To take a 5 month old on a girls' weekend to Paris

[Patapouf]

Has anyone done this and has tips to make it less stressful? I know the baby will get nothing out of it but I am not ready to leave him at home with DH for 2 nights just yet and I'm desperate to make the most of mat leave.

Travelling by Eurostar, probably stay in an Airbnb. Planning a bit of sightseeing but mainly mooching about, sitting in cafés and stocking up on skincare and food or maybe not having seen the value of the pound

Friends will be hands on and help as much as they can but I'm very anxious that it will be disastrous. Baby is BF (not going well), but mostly EBM so worrying about the logistics of expressing or BF out and about. I also can't imagine trying to manoeuvre a pram on the narrow pavements. I know babies live in Paris, I did too once, but I'm a worrier.

Can I make this work? How can I pack light?

I suppose my AIBU should really be how can I be less nervous about travelling with a baby?

Patapouf it might be worth asking questions about your trip on the travel board. You're more likely to get useful responses there.

Sorry I haven't got time to read the whole thread so apologies if it's reached a conclusion but I've actually been to Paris with a 5 month old for a weekend. I used a sling so he could sleep whenever he wanted and sat up looking around when awake. I spent the whole time sightseeing and cafes etc with no issues at all. I think the fact your friends are tea total makes a big difference. Hope it goes well.

@Patapouf last year we travelled NZ - Italy with 3 month old DD and 3.5 DS and it was great. For a holiday even, not to visit family or anything l. UK- Paris on the Eurostar would be a doddle in comparison. I wouldn’t leave my 5 months old either & it’s no reflection on DH’s ability to care for her, I’d just hate being parted from her at that age.

DD was exclusively breastfed (not by choice 🙄 refused a bottle til 11 months) which made it easier.

Do get your own room in the Airbnb so you don’t wake the others during the night and get one that has baby kit like cots etc so you don’t have to cart it along with you.

I’d recommend a front pack to keep hands free - we took the ergo baby 360.

It’s the easiest age to travel - we’ve more recently done NZ - Asia and she was just on 1 and it’s was much harder.

You may need to pull the pin and go home early for naps etc and have early nights in with a glass of wine and a takeaway pizza instead of fancy wine bars & restaurants - you have 2 friends so they can always keep each other company while you head back to HQ.

I’ve already done my fair share of late night boozy travels in my 20s so. I didn’t mind a quieter approach. for us it was worth it to be able to wander round Rome & spend a week on the med!

As for all those people saying your friends are being polite 😑 I have a girls weekend away planned next weekend and one of my friends has an EBF 8 month old - we told her to bring him & absolutely meant it.

@mamansnet had good advice. She lives in Paris. Have you actually read her advice OP? You seem to me to have ignored her completely.

You clearly are determined to go ahead despite what most posters are saying. So read her advice. Come back & report once the trip is over. I wouldn’t do it but you clearly want to, so hope you ALL have good time.

As an aside please don’t be rude about posters spellings- having a dc with severe dyslexia it’s heartbreaking to see them ridiculed for something completely out of their control.

I took DD to Paris when she was 5 months. I didn't bring a buggy or
pram just a sling and a rucksack, which made everything easier and I had my hands free. Also it meant she just slept or looked around while we were out. No crying to be picked up. Small babies are fine in restaurants in the evenings. The only thing is that she slept badly so I was exhausted. It really depends on her sleeping whether it's bearable.

Wow people have been so presumptuous on this thread. Of course MN know your friends better than you OP, and your previously teetotal mates will definitely want to go out clubbing until 2am.

Paris with a non-mobile breastfed baby sound fine. I’d book an air bnb with a separate room for you and a travel cot. Take a collapsible buggy (you can usually borrow one from local fbook for a weekend where I live). I’d use a sling most of the time if your baby will sleep in it though.

I did a lot of travel with mine and easiest way to transport stuff on your own is baby in sling, bag in buggy then push the buggy. St Pancras (for Eurostar) has easy step free routes round it.

I wouldn’t have been able to take dd out in the eve at that age so you may have to stay in with some cheese and baguette - life could be worse!

Have fun

Good for you standing up for yourself. Sarky posters love to dish it out but can't take anything but politeness

I’ve been to Paris with babies. It’s fine obviously. It’s not fun. Or relaxing. Take a break fgs.

And Jesus your replies make me wonder why anyone wants to go anywhere with you

I took my baby (aged 1) on a girl's weekend. I couldn't leave her at home because my husband was too unwell to look after her (he was recovering from being in a coma/life support which left him with bad fatigue, muscle weakness and short term memory loss). We went to a hotel in the UK with a lovely pool. My friends genuinely had fun playing with her (their own kids had all grown up). There were times that I missed out as disappeared off when they stayed up late drinking in the bar. But tbh, I would rather have been curled up in bed early. As long as you don't hold your friends back or compromise their time too much, I really don't see what the issue is. Could you manage a sling? If not, not all of the pavements will be narrow. If you're struggling with BF'd and need to spend a lot of time pumping, then it's probably not the right time to go.

Just to put my view on it - I'm French and never had any issue bf in public in France. The metro is not pram friendly - take a baby carrier because Paris is not best enjoyed with a pram anyway. Baby changing - I never take baby changing facilities for granted so can change baby anywhere really.
Have a fab time! That age is a good age for travelling with baby in my experience.

Oh fgs just go OP. You clearly don’t feel able to leave the child with his dad and you aren’t listening to anyone who is pointing out that the difference between a 3 and 5 month old baby is huge, and that he may not be happy being carted around in a sling all day. Babies aren’t all the same, and whereas some would be ok, others would be agitating to be free and are moving fast towards being mobile.

But honestly it’s clear you posted on AIBU just hoping to get your view reinforced so just go. Tbh the most unreasonable thing is that you go on girlie trips away to vibrant cities like Paris and are in bed by 9 pm.

Hi OP, I have a baby in Paris. Pavements are a nightmare with a pram, you're right that they are often very narrow. Most people have Babyzen Yoyos or similar for this reason. If you've got a chunky pram just be aware that places like Montmartre will be tricky.

Metro stations aren't very accessible as you'll know if you've been before but I find people are surprisingly helpful with carrying prams up and down steps. I often take my baby to bars on restaurants but I'm lucky in that he's pretty chilled and usually sleeps in the pram. I've never felt unwelcome in places across Paris. In fact a burly bearded barman asked to cuddle DS yesterday!

Do you speak French? If not I would suggest learning a few baby related phrases just in case.

I haven't taken DS on the Eurostar yet but will do at some point and I'll be taking a sling so I can pack the pram away but walk up and down the train if I need to.

I wouldn't personally choose to take my baby on this kind of weekend but it sounds like your friends are on board so enjoy it!

I wouldn't no. Changes the dynamic and sounds a stressful situation for you.

I wouldn't. I do think it will be stressful

Have you made any decisions OP? I don't have any advice personally but think if you're super anxious about it you can always skip this one and go another year when you're more comfortable leaving your little one for a few days. Your friends sound fab though and if you do go I hope you have a wonderful time.

it’s clear you posted on AIBU just hoping to get your view reinforced

If you actually read the OP It's clear dhe' s asking for tips on how to make it work.

And plenty of experienced mums have pointed out that none of us (OP included) can possibly know how her child will be by November

wiggly let. It. Go. You’ve had your say, which is great but let other people have their say without you having to respond. It’s not your thread

If you're planning this trip for October / November what are you going to do if the weather is foul? It's hardly peak sitting at café terrace and people-watching season. I'd delay for a few months until you're comfortable leaving the baby and the weather is likely to be better.

I feel so sorry for all the women who can't even imagine that genuine friends could actually enjoy the presence of the baby of someone they love and care about. What kind of lives are you living?

And before you all say - but It's a girls weekend - that's exactly my point. Why can't you understand not ALL women put drinking and partying over spending time holidaying with a good friend and meeting their new baby?

Don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of drinking and partying! But I'd always put spending time with a close friend and being supportive to her as a new mum over a night out. I didn't think this was so unusual, but maybe it is?

I'm not saying everyone should be the same as me! But the fact so few posters recognise other people might actually like their friends, and want to spend time with them even if - shock horror - they have a baby in tow, is bizarre to me.

I feel luckier for the friends I have and worried about the low value our society appears to put on friendship and motherhood.

If either of my DC complained to me as an adult that a friend was ruining their weekend by coming with a baby they'd get short shrift from me on the value of friendship.

Fuck me, being a new mother is hard enough without this kind of shit from supposed friends. But I guess we're all meant to stay at home and get PND instead of bothering our friends as we might cramp their style?

I don't suppose anyone this applies to will listen to me though, you're all so convinced you're right and know what other people think!

But in my friendship circle new mothers would not be treated like this, I'm very grateful for it. I wish society in general was kinder to mothers, if it was there wouldn't be so many logistical issues in taking babies out in the first place.

Tbh I'd be pretty pissed off if one of my friends bought a baby on a girls' weekend away. I go on such weekends to have a break from my own Lille cherubs. I certainly wouldn't want someone else's in tow.

You sound quite sanctimonious wiggly.

Well I am your worst nightmare wiggly as I can’t imagine anything worse than going on a trip when I’m childfree with a friend with a baby or toddler. I just wouldn’t go. Judge away.

@SmiledWithTheRisingSun doesn’t she just!

Tbh I'd be pretty pissed off if one of my friends bought a baby on a girls' weekend away. I go on such weekends to have a break from my own Lille cherubs. I certainly wouldn't want someone else's in tow.

But you’re completely missing the point. OP’s going away with two friends who are child-free and happy for the baby to come. This isn’t a rare child free, raucous partying weekend. It’s a quiet weekend with two non-drinking friends.

I agree with wiggly’s post of 08.11

It sounds like no-one on this thread really likes their friends. Or can actually read OP’s updates.