara and studs, who has one DD with pierced ears and the others not bothered.

We will always be our DD's primary role models.

Superstar101 · 13/08/2019 17:10

My daughter was 2. I don’t see a problem with it.

MamitaSi · 13/08/2019 17:10

Oh wow! I have no idea. I am hispanic and we pierce our daughters right after they are born.
I know it doesn't make sense now but I thought it was the norm everywhere.

Deadringer · 13/08/2019 17:12

@ elective medical procedures and we will always be our dds primary role models
Yeah right.

Whoops75 · 13/08/2019 17:14

Dd had hers done at 8
She wants a second piercing now at 10 but I told her she had to wait until she was 13.

I had mine done at 35

JacquesHammer · 13/08/2019 17:16

DD was 10, fully able to decide herself and did all aftercare.

She was the first in her class. One of the other mum’s told me I was irresponsible as now her daughter wanted them. Oh how I laughed and told her maybe, if this was an issue for her she could use the word “no”.

But then I was onto my second set of holes by 11 so this was never going to be a big deal for us, my only caveat was that it was done with a needle.

formerbabe · 13/08/2019 17:21

there is one mother who plasters on the make up and wears dangly earrings

There is another mother who wears a bit of mascara and studs

For someone who cares so little for looks, you certainly seem pre occupied with other peoples appearances.

I wear make up and earrings...I couldn't care less if others do or don't...

Interestingly I find those women who aren't into make up and fashion are much more judgemental than women who are.

Bwekfusth · 13/08/2019 17:27

If she's asking, she's old enough to know what it entails. I'd say 8 was a suitable age.

WarmthAndDepth · 13/08/2019 17:34

When old enough to save up own pocket money and care for piercing independently.

M3lon · 13/08/2019 17:41

former yes, you are right. The fact I can recall the average appearance of people I spend significant time with while our kids do activities definitely indicates I'm obsessed with appearance!

Its all been some sort of elaborate double bluff!

TooManyPaws · 13/08/2019 17:43

I was 11 and my father agreed with me; my mother later had hers done in her early fifties as it as easier than clip-on. Dad loved it as we forever got earrings from the village jeweller for birthdays and Christmas. 😁

Once I was no longer subject to uniform regulations, I got my nose and helix pierced by a proper piercer - much less hassle and infection than a gun. The amount of hygiene precautions was amazing.

Oh, and plenty of men I know have piercings, including their ears.

M3lon · 13/08/2019 17:45

unless its actually unusual to be able to remember roughly what sort of things people wear and whether they wear a lot of makeup?

I mean I actually can do that for the majority of people I work with too. I can picture them in their standard get up.

I always imagined that it was this (apparently obsession driven) ability that caused people to say such things as "Oh, you are looking very smart today!"....you know like they have remembered what someone usually wears and then noticed that they are wearing something different now?

formerbabe · 13/08/2019 17:46

@M3lon

Of course, you notice it but you sound really sneering about it

M3lon · 13/08/2019 17:49

its the word 'plastered' isn't it....

some people wear make up...I honestly get that...but others genuinely plaster it on. This person happens to be in that category.

M3lon · 13/08/2019 17:53

they stand out because the overwhelming majority of people I know don't use make up at all...and almost all the rest have a touch of eyeliner and mascara...

The number of people I know using foundation in any meaningful quantity is very low.

NavyBlueHue · 13/08/2019 18:05

@M3lon you seem very het up about this. To the point that you are twisting mine and others words. Refer to what I say not what you think I imply. I’ll leave you with this campaign to save the earlobes of young children from the horrors of a tiny hole. Good luck in your endeavours as it clearly means an awful lot to you judging by your passion and determination to root out alternative meanings to the words of anyone that doesn’t agree with you. I’ll say again my opinion on this..... just so you understand and can’t twist what I say....... “It’s just ear piercing. It’s no big deal”.

womblessofwimbledon · 13/08/2019 18:10

Personal choice surely.
Their body and if you have taught them body autonomy then they should be able to make that choice themselves.
I don't have my ears pierced and neither dh or I were that bothered about it. The eldest dd started asking at 5( no idea why) we allowed it at the end of reception as she still wanted it, second dd had it at the end of reception too

SciFiScream · 13/08/2019 20:02

We're going to get my DDs ears pierced by a trusted and trained body piercer and they have an age limit of 14. So 14.

AuntieStella · 13/08/2019 22:59

"auntie what of the life time effects of giving into peer pressure though? What of the life time effects of yet further reinforcing the message that appearance if of such value to girls and women that its worth risking your life for?"

Have there really been deaths attributed to ear piercing?

And I agree more with the posters who point out that fashion is a social group thing, not peer pressure in the classic sense

'What of the effect on uptake of plastic surgery?"

Zero - they are unrelated

" What of the effect of lowering self esteem?"

I disagree that shared opinions on fashion, and such a mainstream one as earlobe piercing (HMQ has pierced ears, and you can't get more establishment that that) is going to be a critical factor in self esteem

Reductio ad absurdam?

neighbourssitu · 13/08/2019 23:20

I was 5 and my daughter was 8

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