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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take a 5 month old on a girls' weekend to Paris

714 replies

Patapouf · 10/08/2019 12:53

Has anyone done this and has tips to make it less stressful? I know the baby will get nothing out of it but I am not ready to leave him at home with DH for 2 nights just yet and I'm desperate to make the most of mat leave.

Travelling by Eurostar, probably stay in an Airbnb. Planning a bit of sightseeing but mainly mooching about, sitting in cafés and stocking up on skincare and food or maybe not having seen the value of the pound Grin

Friends will be hands on and help as much as they can but I'm very anxious that it will be disastrous. Baby is BF (not going well), but mostly EBM so worrying about the logistics of expressing or BF out and about. I also can't imagine trying to manoeuvre a pram on the narrow pavements. I know babies live in Paris, I did too once, but I'm a worrier.

Can I make this work? How can I pack light?

I suppose my AIBU should really be how can I be less nervous about travelling with a baby?

OP posts:
londonrach · 10/08/2019 19:21

Why on earth would you do this selfish act op. Go without baby or dont go! Cant be real as no one in their right mind would bring a baby to a girls weekend!

HeadintheiClouds · 10/08/2019 19:22

I think this one would...

IdblowJonSnow · 10/08/2019 19:22

I'd be gutted if a friend came with their baby on a girls weekend, boozy or not.
Purely because babies don't sleep! Especially in different environments!
But if you have a super chilled baby and very kind friends then this could work?
However I think your husband would cope and it could be a really good bonding experience for them?

wigglybluelines · 10/08/2019 19:23

Cant be real as no one in their right mind would bring a baby to a girls weekend!

This is getting very boring. Have you read the bit where the OP says her friends don't drink, don't go out clubbing and have said they're happy to have the baby along.

I wouldn't think twice about inviting a friend with a baby to a girls weekend away.

wigglybluelines · 10/08/2019 19:24

However I think your husband would cope and it could be a really good bonding experience for them?

A breastfed baby screaming for their mother all night and not understanding why she's not coming, isn't my idea of a good bonding experience! This is an exclusively BF baby.

Ginger1982 · 10/08/2019 19:30

I think if it's a trip you feel you'd have to 'get through' rather than 'enjoy' would it not be better to save the money you would spend on it (esp when on mat leave) and maybe go away somewhere with them in the new year when you perhaps would feel able to leave the baby?

Userzzzzz · 10/08/2019 19:36

GenevaMaybe

My babies haven’t got that skill either. We went away when no.1 was 11m old. Everyone said she’d sleep in the buggy while we ate. Tried it one night and it was hideous.

Reversiblesequinsforadults · 10/08/2019 19:39

I think you and your friends sound lovely, OP and I think you'll have a great time with a bit of realistic planning and some flexibility. Enjoy.

burblife · 10/08/2019 19:46

If you're set on going I recommend the following for travelling light:

An Elvie pump - I know it's £££ but I got one and it completely changed the way I feel about pumping. You could definitely pump on the go and be discreet about it.

You have the same slings as I do - I would say the ergo baby will be better for your back. I would practise feeding in the sling between now and the trip (perhaps the moby might keep you more covered up?)

If you need to sterilise bottles etc, buy Milton tablets and just fill up sink in hotel with cold water.

Buy nappies etc once in France to save on luggage weight.

Might be time to invest in a smaller stroller - you'll probably want it in a few months anyway (I recommend the ergobaby metro - folds up to hand luggage size but doesn't lay completely flat).

I think babies are definitely easier to travel with than toddlers. As long as you are happy to step back and let your friends go off if they are overwhelmed, I think you'll have a great trip!

wigglybluelines · 10/08/2019 19:49

See the idea of going out for a walk at, say 7pm, and then the baby sleeping while you eat at 8pm is the ideal

Both of my babies’ eyes popped open the second I dared to stop wheeling the pram

Yes it's certainly not something the OP should rely on. But it could be worth giving it a go. My DS was great in a pubs and restaurants and never slept at 7! He was more usually up till about 10pm (to the horror of my MIL!) So we'd just take him along with us if we were going out. He didn't cry much either, he was a very contented baby!

Once he was a toddler, however all that was over! He wouldn't sit still for anyone, didn't want to sit and eat, just wanted to run about. Our lovely Sunday lunches in pubs ended then! He did once fall asleep in the buggy the late afternoon once on a day out, so we grabbed the opportunity and popped into a Thai restaurant while he slept for an early dinner, which was lovely.

DD was totally different. She slept earlier and would be fractious if kept up late. She liked to be held when tired, so I could have her sleep on my chest in a sling when out, but she wouldn't have tolerated being in a buggy, she wanted to be close to me.

Each baby and mother is different. The key to travelling with little ones IMO is to be flexible and go with the flow, and take what opportunities arise to do your own thing!

I've taken my DC many long train journeys as babies and toddlers, the longest being about 8 hours (2 changes), a journey I've done a number of times. I've taken them on short flights, gone to festivals and away with friends.

And, with a couple of notable exceptions, it's been fine!

The key is to plan ahead, think carefully about how carrying your luggage will work with the baby, and then just do it!

Bibijayne · 10/08/2019 19:50

We did a long weekend away with our baby when he was 4 months. My sister and BIL came along too. It was lovely and chill.

If your friends are happy, do it.

In terms of traveling about - a baby carrier might be a good bet.

Patapouf · 10/08/2019 19:52

I can't stop laughing at being called a madam

I never expected my question to be so divisive, it's only a bloody weekend trip by train and I still don't know if I even want to go!

Arf at the PP who called it a selfish act, chill the fuck out it's not like you are invited and I'll be ruining your weekend Halo

OP posts:
LuckyKitty13 · 10/08/2019 19:52

Take a sling if you're going!

ShirleyPhallus · 10/08/2019 19:54

I can't stop laughing at being called a madam

Agreed. Who on earth posts stuff like that, in such a school-marmish tone reserved for telling off errant teens

AlexaAmbidextra · 10/08/2019 20:01

I think you and your friends sound lovely,

Confused? How do you come to that conclusion? All we have is one person posting on a forum and two other unknowns. Bizarre.

PointeShoesandTutus · 10/08/2019 20:07

We took DD to Paris when she was 6 months, it was lovely. Albeit it was me and DH.

We took the pram and the sling, but only used the pram once - it was just too much hassle on narrow streets, and we struggled getting in and out of cafes etc. She loved facing outwards looking around, and when it was nap time we flipped her to face in and she napped snuggled into my coat (it was winter).

We would have a big lunch out, and then just picked up baguettes/cheese/meats/wine for the hotel when she was asleep.

She loved the sparkly lights on the Eiffel Tower, the carousel nearby, and the gardens.

The only downside was she HATED the travel cot, so we ended up cosleeping. I’d have a trial run of a travel cot if you can.

Patapouf · 10/08/2019 20:17

My to-do list should I go is as follows:

-Trial cosleeping beforehand
-Invest in some hands free pumping gear if DS hasn't got the knack of BF full time
-pack a sling and a lightweight pram

  • practice feeding in a sling
-research baby friendly places in Paris -pack essentials only -prepare for my friends to hate me Grin

In all seriousness I would hope that some of you wouldn't be this aggressive to a FTM IRL. I'm very thick-skinned and obviously will go ahead and do whatever the bloody hell I want anyway, but if I were of a more delicate disposition I might have been upset by some of these posts. It's always helpful to have MN as a sounding board, perhaps AIBU wasn't the appropriate forum when I just wanted to hear from nice people who don't think I'm a lunatic

OP posts:
Sipperskipper · 10/08/2019 20:25

I can’t speak for your friends, but taking my DD to Paris at 5 months fills me with dread! She hated sitting still or being restrained (pram, car etc all a nightmare) - was only really happy rolling around the floor. She’d never nap out and about so would just get overtired and grumpy.

However, she’s 2 now and I’d be more than happy to go away for a weekend with her. Even eating out is easier! I’m aware this would be some people’s worst nightmare though & would much prefer a young baby.

I guess what I’m trying to say is all babies are different - easy / challenging at different stages & you know your baby best.

oblada · 10/08/2019 20:33

Pack: baby carrier + baby + yourself! Job done! No reason to pump etc just feed baby as and when needed. Buy nappies in Paris. Enjoy a relaxing week-end away, I know I would :)

Vasya · 10/08/2019 20:36

Won't your husband mind being separated from the baby just as much?

In all honesty it sounds like a terrible idea but you know yourself, your friends and your baby so you are better placed to judge!

SnuggyBuggy · 10/08/2019 20:46

It sounds like you have planned as best you can. Trialling is a good idea. Don't forget to take calpol and teething stuff just in case as well.

Herbalteahippie · 10/08/2019 20:52

YABU- taking baby means it won’t be a girls weekend it’ll be a baby weekend

showgirl · 10/08/2019 20:53

No! You say no thanks I can't make it or leave the baby at home.

Hobsbawm · 10/08/2019 21:06

I think it sounds fine, from your description of your friends and what you plan to do. Take a sling/baby carrier, not a pram. Baby will probably sleep more and it's possible to breastfeed with baby in a sling/carrier. Breastfed babies are very portable.

Early nights, sitting around chatting and drinking coffee, walking and browsing - sounds a lot like many of the days I spent with my first baby (I was just doing that in my home town, not Paris).

mamansnet · 10/08/2019 21:12

@Patapouf I totally agree you should try taking him if that's what you want to do, but I live in Paris and haven't found it to be a very child-friendly place tbh. I've lost count of how many times I've been out for coffee with friends, DS has had a poo explosion and I've had to do full clothes changes while balancing him on a desk or tiny sink because there's no baby change. I used to drive around town rather than take the metro so that I could change his nappy in the back of the boot. To this day, I can't think of a public place in Paris that has baby changes, apart from massive shopping centres out of town.

The metro is possibly THE most nightmarish aspect of travelling with a child so plan how you mean to travel - look for stations with disabled access. Otherwise your friends will have to help you traipse up and down the steps with a pram. Avoid avoid avoid the metro in rush hour.

I volunteer for a charity for a week once a year and took my DS with me when he was 5 months. I got away with it because we were on a coach for a lot of the daytime and I could bf whenever it suited us, but it wasn't easy. I was up at the crack of dawn to pump milk and bath him, so it can be done. Your timetable will be more relaxed than mine was, but you might still feel like you're surviving rather than enjoying yourself.

Also be aware that despite their more liberal attitudes to boobs and nudity, I'd still cover up while BFing in France. Had too many men leering, and lots of people finding me bizarre for BFing beyond 3/4 months.

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