To take a 5 month old on a girls' weekend to Paris

[Patapouf]

Has anyone done this and has tips to make it less stressful? I know the baby will get nothing out of it but I am not ready to leave him at home with DH for 2 nights just yet and I'm desperate to make the most of mat leave.

Travelling by Eurostar, probably stay in an Airbnb. Planning a bit of sightseeing but mainly mooching about, sitting in cafés and stocking up on skincare and food or maybe not having seen the value of the pound

Friends will be hands on and help as much as they can but I'm very anxious that it will be disastrous. Baby is BF (not going well), but mostly EBM so worrying about the logistics of expressing or BF out and about. I also can't imagine trying to manoeuvre a pram on the narrow pavements. I know babies live in Paris, I did too once, but I'm a worrier.

Can I make this work? How can I pack light?

I suppose my AIBU should really be how can I be less nervous about travelling with a baby?

And how bizarre to assume that if we’re not taking our kids on a girls’ weekend than we must be sitting at home with PND (pretty offensive comment to make anyway towards those with PND)

I enjoyed getting out and about all over the place with my babies, but no way would I have taken them on a girls’ night out or weekend away. I was also perfectly happy leaving my (EBF) babies with their dad when I did want to do something like that

I can’t imagine anything worse than going on a trip when I’m childfree with a friend with a baby or toddler

That's your choice, my point is I'm surprised so many can't even imagine others don't feel like that - that it's possible for people to value time spent with their friends. It's reflective of how little society values motherhood IMO.

I'm not going to respond any more though as I know what AIBU is like. My previous post is like fresh meat to the AIBU sharks who will be circling, delighted they have someone to take strips off, it's started already, and is a distraction from the OP's thread.

I hope the OP has a lovely time with her friends, wish I had a short break planned soon!

Yes it’s probably time for you to stop, seeing as you’re unable to get your head round the fact that other posters have lovely friends too, enjoy spending time with them but wouldn’t bring their kid on a girls’ weekend away.

My advice would be do not go. I really think its madness. Your life has changed now you have a child. Either don't go or leave the child with your very capable husband.
Your friends may appear to be ok with it but i am sure that they are actually not.
You will not enjoy it, the baby will not enjoy it and your friends will not enjoy it

OP I think if your friends are happy for you to bring the baby then why not. The older they get the less portable they are.

(Haven’t read full thread so apologies if some of these are repeated but my suggestions would be)

Make sure where you stay:
Has a microwave for sterilisation
Has a fridge
Has a lift or is ground floor
If you are staying with your other friends ideally has another room between you and the baby.

Ideally bring a travel pram or pushchair depending on his age.
Baby carrier or sling is great to keep your hands free
Bring more clothes than you imagine in case of accident!
Take an extra bottle just in case.

Have a great time

My children travel alot and have since they were tiny. First 24hr long haul flight when they were 6 months old. I have been (without children) to Paris several times for long weekends and several times for long stays from 2 weeks to 1 month. Sorry but I would not take such a small child on a sightseeing tour of Paris - will be a nightmare for all concerned in my opinion. You are upsetting their routine and you will get a crying upset baby. Paris sighting is full of crowds and queues which can be tiring for adults lets alone babies. I'm not sure how pram friendly it will be if you do go take a baby backpack or something similar. You really need to ask your friends what they want to do ie are they planning on going to a show, what sites do they want to see? People go to France for relaxing trips but in my opinion people who go to Paris want to experience the full Paris culture like shopping, or cafes, or sight seeing. Even the cafe tables in Paris tend to be small and very close together.

I value my friends and hope I’m supportive. But my trips away are precious and rare. Plus I am not a tee total saintly type and know I would feel frustrated in this scenario which isn’t fair on the person with the baby.

It will be disastrous m and totally unfair on your friends.

I'm intrigued! @Cluelessbeetroot

Too much scope for stuff to go wrong and for it to turn into a total stress-fest IMO. Plus you're really not going to make the most of a weekend in Paris going at that time of year and with a baby. Just give it a rain check until April / May next year.

I’m loving the OP’s bitchy updates. I’d missed the learn how to spell. Lolol

Another thought: what's the UK vaccination schedule like? Will he have had any jabs recently?

I’m well travelled and have one pfb who’s now 6 and I take her everywhere with me still. I wouldn’t have left dd at 5 months either.

Travellings not the problem here. It’s more are you 100% you’re friends are up for this. I went on holiday with my dsis and mum and we ended up leaving her a lot because we wanted to see things that baby couldn’t go to. We tried our hardest to stay with her but didn’t want to miss out on everything. That said Paris is pretty easy. I would definitely bring a sling as Paris isn’t so buggy friendly. I took my dd when she just turned four year old around Paris on my own and no way a buggy would have taken me half the places I ended up. I found the Parisiennes pretty friendly towards me on my own though.

I think of you go be prepared to be relaxed about your friends maybe saying oh we’re going to this alone is that ok.

@Queenbean I'm not sure how you decided no one here likes their friends based on the fact we might be annoyed someone brings their baby to a girlie weekend.

I'd be equally annoyed if my friends but their husband on a girlie weekend for example, doesn't mean I don't like me my friend or my friends husband it just means the trip will have a totally different dynamic.

at revel in the fact she appears to have some literacy difficulties

My very good, settle anywhere newborn turned into a restless nightmare sleeper from 4 months so that basis I'd say no. He'd learnt to do multiple rolls by then so co-sleeping in an unfamiliar place would have been hard because I wouldn't have been able to sleep either way.

I'd skip this year and leave him with dad next year.

@GotToGoMyOwnWay i haven't had a chance to reply to every single post on the thread.

If you have read my posts you will know that I have also lived in Paris. I know the city very well and I'm aware that it isn't the most baby friendly. I have spent considerable time in the city with older babies but never a child who is not weaned and cannot walk.

WHERE have I said I'm determined to go, every poster that is berating me seems to think I'm adamant I will be going on this trip but every post indicates I'm undecided 🤷🏻‍♀️ it's so nice that so many of you are concerned about my friends having a nice time 😂

I've actually had a fair bit of very helpful advice from posters who haven't jumped on just to scold me. If I haven't thanked you all, please know I am grateful.

As an aside please don’t be rude about posters spellings- having a dc with severe dyslexia it’s heartbreaking to see them ridiculed for something completely out of their control

Calm down dear, who says that poster has dyslexia? You seem to be missing the point here. Presumably your children don't attack people online?

@matahairyy maybe because I'm perfectly pleasant to people who are nice 😘

@Gatoadigrado you appear to have posted several times and the content of each post is materially the same. Are you quite well?

patapouf you appear to have posted several times and the content of each post is materially the same. Are you quite well?

Fuck me, being a new mother is hard enough without this kind of shit from supposed friends. But I guess we're all meant to stay at home and get PND instead of bothering our friends as we might cramp their style?

I can't believe how poorly some PPs must treat their so-called friends.

don't suppose anyone this applies to will listen to me though, you're all so convinced you're right and know what other people think!

This with bells on, pretty much sums up AIBU.

@Gatoadigrado are you this horrible IRL? Who made you thread police and gave you permission to start attacking a poster for having a different point of view?

How nice that you were happy to leave your EBF child. I'm not, simple as that.

@BlamesFartsOnTheNeighbour free and clear of any jabs by the time of travel.

I do agree spring would be a nicer time to travel!

Patapouf - if you’d actually read my posts you’ll see I haven’t said the same thing. I suggested leaving your child with his father (because yes, some of us were able to cope with leaving ebf babies)

When it became clear that you won’t contemplate leaving the child with his father I suggested you go. Since you and your friends’ trips abroad involve going to bed at 9 pm it sounds like your dh may have more excitement at home

@Gatoadigrado gosh, you must really think you are very witty.